Guilt and waste

I’ve always wanted to write about something really great that I have accomplished. Something where I can tell people “hey, check me out!! Now be like me”.

But I don’t think I want that anymore. I mean sure every now and then I’ll write about something I’ve accomplished to hopefully inspire one person. Just one will do.

But this post is for me more than anybody else. As I write this, I won’t mind if someone shares the same sentiments as I.

I’m heading towards my late 20’s and I’m afraid. I know a lot of you readers are older than that and this applies to everyone who is still breathing. But I have changed my perspective on life but I’m still afraid. The older I get, the faster time goes by for some reason. I remember the days where I would tell people I’m older just so I can feel like a cool old dude who has it all figured out and has seen everything that life has to offer. What an ignorant fool was I.

Now I proudly still people I’m twenty…… It feels good. I like it. I want time to freeze  time while I tiptoe around it. I now look back at how much time I wasted and what I could have achieved earlier. But it’s all good. Patience. They were all valuable lessons that I can talk about .

The faster you waste time, the faster you learn I guess. I see people living the same life over and over and over and over and over again. They go to work, complaint, stay up, come to work, complain, buy stuff they don’t need. Have an okay weekend and repeat.

And I see people living life like it’s their last. Literally. In a very disturbing YOLO hipster psycho way. Where they do things to hurt their, bodies, mind and spirituality in a way that takes a whole lot to recover from. Leaving them with memories not too fond of sharing.

I see people living for others. As noble as that is, they’re not happy. And I don’t mean the kind of life that Mother Teresa lead. I mean a life where they have to provide for their family at the age of 70 as their family suck the living life out of them leaving them with no soul left.

Balance is hard. And the good examples out there are scarce. I am afraid I end up regretting even more than I do now. I’m afraid that I reach my time without treading lightly on this earth and not doing my part for leaving it better. I’m afraid I don’t do fulfill my duties to God. I’m afraid.

But writing all of this, I can always look forward to tomorrow. And in case I’ve dropped dead at least this post will have reached one of you. And my feeling and intentions will have be put out there for the world to take in and maybe cause others to tread lightly.

And as I write this I know that my heart and mind are in the right place. I am in a good place and will try and not waste as much time anymore. It feels good.

I was hoping that I type this to you 10 years from now with accomplishment so big that the world could be a better place for it.

Here’s what I planned to name it

“Don’t be guilty of a wasted life”

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