Conversations with God part 1

Dear God,

Let me start off the conversation by asking for forgiveness, just because you know…human.

I feel I need to talk to you more often, it feels good. Sure, the standard prayers and invocations work and actually are there to make our lives easier. But at times I like to get raw with it.

As I’m typing this I want to talk about the song I will survive by Gloria Gaynor. I remember the song from when I was a little boy. It was catchy, fun and had a great beat to it. Not relatable at all though.

I caught my self singing it to my self just recently ( ” At first I was afraid I was petrified ta na na na na…. I will survive ) then it hit me. I could finally relate to it. It was like an aha moment. My guess is that the song is about a relationship but that’s not how I related to it, to me it was about life. Or life’s issues such as anxiety, depression, stress, obstacles, fears etc.

And that’s the beauty of songs really, everyone could have a whole different interpretation depending on what their going through. That I think is the true definition of art . And that’s where you came in for me in this particular scenario ( I know you’re always there, its me that needs a constant reminder ), you are my surviving mechanism, my rock.

When I say I will survive, you say ” Yes, you will ”

When I say I grew strong, you say ” Yes, you did ”

When I say , as long as I know how to love, I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live and I’ve got all my love to give and I’ll survive

You say, that’s a good place to start.

Thank you God for always being there. This conversation email has been informal, beautiful and touching.


A few things I wish I learnt in school.

By this time I had already broken my other leg. It was around a year or so apart. I always get lost with the timeline, but it was around then.

It was the second time I had a cast on. I was 10 or under.

The first time I had a cast on it was excruciatingly painful.

And I mean excruciatingly. Two weeks in and the doctors realized that my leg wasn’t placed in the right position in cast. So they had to remove the cast, twist my leg to position and put on a second cast. I screamed throughout. My mom cried silently but not discreetly, she was holding my hand

After the cast came off I walked a little awkward. The second time around I walked really awkwardly. I wish school would have intervened.

Most people back, neck, leg and foot problems due to wrong shoes and walking in an absurd way. It’s not our fault, we weren’t taught that. Now my dad tried to tell me but I didn’t listen. I didn’t believe. One authority figure isn’t enough. It takes a village you know. Imagine if schools would teach out how to walk? Crazy right?

Something as simple as walking we struggle with. We struggle with posture, positioning and overall alignment. Why aren’t we taught any of that?

I remember clearly one day in the shower I had a big a belly. I’d slap it around from time to time. I was 12, 13. I really wanted to impress girls, be strong and have rock hard abs. Every day after school I’d come back to do push up and pull ups until I was sweating. Others weren’t too motivated to impress others like I was. Can you blame us? The food they sold at school, and the weight everyone was putting on was fine. It was a very personal matter.

Cigarettes, drugs and alcohol weren’t though. I wonder why the drugs they’d feed us wasn’t a violation too.

All of us in school absolutely loved being taken to the video room to watch a movie if ever. That was very limited. It was done very sparingly and I really felt like the teachers didn’t like taking us just because we were having a good time. Maybe one of the few times I’d behave in a class. Imagine if educators used what we love to our advantage. Like art, film, sports, cooking, creating and discussing to their advantage?

Oh and by the way Mrs. Agitha, this is the 5,475th day I don’t use simultaneous equations.

and it’s been around 3,300 days that I didn’t photosynthesise any plant for safe keeping.

In class I remember lying through my teeth about what I’d do all day. Our teacher curiously asked me, ” What do you do all day at home? ” She wondered why wasn’t I getting anything at all done, despite the complaints, the warnings and threats about repeating the year and telling my parents on me etc. After she had met my dad and to her surprise found out that everything I said to her was a lie, she didn’t bother to ask me ” How are you ? ” or pretended to even care. But that’s not her job though so who cares. I just wish it was someone’s job at school to ask us about our emotional well-being.

Isn’t school what’s supposed to prepare us for the real world?


I want to do more of this

It’s February and I don’t want to force anything but I really want to write over here more.

For various reasons.

One being that I feel like I can bring something a little different to the table. Like maybe I can make a difference, I don’t know.

Last month was pretty long or has at least felt long to me. It’s been like 31 years.

Imagine what eternity feels like? Scary thought.

But now that we are passed 2018, I can look forward to the month I was born in.

I quit my full time job in November to pursue my passion at the moment. The reason I say passion at the moment is because before this I thought my passion was teaching, and it was for a really long time. 10 years, that’s a decade. A tree grows in a decade, man. Some kind of tree, I looked it up.

But that passion has swayed away, and I’m now a filmmaker man!
Wow, even typing that feels incredible. So what does than entail?

Well, I create films. I make make commercials, photoshoots and even video logs. I try my best to incorporate cinema into everything I do. I really do. I also occasionally write scripts and direct them too.

I believe I do things a little differently. I don’t do a lot of fancy shmancy slow motion stuff. Sure I do it from time to time but I like to focus on story. Story is everything I’ve got. Story is everything I make it about. Everything else helps enhance the story. But what’s the story about?


We are a beautiful story, we are all cinema and cinema is us. We get to choose our genre, name it and make it beautiful with colors and what not Black and white are also beautiful colors. I think without black, other colors would not exist, but that’s debatable.

I’m also a photographer!
I think and truly believe that anyone who does video work should do photo work. When you combine the two together, boy does the world make a lot more sense.

I will disappear for 30 days

It’s wrote a novel month.

I’ve never written a novel, I haven’t even read that many novels.

But I’m writing one. 50,000 words in one month ,and average of 1,667 words days.

I don’t know what the novel is going to be about, I don’t know how it’s gonna happen but this is happening baby. This is absolutely happening.

See you on the 1st of December. I may post from time to time but no promises. I’d rather over deliver.

If you’d like to join, then here’s the link.

God bless. Stay safe, healthy and sane till I see you.img_6651

10 reasons being part of a crowd is good

The crowd. We all want to be a part of it and we simultaneously don’t .

It’s a really funny thing. We spend half our lives trying to fit and the other half resisting fitting in and then we die.

I think you should always be part of the crowd, I think the crowd is good. I think with the right crowd, you’ll be a better you.

  1. We are social beings, we thrive on each other’s energy and existence. Being a part of a crowd helps you have a sense of direction and more importantly belonging.
  2. Care and love. Who are you going to care for and more importantly how are you going to be cared for or feel a sense of recognition if you are not part of a crowd.
  3. Opportunities all come through the flow of people. We need each other, anyway we grow is through empowering or feeling empowered. How can you not do that if you aren’t part of a crowd?
  4. Support systems are key. Support systems are what helped me make it out of very difficult situations in life. The good thing about those systems is that you can always keep modifying them. You can change, exchange and discard. So create a beautiful support system of great humans that will only bring the best out of you.
  5. You don’t want to die alone. Even if you have a family of your own, families grow, move out and change to create crowds of their own. Family is overrated when it comes to support systems. They’re great, don’t get me wrong. I love families and the whole idea behind it but they shouldn’t be your only support system rather part of a support system.
  6. You get to create in a crowd. Create futures, art and a lot creativity. The creative juices are always better in groups, just google ” brainstorm”. It should be called brains storm
  7. You get free therapy when you’re in a crowd. You get to laugh you problems away or maybe even talk about them, but the important thing is that you’re in the right crowd that’s elevating your soul and enriching your life. Or else modify 
  8. Compete, contrast, compare and continue forward. In a crowd you can always be checking yourself, comparing yourself and sharing constructive criticisms. It’s something you can measure up against. Be in or create a crowd that are always moving forward , talking ideas and push each other closer to the edge.
  9. Lower chance of heart disease dude. Your heart is a fragile thing that pumps blood and does a whole of miracles. So keep it in check. According to science friendships extends life expectancies and you get to not die with a failed heart. OR at least not as soon as that other guy who isn’t in a crowd.
  10. You will be less lonely when you’re part of a crowd. It’s always nice to know when there’s someone or more that are willing to go through thick and thin with.

I want to end this by stating the obvious.

Use your best judgement. Not all crowds are healthy, create one that inspires you and be open to the universe and all it has to provide.

people brasil guys avpaulista

group of people enjoying music concert


10 things real rain lovers would do

Most people I’m surrounded by like the idea of rain but don’t really like like rain.

If you want to become a rain lover, there are certain things you have to do to proof to yourself that you love, appreciate and enjoy the rain. Here are 10 things I think of doing when the rain showers upon us, which is a very rare commodity ( in this part of the world )

  1. Stand outside and just wonder while you’re being showered with purity. Get wet, and do not fear it, for it is only water. We are mostly of it, so do not fear it. But be like it, for we are one.
  2. Hydration by rain. Take a bottle water with you and place it under the rain. Place it into a bowl, boil it, then drink it. This is an odd one.
  3. After doing number 2 you could also make tea with rain water.
  4. Go out and run under water, oh my God the exhilaration. How often does that happen? Please make use of this free shower while you run. This right here is a runner’s dream
  5. Walk under the rain like there’s no rain falling. But there is. But you don’t care because you are a true rain lover. Aren’t you?
  6. Do I have to state the obvious about you taking selfies and all kind of crazy rain photography. But seriously I have taken some great rain shots. Mostly post rain, here’s one img_7458 for more awesomeness just follow me on instagram y’all @elcotth. Just get creative.
  7. If you have boots you don’t wear often or even better rain boots, then wear them and start jumping on paddles like a mad person, I would say madman but wouldn’t want to offend anyone. This point doesn’t apply to me because I don’t have any kind of boots .
  8. Plan out to go with a friend on a rain photoshoot and do the craziest stuff. How often do we say silly, creative rain poses. It would be an epic day to remember and you could start a new trend or your very own personal tradition
  9. Sit at an outdoor but covered cafe. Have a cup of coffee with maybe a delicious pastry while you hear the meditative sound of rain. It’s such a stress reliever.
  10. I’ve always heard of dancing in the rain but I wouldn’t know much about that now would I ?blur cars dew drops

10 ways to be happier NOW

I think by now we are aware of what happiness really is. It’s a state of mind.

But we don’t buy that. We don’t want to buy it and we will not buy it.

It’s too easy, too lazy, too simple.

Where’s the drama? Where’s the complexity? Where’s the hardship?

We like to complicate matters and dramatise every situation to feel more relevant and to feel like we matter. We create scenarios and turn little situations that aren’t considered situations into shit parties so we can feel sorry for ourselves. We also like to have an illusioned goal of what happiness is. So we aim towards nowhere and then complain some more.

It’s sad, it’s tiresome and it’s consuming. I was there for a long time. I was always chasing. I’m almost teary thinking about what I thought happiness was.

I mean we all know, and we all share happiness quotes

I’m usually a happy person but I chose to write this today because I was feeling beat down, tired and a little unhappy but then I remembered what happiness was. I remembered how happiness mattered most when I thought  I was unhappy. Here are 10 ways I get that happiness fix ASAP.

  1. I am not unhappy. I am tired. I am listening to the wrong voices, the wrong people and the wrong messages. I assess my situation and turns out I’m one of the luckiest people I know. What is your current situation?  Do you have food, water, shelter, limbs, health, smart phone, tv, laptop, car, pocket-money, friends, family, a fully functional brain? If you answered yes to most then you should be a happy and grateful little bunny.
  2. I am in charge of my happiness. I am the one who decides what will affect me ( for the most part at least ). This is a tricky one that requires a lot of mental work. I know it’s hard. It’s very hard. We have been programmed to complain, whine and protest. So imagine against what you know your whole life. Scary. When you go out with friends, do you talk happiness and blessing or complaints and curses? You know the answer to that.
  3. When things are out of control and overwhelming and I can’t seem to make anything right. I stop. I breathe. I do nothing and give myself that space to breathe and do absolutely nothing until I get my senses back and tackle one little thing at a time or not. It may just go away.
  4. Movement has always made me feel better for as long as I can remember. Walking, jogging, swimming, cycling, lifting weights and jumping. 10 minutes of time for myself to do what I need. Happiness comes when my body and mind are moving forward. Moving towards a better bod and a better mind. Moving towards a bright future. Moving towards happiness.
  5. Contrary to popular belief, talking about my problems don’t make them better. At least not anymore. In the past I used to always think that talking about my problems would make things better. This can be true for specific scenarios only.  Like talking about why I treated or was treated with a certain manner and so forth. But talking about general problems make me delve deep into the fact that I have a ” problem ” and think problem problem problem. No more. If something is bothering me and I have a ” problem “. I talk about solutions solutions solutions. Say I have a fitness problem. I don’t tell myself that or talk about that, I think about my next workout session and that only. Money problem? Think of new projects to take and clients to take on. No problem here. Relationship problem? Love more, do more, kiss and hug more. Done. No problem here. It’s all good. I focus on the good I will get more good. I focus on the issue then it becomes a bigger issue.
  6. In the grand scheme of things, I really have no control. I don’t control how you’ll react to this post, whether or not you’ll hate or love it. All I have a little control over are my actions and reactions. Now that I know how little control I have. What am I really worried about. God has this. I’m in good hands. I believe and trust in the process. There’s nothing more I can do but act and react. I am happy now that I don’t have to control so much. What a blessing.
  7. I don’t listen to problems. People who tell me how I have to take this seriously bla bla bla are people I don’t need to be talking to. Or people who constantly complain about the littlest of things are those I avoid like the plague. If you have problems you’d like to talk about it, please see someone else or see a shrink. You can on the other hand come talk to me about ideas, opportunities, happiness and love. I’m all ears.
  8. I think of my happy place. I think of my wife, children, friends, camera, computer, movies, books and of course fruits. I think of what makes me smile and happy. I think of the state we are all in. I think how we are all in one piece. Happiness. I also think of the weather, the people around me. It’s all beautiful. Happiness. Not many people have access to clean air and water. How can I not be happy? I feel like it would almost be a sin not to be.
  9. I look up to the sky and see God all around then I look down and see the same thing and I then remember, “God does not burden any human being with more than he is well able to bear:
    in his favor shall be whatever good he does. ” I’m good dude. There’s nothing I’m thrown at in life that I won’t be able to conquer. It’s why it has been given to me. Because I can.
  10. Every experience is a positive one. Every barrier is a lesson, every argument is a chance to learn more about yourself and be a better debater and every downfall is a chance to pick yourself up and be a hero like Batman did. It’s all good. It’s all good, it’s all good.

10 things to do with children ( for people who find children tedious )

Children are boring.

They can be really hard to entertain, but I don’t think that’s the real problem. I think we just find them boring, or at least I do a lot of the times. Especially when we have to play some sort of game with them. Boy!

They need a lot of attention.

I need a lot of patience when it comes to interacting with kids, but I have figured out a few things that make these kind of chores easier on me.

Here are 10 things I do with my kids to keep them entertained vs being on my phone while they shout out my name a 1000 times crying for attention and affection.

  1. Read in the most ridiculous manner. I read them in the most extravagant and ridiculous way. I’m acting out scenes, showing them pictures, asking them to repeat after me, ask them to point out, tickle them and it’s a blast. At some point they walk away and I’m still left reading like a mad man to myself. I just have to know how I would end this. They love it and I seem to get a kick out of it.
  2. This one’s my wife’s, and it works. She strips them butt naked, throws in a bunch of toys in a bath and keep them playing, splashing and having a great time. You should monitor while you read a book. But let’s face it you’ll be on your phone. 510272b7-8ae4-46e3-80ee-6d129e27c409
  3. Strip them down to their shorts and start slicing up fruit. I love this one because I enjoy fruit more than life itself a lot of the time. So we all end up fighting for fruit. It really does kill time. Especially if you do this then do number 2. There goes 2-3 hours.    8510b9b2-1a19-461c-9982-7880f7df7616
  4. Wrestle them to the death. This is a great workout and it’s very important especially for fathers to engage in some physical activity with our children. I read that in Jordan Peterson’s book. It’s good for children’s development and self esteem. They get to be familiar with their physical limits and also become much better socially. Wrestle them, it’s a blast.
  5. Take them for a walk/run/jog. Put them in a stroller and go breathe outdoors. As you’re outside walking them, start telling them what things are called. Education and leisure have never been this fun. ” Look that’s a puddle, look that’s a tree, look that’s a caaaaar “
  6. Play dates. I wish more of my friends had babies, but the sad truth is not many do. But those who do, I love having our kids play together while we socialise and talk about how amazing each other’s kids are. That’s a sure win for us all.
  7. Big puzzles are great and the reason that is, is because you get to do most of the work, meaning you’re occupied. So you pick out a piece of puzzle and have them fill it out. No boredom here.
  8. Sing a long. Have a sing a long with some of your favourite songs. That way, you get to sing songs you like plus and they get to learn them. This usually doesn’t last very long though.
  9. Print out drawing papers. This can kill a lot of time if you have them draw, color or trace. It’s good fun for them and you don’t really need to be doing anything while they do it 😀
  10. There’s this website that I stumbled upon called and it is AMAZING. You can teach your children simple cooking. This can help develop their math skills and widen their vocabulary. What’s in it for me though? It’s food. Enough said.

10 life altering ways I increased my productivity and improved my alertness

I stared losing grip of it all, and what’s worse was that I was seeing others losing grip of it and that wasn’t helping. I somehow felt like I was part of a community, meaning if they got sucked into they I would too.

But that wasn’t the case. I didn’t have to join the falling crowd. I have no problem of being a sheep if we’re all moving forward, being open to new ideas and opportunities. Heck, being part of a tribe, community and society is what we have been built for. So, sure I can be a sheep as long it serves me spiritually, physically, financially and mentally.

But this wasn’t serving me. No it wasn’t. I needed a way out.

NOW. I couldn’t wait any longer. I have 2 babies. I have bills. I am an adult. What more proof do I need to convince me that life is moving forward with or without me, and that I will be worm food any minute now. I can’t have this take over me. Here’s 10 things I did to be as productive as I can and combat the social media virus.

  1. Lock dow. I locked my apps. Yes, I put them under arrest so that I could rest, and take over this whirlwind that was passing by. It’s taken so many around me, I wasn’t  going to to just stand there and have it take me along for the ride. No way Jose. I use ” Flipd ” for this. The beautiful part is that you can’t even unlock the apps until their time is up. Beauty at it’s fiercest.
  2. Snapchat didn’t serve me, Linkedin didn’t serve me, Facebook is almost not serving me until I started writing again. Anything that didn’t serve me I deleted off my phone. I share these posts only using my laptop on Facebook.
  3. I was always alert and as conscious as I could be when I was using social media. Every time I’d be using I would be checking myself and checking what I was looking at and why. Why am I reading about this particular subject and how’s it going to leave me feeling
  4. No games ever. EVER. My wife has become a prey to these games, and I sometimes can’t help but feel a little sad. Until I find myself on Youtube like a madman. Games suck the living life out of you, leaving unfocused, frustrated and goal ( less )
  5. Turn off notifications. Doesn’t really help if you open your phone every 2-3 minutes, but hey it was a start.
  6. No phone rules. While out with family and friends. I’d make sure to indulge and be 100% present when I’m out and about with other human beings. On some weekends I even leave my phone in the car and go about my day. So liberating. Until my wife yells at me, because we can’t be separated at the mall without wasting so much time. Suddenly liberty ceases to be.
  7. Scheduled time to use social media. I now Have a dedicated time to use the mindless. Now, I have to be transparent and say that on days I’m more active than some only because social media is my career. It’s how I make a living and provide. But that still doesn’t mean that it has to take over my life.
  8. Carry a book with you everywhere. I now buy a book I really want to read and replace that with that ” smart” phone of mine that isn’t necessarily making me any smarter. Any time I have, I open the book and read. You’d be shocked at how much you end up reading and how good you feel about yourself. I feel pretty darn good.
  9. Carry a notebook with you and write. I write down ideas that I get, write down how I’m feeling, write down how this experience is going for me. Hell,  I can even write it down to share on social media and hopefully inspire others to escape their roles on The walking dead season 14. Like this post 🙂
  10. Stay woke. Be alert, conscious , and aware of how much our attention spams are shrinking. Protect yourself, love yourself, love your environment, love your friends, children and fellow humans. Stay woke.

After hours not being online, I go on it and find that nothing has really changed and that I didn’t really miss anything. What I really was doing was missing out on my own life. Sad but true.

me pod

10 reasons why everyone should be writing

It was a foreign idea. Write things down.

The only time I was ever required to write was when I had to fill in a form, or write something down on the board. I never really wrote for “me”.

But then I did and the quality of my brain has improved as a result. It doesn’t have to be hard, it doesn’t have to be a novel and it doesn’t have to be complex.

It could be as easy as writing down feelings, happy thoughts, bad thoughts , and your to- do list of the day.

It transformed how I think, I now think in a more linear way, I can sort out my thoughts in a more organised way and I can also write a little more confidently. Here’s why I think everyone should be doing

  1. Make brain work We have a lot a going on inside that little brain of ours, putting it on paper make us more articulate and thought-provoking. Put your thoughts and feelings on paper and see how much more you’ll understand that beautiful machine labelled ” My brain “person holding string lights photo
  2. Sharpness: When you put out to do things on paper, you get to put noise into ” real words ” and that’s powerful. You get to be more expressive and concise about how you feel. How many people can you think of, that have a hard time expressing themselves? 🙂green cactus wallpaper
  3. The people’s person: When people see how well you can express yourselves, you will then be approached by those who have trouble doing it. You can help out loved ones and friends too. Heck, you could eventually make a buck or two out of this!  *Think life coach*abraham lincolcn statue
  4. Do it for long enough and you become a bloody killing machine. But better. You become an idea machine. The more you write, the more you can have ideas and the more you can get yourself ( and others ) out of ruts. Becoming an idea machine and write down your ideas everyday. I like to write down 10, 5-7 days a week. abstract blackboard bulb chalkIt ain’t easy
  5. Be free of constipation.person cleaning flush toilet

    I still do have word constipation from time to time. Being a stutterer, it’s hard enough having vocal constipation, so I really have to go the extra mile here. So imagine what you beautiful creatures could say, do and achieve.

  6. When you write better, you read better and vice versa. You get to enjoy books more and start looking for little ways in how you can be better at it. So much fun
  7. Anger management done right. When I put my feelings down on paper, I leave it there and come back to it. I start assessing why I felt that way, what I wrote and how to rise above. You’d never be able to achieve that by just thinking, because feelings and emotions, come and go. It’s hard to retain anything clearly when so much is going on in there. You get to be your own therapist. How cool?!man person face portrait
  8. This one’s a bonus but you actually improve your vocabulary, spellings and fluency.  BOOM. As I write things down now and I find myself using terms that I’d never actually say but once I write them over and over, I start to use them in my everyday vocabulary.
  9. Discipline. Anything that you do overtime becomes a habit and that discipline is called FREEDOM. You want freedom? Be discipline. Free your mind and write.
  10. Gratitude is what makes a happy life, I’ve come to learn that gratitude is above all and showing that even to myself is writing down a few things I feel grateful for. If I ever feel like shit’s gonna hit the fan, I note down beautiful traits I have in my life. I then take deep breaths, look at what I wrote, envision my life with it and how special, lucky and blessed I am to have what I have IMG_0556

I hope this makes you pick out a pen, or pencil, or keyboard and write something.

pen writing notes studying