Don’t be an angel

I cried and yelled to my partner telling them how unfair they were being. I cried and yelled to my friends about not being good friends in my time of need.

When I had no one to turn to I then cried to the universe about how unfair it was to me.

Why me? A question we all ask ourselves. Why is my life so hard?  Why is my partner doing this to me? Why don’t I have a job?  Why don’t I get enough attention? Why Why why why Why why?

And then it hit me. ” I was too good for all this “. 

I rocked. I really rocked. All of this shouldn’t have been happening to me. I’m a good cool lad. I have charisma. I can run pretty well. That should count as something. Hell I even am a father.

One day at a gathering, someone was telling a story to a group of our friends. I kept on interrupting her and telling her ” come on, don’t exaggerate” . And was being very loud and interruptive.  She paused, looked at me and told me, ” Who do you think you are ? ”

I didn’t have it in me to say ” I rock, I really rock. It’s all your fault, shut up and continue your BS story. ”

I went back home at around 3 am. My partner told me “it’s over ” and left the house. She was already packed, I didn’t know I should help with the bags or just stare at her. So I just carried the baby while she carried her bags down the stairs. I figured it was the least I could do.

I came back up home and said,  ” Why is she doing this to me? “. I remembered the question I was asked right before coming home. I still didn’t have it in me to even say I rocked.

I finally told my self ” It’s me” .  I am responsible for whatever happens to me and how I react to it too. I’ve mentioned this before in a previous post. But I’ll type it again, getting offended is an emotion, how you react to the offense is education.

I don’t want to blame anyone or anything for my situation. I don’t want to be a victim.

I don’t want to be an angel.

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The verse that always saves me

Before you continue reading. If you’re not spiritual/religious or feel the need to blow up a certain sect/religion then this post isn’t for you. Or if you’re the type that just believe in your religion and no one else’s then this post also isn’t for you. Not hating. Just saving you the trouble. We are all free to pursue whatever we will.

I usually don’t..actually I never write about religion or spirituality. I try to stay away from certain topics and religion is one of them. But this was just too good to keep myself and I’m the type that likes to share my happiness and life with others. In the hope that it could maybe just help one person . And that’s good enough for me.

Now, before I go on. I by no means am standing on a pedestal and think of myself as a higher authority or a holier than thou kind of dude. I have my struggles and I like you, am still trying to figure out this whole life thing. It’s going pretty good.  I just want to be better and that is the daily grind.To be better. I think we’re all on the same page.

So heres my first ever post where I talk directly talk about religion, faith and God. The reason that I have decided to talk about it is as mentioned above, it has helped me and it may and just may help somebody else.

I try and be close to God and we all know how hard that it is in 2016. But I try. It’s something I revise a lot and always need improvement on. So anyways, as a practising muslim I read our holy book whenever I can, aka the Quran. And there’s a verse there that personally always helps me out. The verse is in Arabic, but it translates to “We surely belong to Allah and to Him we shall return.”  Allah meaning God. Now, how does this help me you ask?

The phrase is recited by Muslims when a person experiences a tragedy in life,especially upon hearing news that a person has died.The phrase may also be recited in situations that involve risk of any sort. So I took it up as a habit and started saying it when ever anything would happen to me. Minor or Major. And I cannot believe how it ALWAYS and I mean always saves me. It just gets me out of whatever kind of trouble I’m in.

The reason that I decided to write about it today after countless saves was because today was a pure miracle. Here’s the story: I have a set of locker keys that have access to my files at work. I always put these keys in my wallet for some stupid reason instead of my actual key chain where all the keys are. Today I get to work and open my wallet to take the keys and……” Nothing. The keys aren’t there. I start to panic. I think I have the only key to this drawer. And it would make me look very irresponsible at work. So what do I do?

I google “How to pick….” and it was like magic. It was like google was waiting for me to write that in because it filled the gap in for me. “How to pick a lock”.  I then said that magical/spiritual verse, took a deep breath and started picking the lock with two paper pins. After failing miserably and realising that I’m no good with locks I come to my senses and decide to tell my supervisor.

As I was going to his office I take out my wallet just to triple check and started shaking it down, and I KID YOU NOT , the key came flying out of there and slid right next to my supervisor’s door.  That to me is an act of God. A very clear one and it’s something I just feel like sharing. And that’s it.

Before ending this post I’d like to think that all of this comes with a package. Pray, fast, be good etc . I have to put in the effort in order to receive God’s help, that’s what I believe at least. But what I really believe? God is all merciful.

I just need to be better

 إِنَّا للهِ وَإِنَّـا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعونَ

Why you should be like Gustavo Fring ( and not end up like him )

gus

Don’t you just love that smile? 🙂

Gustavo Fring  was the respected proprietor of Los Pollos Hermanos, a highly successful fried chicken restaurant chain. He is an infamous character in Breaking Bad who ran the biggest meth super lab in the American southwest and died a brutal but great visual effects death.
Now why would anyone in their right minds want to be like our Chicken man Gus here!?

Let me tell you why…

  1. Gus is a hard worker. Gus started from nothing, he came from humble beginnings and worked his way into the meth business, first being a successful entrepreneur with his fried chicken chain. Gus had to hustle and work very hard to make it where he got. Be a hard working person, with no excuses. Be like Gus.
  2. Gus was is in it for the long term. Gus doesn’t think easy money NOW. That’s whats mainly wrong with a lot of mentalities today. Everyone wants to get rich NOW. Gus later immigrated to the United States and set up his network there with more Los Pollos Hermanos locations ( His fried chicken chain) . He also established a chemistry scholarship at the University of New Mexico in Max’s name ( His best friend who died a brutal death). Gus had to go through years of extensive research, long and careful planning to reach his goal. And he did it. Think long term, plan, strategise and execute. Be in it for the long run. Think 5-10 years. THINK. Be like Gus.
  3. He is a very careful man. Sure he ended up being a dead two face because of a few decisions he made. But it took him years and years, and if he used all of his amazing skills that he has acquired over the year and put it into something else who would have made it big as well. Or maybe got out sooner, who knows. But Gus was a  meticulous planner and was well versed and always had his guard up. Be careful, be prepared. YOLO right!?
  4. He did everybody favours. No one knew how effective, important and vital community was as much as Gus did. He emerged himself into the community and was very generous with the DEA. He was also in the board of a hospital, and ran many other small businesses that provided many jobs for the locals. He knew how it important it was to have it good with the community and that’s how he hid in plain sight. By giving, by helping and by being generous. Give more to the community, do favours for others. The power of community is priceless. You never know when someone can have your back when you most need it.
  5. Gus takes huge risks. And the returns were mostly MASSIVE. Gus took a huge risking when employing Walter and Jesse to work with him, but in return he got back millions more, managed to kill off all of the heads of the Cartel and well….it killed him in the end. But it started off great.

    While I write about Gus, I think about the discipline, the careful planning and his work ethic that he had to go through to be a Meth king. We can learn and use his traits to better ourselves, start doing more good ( to the community I mean ) and be the good that Gustavo could have been if he weren’t in the meth business.

    RIP Gustavo Fring

    It has been rumoured that he may be making an appearance in “Better call Saul” season 3. We may be seeing even more of the great Gustavo after all.

I end this with a quote from Gus: “Never make the same mistake twice ” .

The story about the little neglected girl

Born into a stressed out family, she never had a shot at normal. What’s normal?
Normal in a family is when you are given proper care, attention, and a voice.

This girl was born voiceless. She had a beautiful voice but never had the opportunity to use it. She was 6 when she first discovered her parent’s favour of her oldest brother over her.

She’s accepted her fate and loves her family no matter what. She was 9 when she learnt her parent’s would cave to violence, bad mouthing, and disrespect from her elder siblings. But she wasn’t brought up that way but she accepted her situation.

She was 10 when she learnt that her word would never be taken seriously and would be crushed by her siblings. She accepted her quality of kindness. ( After tears of ache )

She was 12 when she learnt that she’d have to fight to keep what’s hers. She never stood a chance. She’s accepted her quality generosity. She was 17 when she learnt that she’d have to choose a life partner that met her family’s requirements. She never had the choice in the first place.

She was 18 when she learnt that she’d never have the upper hand over her favoured brother. At 18 it was confirmed, from birth till she got there it was all doubts.

At 26 she learnt that she’d never had full control over her children’s life as long as she had her family around. She could never leave them her parents. They were her whole.

At 32 she first learnt that her father meant nothing to her after his death. She shed a tear of relief as everyone expressed their condolences. At 36 she knew her mother would fall dead from either a heart attack or one of the many diseases she had due to their lifestyle.

It was at 48 when she learnt that her kids would never show her the respect she showed her mother. She wasn’t as strong and passionate.

It was at 52 where she thought that it was courage that she had when she went all out.

There were no more years after that. Just memories, tears and heart ache.

How and why to be like Forrest Gump

My momma always said, “Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” Its been 22 years since that quote has become a legendary one.

I’ve always wanted to write about fictional characters that inspire me to be better. Then I thought, wait! I have a blog, I can write about whatever I want right! Yes I can. 

I will start writing more and more about fictional characters and how we can learn from them without really being them. First on the list: Forrest Gump.

How to be like him:

  1. Always do what you need to do without thinking about anything else. You have a task to complete? Then do it. You need to write an assignment? Do it. Do not stall. Forrest Gump always did what he had to do and he never let distraction get in the way of his business. Even though he wasn’t that bright. His commitment to excellence is what made him stand out.  So just do it.“You have to do the best with what God gave you.” – Mrs. Gumpyes drill
  2. Don’t overthink life. Forrest lived his life in the best way he knew how and didn’t worry himself with the little details. He only asked his mother once and that was that, he just lived life doing the best he can what he had, always giving it a 100%. Whether it was relationships, work or education.
    Forrest: What’s my destiny, Mama?
    Mrs. Gump: You’re gonna have to figure that out for yourself.
  3. Be loyal. Forrest was one of the most loyal people you’d ever meet. He cherished friendships and you always knew that he would have your back, even when you have bad days and treat him like dirt ( Like jenny who was practically  having nothing but bad days ) he’ll understand, give you your space and will be there for you when you need him the most. Or like when he went back for his best friend during the war even though his sergeant ordered him not to and there were bombs flying all over the place. He went back anways.Be as loyal as Forrest. That’s a new quote for you
  4. Always look at the bright side of everything. And I mean everything. No matter how bad you think things are, there’s always something positive to be said. Reminds me of the time it rained for 4 months straight in Vietnam while they were in the war, all he had to say was: “One day it started raining, and it didn’t quit for four months. We been through every kind of rain there is. Little bitty stingin’ rain… and big ol’ fat rain. Rain that flew in sideways. And sometimes rain even seemed to come straight up from underneath. Shoot, it even rained at night…”
  5. Keep your promises. Forrest was big on keeping promises. After his best friend and him discussed about getting into the shrimping business after the war was over and then his friend ended up dying in battle. He opened up a  business anyways, even though he had no idea about the shrimping business. He went ahead and did it anyways. Which takes us back to point 1.
  6. And last but not least RUN. I don’t think any runner doesn’t know the quote “Run Forrest, Run”. Forrest was an avid runner and did it for no particular reason. He just ran because he could and because he enjoyed it. Here’s Forrest take on running all over America. “That day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run. So I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d run to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d just run across Greenbow County. And I figured, since I run this far, maybe I’d just run across the great state of Alabama. And that’s what I did. I ran clear across Alabama. For no particular reason I just kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean. And when I got there, I figured, since I’d gone this far, I might as well turn around, just keep on going. When I got to another ocean, I figured, since I’d gone this far, I might as well just turn back, keep right on going.” – Forrest

Why be like Forrest? 

Because he is at peace. He is productive and he is lovable. He may not be the brightest, but he knows what love is. Be just a little like Forrest and you’ll be better for it .

Don’t be your normal self.
“What’s normal anyways?”-Forrest

The man in the suit

He went to one of his motivational anonymous meetings. He wore the suit and had a long history of attending those meetings.

As he walked out of the door, he took out his phone and turned it off. The meeting was about disconnecting from the world. Disconnecting from distraction and disconnecting from connecting without a real connection.

He went by his day like any other day without the stress and mental distraction he usually had with always checking his phone. He was at peace. Every time he’d go to these meeting and actually listened and took the advice he’d feel great.

His secretary tells him that he has a family member on the line, he tells him no calls for me today.

His mother’s in the hospital and they couldn’t reach him. His secretary tells him it’s an emergency. He rushes to the hospital and she’s already gone. He sobs and sobs. ” Why did I have to turn my phone off?? WHY?”

He goes to the funeral the next day. Phone still off. He watches them take his mother away. He sees a smile on her face, and she looks at him and tells him “You did the right thing. You are at peace now. There’s nothing you could have done”.  She then puts her head back and relaxes it on the cloth as they wrap her up in a white sheet.

They dig and dig and dig. He throws in his phone with her. People stare at him and he looks back at them in silence. They continue burying her as if nothing happened.

He is at peace now.

His mother died while he was at peace.

He has accepted the lack of power of this specific situation. He then goes about his day with all the power that he has.

All powerless and all powerful.

Don’t count your blessings ( Not that you do anyways )

Count your blessings said the wise man. Always be grateful.

I am always grateful for a lot of the things I have in my life ( or try to be ). But is it realistic?
It wasn’t for me.

Every day I wake up I had to tell myself.

I am grateful for this house
I am grateful for this laptop
I am grateful for the box of bananas that keep me sugared up as nature intended
I am grateful for….

It kind of helped. But I wasn’t really feeling it.

I then found a way to appreciate even more the things and relationships I have in my life.

I made a Things you take for granted list.

I noted down:

  1. My job.  I seem to think that I’m invisible at times and feel like I can take it for granted and thats not good. As I write this I feel even worse. It’s working
  2. My health: I recently have been taking my health for granted thinking that food and a little bit of exercise would do the trick. I have been under sleeping and over working my body and that’s not good. I have had a hoarse voice for a week now. It’s still hoarse. Hear me talk  or not. 
  3. My wife. I sometimes forget how good I have it that I stop putting in effort. And a simple example of me taking her for granted is leaving the house a mess. We don’t have a house keeper so it’s just us that have to keep the house neat and tidy. She has a full time a job, a baby to take care of and me to deal with.
  4. God. Others call him the universe, Allah, life, Zeus? ( or was that just Hercules), Karma, Buddha …. But God to me is the one God.  The All-Compassionate,  The All-Merciful,  The Pure One, The Source of Peace, the Guardian, The Victorious, The Greatest and The forgiver. I take my life for granted sometimes and think It’s all about me. It’s not. Yes, its about me but what about me? What am I doing to be a better me.

I’ll stop here on my ungratefulness. It’s petty and sad and you get the point.Now that I have brought myself to shame. I will look at the list and do one or two things better. And that will change my whole day. I’ll be a better person for it. When ever I feel like I’m on cloud 9 I think of the things I’m ungrateful for and that brings me back down.

So my question to you is: What are you ungrateful for?  Who do you take for granted? What’s your shameful list?  Minimise that list today. Tomorrow make a new list.

What most people don’t understand

I was having a conversation with my grandmother the other day, and she was telling me that when I was my daughter’s age she’d fed me everything from fish to that biscuit they call food.

I was  a fat kid.

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I turned out fine though, I overcame my weight issues when I was in junior high. I remember very clearly first thinking about my weight in junior high when I was in the shower. I looked at my stomach and felt like it stood out. I was not comfortable with that.

Almost everyday after school I’d secretly go to my room and start jumping around, did push ups and worked out vigorously until I made sure that my belly was aligned with the rest of my body. It bothered me but I never spoke about it.

My father was a smoker when I was growing up. He stopped right around I was 13-14. But I turned out fine. A friend of mine in high school ended up getting some lung disease that affected her breathing and voice. I remember this very clearly. Her whole household were smokers and that’s how she got sick. I hope she’s fine now though. We are not in touch anymore.

I grew up eating everything that was edible almost until the age of 21. At that age I began to make better dietary choices ( that did not sit very well at home ) . Now I’d say that my choices are top notch. A close friend of mine on the other hand grew up eating the same foods as I did. He is suffering with weight loss issues and has somewhat of a food addiction issues and he’s having great difficulty overcoming.

I was never really into speeding while driving. A few of my friends were. Everyone who does it seemed to be fine. I lost 4 friends already. I wonder how their parents feel now a few years later.

My mother in law smokes like a chimney. I wish she wouldn’t. She says that all of her family smokes and nothing has ever happened to them. I lost my grandfather in his late 50’s and an uncle in his thirties to smoking. Oh, and her mom died in her 50’s. She was overweight and a heavy smoker but they’re not sure how she died.

Just because we/others did something wrong in the past and we turned out fine. That doesn’t mean we should repeat it, pass it on to others or use that as a pedestal to continue living life. We have had the pleasure of being blessed and guarded by a lot of bad things that we have done in our past and continue to do as bad habits.

Let’s not be naive stubborn and close minded to the fact that those habits and mindsets can really hurt us/others and maybe even get us killed.

What’s that? You say you never wore a seat belt and you’re still alive. Oh! so it’s useless then I suppose. Don’t be that hard head and be grateful that you have made it this far without injury because that would have crushed you and you then would have been a burden to those you love.

Just because we have been guarded ( for now ) that doesn’t mean a time won’t come where we pay for our actions dearly. Stay aware and stay safe.

Fasten your seat belt
Drink enough everyday
Make healthy dietary choices
Wash your hands before meals
Brush your teeth twice a day
Exercise
Act as of this precious life means something to you
Be a role model
Be an inspiration
Be a ray of bright light to others
Be open to the fact that you may just get hurt after so much error.
Be aware
Stay educated
Look around you.

If you’re reading this. I need you for the long haul. I don’t get that many views just yet. Every soul counts.

Why do people get offended easily?

 

I walked in to the bathroom. Headed towards the basin and there was a guy there using one of three taps. HIs tap was running on full force as he washed his face. He then took a look at the mirror while the water was running at full force.

I look at him and tell him, “will you keep that running?”. He looks at me in slight disgust like he’s thinking “what the hell is your problem?” .  He turns it down but it’s still open while he looks at himself. I just walked out. I don’t know if he did get offended by what I told him but this topic came to mind. So why do people get easily offended. That was one of the toughest questions I had asked myself. I had to actually think about it for long. Then I went around asking a bunch of people. I had to know why are we sometimes offended for the slightest things we’re told. Here are some instances that I remember when people got offensive when I told them:

  1. don’t waste water like that
  2. I eat 20 bananas for breakfast,
  3. I’m not going to your birthday party ( but I still love you),
  4. I’m going to feed my family a plant based diet ( lol, this one really gets to people. I’m still figuring that one out),
  5. I don’t agree with you,
  6. I like that movie,
  7. I think X is a great person,
  8. I’m thinking of doing…..,
  9. making jokes about death ( it can be funny, I mean it is a part of life. So we might as well laugh about it),
  10. Modern feminism,
  11. Me being homophobic ( Whoops! I must be secretly gay then ha! I remember a dinner I was having with a cousin of mine and she was really getting very defensive about that. oh well.)
  12. Playing Christmas music around those who don’t celebrate Christmas.
  13. telling others to calm down
  14. Donald trumps hair
  15. smiling ( yes smiling, sometimes when I smile to random people I get the dirtiest looks)
  16. oh and vegans ( type in I hate vegans and you’ll get over one million results.
  17. Health care ( some people I’ve spoken to really hate to hear that big Pharma isn’t as dreamy as they think. And no matter what you do, please don’t mention the dangers of vaccines. Swear at their moms but not the vaccine please)
  18. Telling parents their kids are weak in a certain area and they need to look into it.(Sorry)

People are offended by the tiniest thing these days, because it’s become acceptable to be offended by something has the potential to offend something else. This is madness (although I’d better not use that word, in case I offend people who are genuinely mad).

I have a great story to tell about an acquaintance I know who used to work in a private school

Each year, she would meet up with a group of the other teachers to discuss all the students  in the school and their annual prize-giving ceremony. It’s a traditional in this sort of school: to celebrate achievement in a big end-of-year party.

Except the purpose of this meeting was to go through the list of every pupil and decide on a prize that could be given to each one. In other words, every child gets a prize – and that prize is invented around the child.

When she questioned why such a stupid process existed, she was told that because this was a private school where parents paid to send their children, there existed an expectation that the child would win a prize.

And therein lies the problem. Everyone thinks that they are special. Everyone thinks that they are above criticism. And everyone interprets everything as a reason to be insulted, defamed or offended, because it gives them the oxygen of publicity.

We are too easily offended as a society. We need to get over it, because it’s becoming really, really boring.

I was once talking to a principal of a school and told her how pointless I think it is that 3rd graders are now graduating from their class. And laughed about it really hard for a while and when I opened my eyes after all the tears of laughter had fallen to look at her she wasn’t pleased at all with what I said and since then she’s treated me differently. Ouch.

Another reason someone gets offended a lot could be that the person is not used to their view being challenged.  They may have some sort of empowerment that allows them to feel like they can get offended at whatever they please.

I’ll cut this short.

Getting offended is an emotion, how you react to the offense is education.

louis

 

 

When is the day most wasted?

I figured if I were going to lay around and do nothing then I might as well not waste the day.

I went over to a friends place and we started laughing at regular conversations. I then called another friend and we laughed as well. I put on some stand up comedy and laughed some more.

I then called my wife who was hard at work and told her how I’ve been doing nothing productive at all, then we both laughed.

I’ve never felt this good at doing nothing at all. I then decided to do a little Googling to determine the real benefits of laughter—beyond my highly scientific analysis: “It feels good.” Here’s what I found:

  • Laughter reduces the level of stress hormones in our bodies.
  • Laughter provides both a physical and emotional release.
  • Laughter can be a good workout for your abs, diaphragm, and shoulders.
  • Laughter leaves you feeling more relaxed.
  • Laughter brings the focus away from negative emotions.
  • Laughter can give us a more positive outlook on a situation.
  • Laughter connects us with others.

I was always a good laugher. Ever since I was young I’d laugh at literally anything. It would even sometimes get me in trouble at how hard I’d laugh at literally nothing. Heck, I’m even laughing now.

Whenever I laugh the most I feel better by the end of the day. No matter what. I always try to throw in a joke in a serious situation. Many people don’t appreciate that ( my wife included) but I don’t see why. Did anyone die? That’s all that matters really. Is everyone okay? Yes?  Then laugh or else I’ll tickle you to death. I always wondered if you could die by being tickled. My mom once told when I was little that a gang ganged up on this local boy and tickled him to death. Don’t know how true that story is, but that’s some way to go.

As I type this now I now get flashbacks of how I’d make may brother laugh by tickling him every time I’d make him cry and didn’t want my parents to find out. He’d push me away just so he’d continue crying so I could get in trouble. By the time my mom would arrive, he’d be laughing and crying at the same time it would be confusing, so my mom would just laugh at him and tell him “Come on, you’re fine” and walk away. Laughter has saved me from way too many spanks.

Laugh daily. You’ll feel better.

Next time you’re feeling down or, hell, even when you’re not feeling down. Try out some of these tips to get your laugh on.

  • Look in the mirror and make silly faces (yes, this works).
  • Turn almost the your worse experience into one big joke ( unless its rape of course)
  • Ask yourself, “How is this situation funny?” when you’re upset.
  • Hang out with funny friends. You know who they are.
  • Hang out with me. You’ll be either laughing with me or walk away quickly and end up laughing at me. I’m just glad I made you laugh
  • Read a funny book. Funny books never fail to make me laugh, a nice non fiction comedy at the back of my head would be ” Delivering happiness”.  Laughed so much
  • Watch some stand up comedy Definitely not for everyone)
  • Fake it. Just laugh man

I’m laughing right now and feel great about it.

laugh 2

Here’s one last quote I’d like to leave you with : ” A day without laughter, is a day wasted”