Don’t be an angel

I cried and yelled to my partner telling them how unfair they were being. I cried and yelled to my friends about not being good friends in my time of need.

When I had no one to turn to I then cried to the universe about how unfair it was to me.

Why me? A question we all ask ourselves. Why is my life so hard?  Why is my partner doing this to me? Why don’t I have a job?  Why don’t I get enough attention? Why Why why why Why why?

And then it hit me. ” I was too good for all this “. 

I rocked. I really rocked. All of this shouldn’t have been happening to me. I’m a good cool lad. I have charisma. I can run pretty well. That should count as something. Hell I even am a father.

One day at a gathering, someone was telling a story to a group of our friends. I kept on interrupting her and telling her ” come on, don’t exaggerate” . And was being very loud and interruptive.  She paused, looked at me and told me, ” Who do you think you are ? ”

I didn’t have it in me to say ” I rock, I really rock. It’s all your fault, shut up and continue your BS story. ”

I went back home at around 3 am. My partner told me “it’s over ” and left the house. She was already packed, I didn’t know I should help with the bags or just stare at her. So I just carried the baby while she carried her bags down the stairs. I figured it was the least I could do.

I came back up home and said,  ” Why is she doing this to me? “. I remembered the question I was asked right before coming home. I still didn’t have it in me to even say I rocked.

I finally told my self ” It’s me” .  I am responsible for whatever happens to me and how I react to it too. I’ve mentioned this before in a previous post. But I’ll type it again, getting offended is an emotion, how you react to the offense is education.

I don’t want to blame anyone or anything for my situation. I don’t want to be a victim.

I don’t want to be an angel.

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