My chest was tight, it felt like my heart was skipping a beat. I told my colleagues what to do incase I had a heart attack or they found me lying unconscious at work. I explained where the nearest hospital was, who would drive me there while I was passed out and even who would accompany me.
Some laughed and some didn’t appreciate the humor, but I wasn’t really joking. I thought it was really important for others to know what to do incase of an emergency. We then delved into this topic a little deeper. I asked ” How do you imagine yourself dying?” and none of them had an answer, because they didn’t like to think about death, talk about it or even hear others talk about it.
We’re all bound to die, so I think that this is a very important topic. I think about death all the time and sometimes even fantasize about it. I imagine different ways that I would die and how people around me would be affected, and this kind of makes me feel good sometimes. We all like to feel important and we all want to be missed and acknowledged.
We all then opened up to each other and shared some death stories, I always thought that I’d be able to get over someone’s death pretty quick but then someone told me that she had lost her father at the age of 16 and until this now she misses him and thinks about him everyday. I guess I was wrong, she has a better perspective on death, cause she had someone extremely close to her die, so she has first hand experience with that. My grandfather died exactly on the day of the Egyptian revolution ( January 25. 2011), I guess it was a good thing, the last thing he needed to see before he died was his country being torn apart. It affected me deeply and until this day I think of him and pray that he is in a better place but I have moved on, and I moved on pretty quick, I tend to let go of things such as death, cause we’re all going the same way, but I may not be able to get over someone who is even closer. We’ll see, unless I go first and then I’ll definitely have no first had emotional experience with this.
After a few discussions, I felt relieved, energized and ready to take on my class full force, I just had such a good feeling after talking about death because I was even more appreciative that I’m still alive and I didn’t want to waste more time. I just wanted to be the best that I can be while I still can.
I told them “good talk, we should do this more often”. No one agreed that we should talk about this quite often but I think that this should be small talk conversation, what mean could attract a better conversation than death? Sex maybe? Music? I still think that death beats them all, but not everyone will want to speak to you that often after that. One of my colleagues seemed a bit down after the talk, she ended up calling her mother and just saying “hello” . I think that was good, that’s what I mean by feeling energized and positive. It made her call her mom, and it made feel very positive and good cause I was still alive and I could so more good.
Anyways, I’m heading into 600 words, I’ll just mention how I Imagine myself dying. I imagine myself dropping dead randomly, sometimes I think that I may die while running a marathon or a triathlon and just falling down and not getting up. A funny way would be crossing the finish line embracing all the cheers and just falling down after all that, people not knowing whether I’m exhausted, excited or just dropped dead. But how I’d really like to die is while I’m praying.
How do you think you’ll die? 🙂