Please tell me your excuse too

Ive been missing in action and I miss writing. I sold my laptop and haven’t written anything since. I’m typing this out of my IPhone. It isn’t the same. I’ve avoided writing a whole blog post on my phone just because it doesn’t feel the same.

But is that really an excuse to stop doing something?  Sure it’ll take me longer and sure it doesn’t feel the same!  But do I really have to stop? I mean, I have a smart phone for God’s sake and a WordPress app is even on it.

I feel like those people that give me an excuse on why they eat poorly due to having a low budget. Or like those who say they can’t workout cause they can’t afford a gym membership (little secret between you and me: neither can I. Shhhh) or even worse I feel like those who say when I get X I’ll be Y. 

But today as I sit waiting for my late student to show up (which turned out to be a blessing in disguise so I can write this ) I feel frustrated without a laptop and feel less. Just less. It’s like I’m missing a big part of me. 

I haven’t blogged in a while and haven’t video edited in a while too because of a laptop. I’m holding a smart phone that’s capable of doing both. Maybe not as efficient but it gets the job done. 

Does a laptop define me? Does a gym membership define you? What other material possessions make me into the person who I am today? 

What defines you? And what excuses are you making for a better more productive life too?

Please make me feel better and tell me what perfect moment are you waiting for you   to become the person you want to become? 

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Are we really spoilt for choice?

“You’re not going to eat that!”  was the last thing I heard from them.

And that was the end of those relationships.

We are open to all kind of things nowadays. But not when it comes to food. When it comes to food we become closed minded, arrogant, ignorant and plain stupid beings.

Of course I’m luckily not any of the above. Anymore. Maybe if I didn’t have those eating habits I would have been the same. I would have been as ignorant and closed minded as our beautiful society.

One thing I’ve come to learn for sure is people who think outside the circle are the most accepting and open minded people. But we/they are often the ones that are pointed the finger at for being closed minded and ignorant because we don’t subscribe to their agenda.

We are open about religion, sexuality ( nowadays) , politics ( mostly) but please God oh God do not talk about food or else you will be eaten alive.

Try going to a family dinner with your own food and see what happens. Yep.

In my case try taking papayas with you to a family Iftar ( Ramadan’s breakfast ) and see how open minded everybody gets.

Everyone gets so concerned once you start eating more fruits and vegetables and less of what they eat. They’re afraid we’re going to miss out on heart disease, diabetes, passing on the torch to the coming generations and of course good ol’ protein.

Last ramadan, I had the honor of eating all of my meals alone and I don’t think that I have ever felt better, leaner and just good overall during Ramadan. I was going through  cartons and cartons of fruits all on my own. Did I miss being judged and called upon during my meals? NO! I was having so much of a blast that I recorded 90% of my meals and posted them on Youtube.

After that I had people actually call me and tell me how they wish they could do that but they you couldn’t because they’d be invited over to family and friends and they wouldn’t let them. Let me tell you that one of the people who contacted me was a mother of 3.

Yes, they’re an open minded family as long as you eat what their eating.

Try bringing pizza over and see how everyone reacts. Mostly happy. Some will say ” Why, but we have food. Better food at home” and that’s as far as it goes.

BUT

BUT try bringing a box of mangoes, papayas or bananas and watch hell unleash as they try to school you on nutrition. Yes the diabetics, heart diseased, over weight loved ones shall school you on what’s to be eaten. Fruit only comes when you have stuffed your gut with oil and salt. Then comes a slice of apple to make it all go away.

I now find it mind boggling that we get nosy and annoyed on what people eat. Especially when its plant foods.

All these food choices, all the kinds of people we have living on this planet. And food is still enforced upon us. I don’t why it offends people that I’d prefer a banana over their oily foods for breakfast or whether I eat 30-40 bananas day at times. Or when I eat 6 kilos of mangoes in one sitting.

As extreme as all of this sounds. I find eating half a liter of oil extreme. Even if it’s olive oil for God’s sake. I find smoking not only extreme but irresponsible to your health, the health of everybody around you and irresponsible to the little remaining fresh air that we breath. I find it extreme when you start falling asleep after a meal and that your life should be put on hold after every meal. I find it extreme when I can’t look at my private parts when I stand straight.

I especially find it extreme when they have to open up my clogged arteries. More than some would call that extreme, right?

when my house is on fire

I needed to write this but it was 17%. By the time the page opened its now 15%.

Help!

It’s my brain I’m talking too.
I have been at an all down in life many times and just recently  was at an all down. I needed to get back up but I had no idea how. I had no idea why I wasn’t getting up actually. It’s like watching your house burn while you just sit there and slowly take a bag to pack your bag and take unnecessary belongings. Not unimportant, just unnecessary.
That’s how it was for me. Picking up belongings while my own house was burning. I didn’t know I was so slow. I could see the house burn but couldn’t feel the burn. I was numb. But conscience. Was still moving but very very slow.

Nights got more comfortable and mornings were a dread. oh God it was horrible. Who was that person? What was happening. My brain was too slow to calculate or fathom anything at all. It all made no sense to me.

Here’s how I picked myself back up and almost left my belongings in the fire to just walk out. Almost.

  1. Sleep. Yes sleep through it. Most people who are depressed sleep a lot. Since my brain couldn’t function well I decided it needed more cells and the best way to repair that was sleep. I decided to sleep more and just dwell in ghost town.
  2. Exercise. Every morning I decided to run/ bike  or at least walk. It gets the body moving and the brain happy. Google how a runners brain looks like. There you go. I couldn’t afford going to gym anymore.
  3. Read. Read, read, read and read some more.
  4. Do one thing you’re good at and that makes you happy. I’m writing this. Don’t know if I’m any good at it but I like it and it makes me feel productive. Or I’ll try and make short films on my phone. The little things.
  5. Nutrition. To get out of my horrible state, I had to eat good nutritious food. The type that’ll make talk about it to other people. The type that’ll have me get up and feel good while everyone around me is in a food coma.
  6. Gratitude. Thank God and everyone around for everything you can think of. Pray harder, thank more. Smile. Cover that darkness with a smile so wide you get rid of that bag and just hit the door running for you life. Burns take a lot to recover from you know.

I’m on 9% now and I’ll have to read proof real quick and share it in as many places as I can. I wish I could go on but I need my sleep. Brain cells, remember? I’m still slower than usual.

I’m almost done packing up bag, haven’t let go of it just yet but I will if I continue doing these rituals.I have before.

I’m at 6% now.

 

Guilt and waste

I’ve always wanted to write about something really great that I have accomplished. Something where I can tell people “hey, check me out!! Now be like me”.

But I don’t think I want that anymore. I mean sure every now and then I’ll write about something I’ve accomplished to hopefully inspire one person. Just one will do.

But this post is for me more than anybody else. As I write this, I won’t mind if someone shares the same sentiments as I.

I’m heading towards my late 20’s and I’m afraid. I know a lot of you readers are older than that and this applies to everyone who is still breathing. But I have changed my perspective on life but I’m still afraid. The older I get, the faster time goes by for some reason. I remember the days where I would tell people I’m older just so I can feel like a cool old dude who has it all figured out and has seen everything that life has to offer. What an ignorant fool was I.

Now I proudly still people I’m twenty…… It feels good. I like it. I want time to freeze  time while I tiptoe around it. I now look back at how much time I wasted and what I could have achieved earlier. But it’s all good. Patience. They were all valuable lessons that I can talk about .

The faster you waste time, the faster you learn I guess. I see people living the same life over and over and over and over and over again. They go to work, complaint, stay up, come to work, complain, buy stuff they don’t need. Have an okay weekend and repeat.

And I see people living life like it’s their last. Literally. In a very disturbing YOLO hipster psycho way. Where they do things to hurt their, bodies, mind and spirituality in a way that takes a whole lot to recover from. Leaving them with memories not too fond of sharing.

I see people living for others. As noble as that is, they’re not happy. And I don’t mean the kind of life that Mother Teresa lead. I mean a life where they have to provide for their family at the age of 70 as their family suck the living life out of them leaving them with no soul left.

Balance is hard. And the good examples out there are scarce. I am afraid I end up regretting even more than I do now. I’m afraid that I reach my time without treading lightly on this earth and not doing my part for leaving it better. I’m afraid I don’t do fulfill my duties to God. I’m afraid.

But writing all of this, I can always look forward to tomorrow. And in case I’ve dropped dead at least this post will have reached one of you. And my feeling and intentions will have be put out there for the world to take in and maybe cause others to tread lightly.

And as I write this I know that my heart and mind are in the right place. I am in a good place and will try and not waste as much time anymore. It feels good.

I was hoping that I type this to you 10 years from now with accomplishment so big that the world could be a better place for it.

Here’s what I planned to name it

“Don’t be guilty of a wasted life”

ABC

I walked up to him. It was windy and we stood right in front of the highway in winter.

Winter had already come. I walked up real close, took one glove out and  smacked him right in the forehead for stupidity. The sound was like music to my ears. He started yelling and protesting but I walked away and ignored everything else. The rest was not important to me. I got my satisfaction from the smack and the beautiful tune that came out of it.

A few days later, I felt a little guilty. Still proud but guilty and what if I handled it in a better way? What if I just spoke calmly and let him indulge in his stupidity and stubbornness. What did that slap in the head solve but my satisfaction?

He obviously still thinks he is right and makes a good point after that. So nothing really changed about the way he thinks. He just got humiliated and I felt better about it. But where’s the good in any of this? I mean is that self satisfaction really helping me?

I think it was helping my ego. And that’s not good. Ego is good, only when its going to do good. We need a little ego to get things done in life but not to hurt others like that, especially when it does not benefit anyone.

On another occasion I was then asked, what I though was a very stupid question. I thought about what I did the other day to the gentlemen and the noise his forehead produced was not one I wanted to hear again. So I kept my cool and thought about the question.

Here’s what my brain analyzed. Stupid, offensive and disciplinary questions are asked for 2 reasons.

  1. The person asking really doesn’t know what you’re talking about and they are genuinely curious. Which is always a good question to answer then.
  2. The second type is where they ask questions to just piss you off, annoy you or try and belittle you .

Number 2 is where I have trouble with. Or had. I’m working on them. People who want to belittle you or try to show you that they’re better than you are those who are little people inside and need to uplift themselves by showing you that they’re better.

Here’s the dirty secret. They never get uplifted by doing that. They just don’t know it. As proud as I felt that way, I really feel the need to keep doing that again and again to feel better. That’s why I had to stop doing it.

People who are miserable make others feel miserable. People who feel little need to belittle others. They get temporarily uplifted by being who they are to others.

Please forgive them. Smile. Answer them and walk away. And don’t ever look back.

Whenever you’re put in a situation always remember ABC

A lways

B e

C ool

Keep your cool, you’ll feel better, they’ll feel worse and you’re actually helping them overcome whatever they’re going through.

SO please ABC

I have abandoned

Ok fine, I’m guilty as charged. I have cheated.

But it all happened organically. I never meant to. I feel so dirty writing this. It’s like coming back to a person you have abandoned letting go of them at their weakest just to come back realizing it was you who needed them all along.

Before you, my fellow reader get carried away. I’m talking about my lovely lovely blog. The blog that has really helped me at desperate times. It has been there for me whenever I’ve needed. What more could I have asked for? I mean really? But we tend to take those things/people for granted most. Unfortunately. Until its too late. Fortunate for me, I returned before its too late. I’m back and I feel like I have been forgiven. How can I tell? Let me tell you how. My fingers are razor sharp, the words are flowing out like butter.

like buttah

Which means that I have my groove back and I’m loving it

 

mcdonald's-im-lovin-it-vector-logo

It feels so good to be writing like this again. And I don’t ever want to abandon it again, not for this long at least. It’s been like..3-4 days? . Still. It feels like i’ve been gone a lifetime.

So where have I been?

Well, the world of vlogging has taken me by the horns. I’m in love again. But it isn’t fair to say in love again because I’ve always been in love. The right phrase would be ” in love with more”. We are capable of so much more. Why do we limit ourselves? let’s love and spray it all over the place. I love making youtube videos just as much as I love writing. They are both very different and dear to my heart.

They both bring in different sides of me. And that’s who we are. Different people to different situations and circumstances.  But they both definitely have one thing in common> They have my full attention. They squeeze the creativity out of me. They make me do/write things I thought I wasn’t able to. I learn a lot everyday from these two disciplines and I totally love it. Thank you Blog. Thank you Youtube.

I realize now that I really have a passion for film making. And I love making daily films. As I write this I feel like my head is spinning. I’m sitting in a dark room and everything around me is spinning but me and my laptop. Now that’s pretty wicked.

I want to continue writing and I will do my best to make enough time for it. But for now my heart goes hand in hand with you ( the blog) and Youtube. We shall see who remains standing last.

Hopefully nobody falls. Until I do

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A simple post that turned into a thread

I really want to watch the force awakens again! 😨😨…in the movies!!! Any takers? 
I also want to watch all of the Star Wars movie again..but in order this time.
There’s just so much to learn from them.
Every film I watch, I watch with purpose and with my guard up. My guard is always up for hints, effects, great storylines. I take back with me so much good. I really want to be a filmmaker. I want to make short films that are filled with awesomeness.
Even the bad behaviours and bad influences that they try to inflict on us I take. I learn to not ever want any of that and to always look at the bright side and stick to my moral compass. We all need a moral compass. 
Just like life. There’s good and there’s bad. We always want to take the good of life and leave the bad. But there will be always be those who fall for the bad, out of desperation, immaturity or simply a lack of knowledge of who they really are. It takes real character, self control and maturity to not follow the bad crowd. It’s just so easy these days. 
I believe if we cover our eyes from the bad and pretend it isn’t there we could somehow be living a lie. Not necessarily a lie but we could fall for it easily indirectly if we are not aware. 
On the other hand people who are put in a box and kept from all “the bad” are pretty much safe because they’ll never know how bad this world can be. But how about the priests who dedicate their lives to God and the church. They can never get married, start a family or even go to certain places. They’re safe right? A good percentage of them end up molesting children as they confess their sins to them. I thought being in a box was safe right?!
Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not Anti-Christian sentiment or christianophobia. Yes those are real words. But the reason I used a priest as an example was because that’s what was on my mind right now. I don’t even have to get started on Islam. We all know just well what a brainwashed Muslim can do. I hope this balances it out. 
What I’m trying to say is maybe if the molester and the terrorist were living a life where they were exposed to all kinds of wonders in the world ( good and bad ) and saw the effects of the bad wonders and what it led to. They’d be more likely to choose good, rather than just see what the box had to offer and nothing more. 
But what do I know.
All I know is I really wanna watch all of the Star Wars again, this time in blu ray! Then we can discuss about it in depth! 

Fad diets work

One of my work colleagues all of a sudden came to work after a long leave a different person. I mean that literally and not figuratively. He actually came back a lot thinner. This is the guy with man boobs, a beer like belly and a bad attitude.

We all thought he did some kind of surgery or magic. But he didn’t. He did something called the apple diet.  He lost tons of weight. For a while. He looked at us all high and mighty. That only lasted 2 weeks though. He then started over eating due to being on a very restrictive diet and starving himself. He ballooned again, and we all were happy to see his man boobs return. He was a prick.

Another friend of mine was getting married and she wanted to look good for her honeymoon pictures..or just look good in the honeymoon. So she decided 4 days before the wedding to lose a tremendous amount of weight. She asked me to make 11 bottles of green smoothies everyday for 3 days. She started getting the chills about marriage and thought she’d never even make it to the honeymoon. She got lightheaded, even more frustrated at everyone around her but ended up losing the weight. The smoothie fast worked. After the honeymoon she was nicknamed Winnie the pooh. The buffets looked irresistible after 4 days of juice only. Well, it’s the first impression that matters most I guess.

Another frustrated overweight, almost obese buddy of mine was sick and tired of feeling unattractive. He went from eating half the store to eating almonds and yogurt. I really wish I could say that any changes even happened. He didn’t make it pass day 3. But i’m sure if he did, he would have lost tons of weight.

Moral of story? These fad, 7 day bikini body definitely works. Yes, they do. For a while. You end up going through an excruciating physical and psychological mess, just to get even fatter. If you want long term results, please be patient, take the right path to physical and mental health and wait for it. Your body waited for you to fatten it with butter, salt and sugar. It didn’t happen overnight. It’s now your turn to wait.

Please wait for it

 

2016. What now?

It’s the first post of the year. I have so much to say, so much to write. I don’t even know where to start from or what to topic to choose first. Thoughts are flying through my head and it’s hard to put it all together in one post. It’s confusing actually and will probably not make that much sense either.

Well let me start with this being a new year then and my resolutions right?
Since all of us have new years resolutions, I think it’s appropriate that I have some too. But I don’t want to have any. I just don’t think that way. I use the new year to look back at what I have accomplished and not to start accomplishing.  I am constantly thinking of how to better myself and in what areas should I be investing in more of my time and effort. Would have liked to say money too but I’m afraid that money is not something I acquire enough of to actually invest in anything which is comforting. I’m not tied by it. But that’s a whole other post of it’s own. Back to what I do in the new year. Nothing really. Look back and reflect. Here’s what went well for me and what didn’t. What went well..

  1. I started writing and this has helped me a lot more than I have imagined. It taught me patience, creativity and mainly the power of consistency. One of the other topics flying through my head is about this blog and i’ll definitely write about how precisely it has helped.
  2. A month or less before new years I kick started my Youtube channel again and I’m absolutely loving it. I can’t believe I didn’t start earlier. What an idiot. I kept on stalling and waiting for the perfect video, the perfect topic, and the perfect timing. News flash: There is no perfect anything. Produce what you love and talk about what you’re passionate about and watch it turn into perfection. Just do it. That’s the only way it will turn into something beautiful.
  3. I have gotten more offers to teach around. My teaching/coaching career has kicked off and I’m truly blessed and honored to know that a stuttering person like me is able to educate and entertain 100’s of people over the whole year. Not many people had any faith in me when I was growing up, but the few that did really kept me going and I never stopped having faith in me, regardless of what people told me. I was pretty cocky. And that helped me develop in the long turn.
  4. I have a beautiful new bundle of happiness in the family. A baby daughter. She’s the reason why I work even harder. I want her to be proud of me and I hope I make her proud and she’s able to look up to me and tell others how I have touched her life in an indescribable way.
  5. I learnt a lot about myself and fought me till I became better. Still need to fight me. I’m a work in progress.
  6. I have figured it out. The past year was all about figuring it out. And I think I have it pretty much figured out. Not completely and I don’t think I’ll ever fully know and thats fine. But I feel good about what I have figured out so far. Now all I have to do is do, do, do and do some more.
  7. I’ve met some amazing people from plenty walks of life. And that has turned me into a really tolerable ( *more tolerable ) and open minded person.
  8. My home business has flourished and we are now serving up to a 100 people a month sometimes. That’s huge for me. I feel good about it because we actually provide an honest to God good product that benefits people. It’s what I want. A healthier world. A healthier island.
  9. I’ve learned to love more.

The not so good about 2015.

  1. I haven’t grown athletically as I do every year. But that’s fine. I’ve seen people I was stronger and faster than beat me. And I’ve accepted and come to terms with it. It’s nice how people grow.Gives me hope. I’m now a different athlete. No longer a competitive one ( for now at least) but an adventurous one. And I feel physically and mentally better for that.
  2. I have learned I have demons I have to fight. But don’t we all. These are just new demons.
  3. Money has been bad. This is pretty personal but it has been a great experience. It has also helped me deal with money in a different way.
  4. I stalled. I stalled a lot things the past year and this is maybe the worse one of all. I can’t bring back  lost time and I hate myself for it. But let bygones be bygones. I waited too long to write posts. All I did was write down all my ideas. I waited too long to make awesome videos. All I had were fantasies of them. I hope I get better at this and I will look back at this a year from now and compare it. This is what I do, I look back and see what I have accomplished. and keep doing what’s need to be done.

That’s pretty much all I can think of right now. oh and I guess sleep. Haven’t slept as good as I used to but I now feel fine with 6 hours of sleep vs 8-10.

Happy new year everybody. If you’ve waited for this time to come to better yourself then please don’t wait any longer. Life’s too short and everytime I look I say I wish I’ve began earlier. The earlier your start, the faster you progress.