Sucking less

So after that bathroom trip you now feel better. You almost always feel better after a bathroom trip. Almost being the keyword. But 90% of the time you just feel fantastic afterwards.

But now what. Usually after a great bathroom trip you feel useless and fulfilled. Now you just want to lay there and be tightly covered in covers. You just don’t have it in you to do something new. I know I don’t a lot of the time. Here’s what I do though sometimes. Sometimes being the key word. I take a step. One step.

Yesterday I dusted my Nintendo 64 and started  playing Golden eye and Supermario 64. I remember at one point I was so good at those games that I’d turn it off because it was painful to see how I memorised all of the in and outs. It was like I had a hand in creating the games. Fast forward 18 years later and I have no clue what I’m doing in Goldeneye. I suck at being James Bond and I feel bad for the guy .bond

Today I played it again and I had a little bit of more control. Bond was making an impression again. I bet if I play again tomorrow I’ll even be able to say Natalya ( inside joke)

If I continue playing everyday say for the next week I’m sure I’ll catch up and be half as good as I was 18 years ago. I am sucking less now. Every time I take a second step. I’m better. I suck less and I smile.

I do it till there is no sucking involved. Today I’ll work a little more on Goldeneye and see where it takes me.

I always tell myself, ” please suck less. It’s okay. Suck and smile, for one day the tongue will no longer be needed as you’ll have moved up to…….

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I really need to go to the bathroom

It is now 7:59 am.

The baby’s asleep and I really need to go to the bathroom. But I have multiple things stoping me.

  1. The noise I may make that’ll wake the baby up
  2. The comfort of my bed
  3. My train of thought may be interrupted

Looks like I won’t be getting up for a while so I might as well continue writing.

This feels a bit foreign but I won’t make it stop me from writing. Here’s the thing with taking a break from something you love and want to improve on. You suck at it again for a while. And I mean everything. Everything from sports to writing. Ask any consistent runner how their run feels after coming back from a 2 week vacation. Horrible!

So this is me sucking at writing. I don’t even know if I was ever any good. Ok, I was kind of good.
But I’m giving myself permission to suck. Permission to try. Permission to take that step and permission to express.

What are two things that hold us back? The two main things that hold us back from being better versions of ourselves.

1.FEAR: I wanted to learn how to skateboard a while ago, but was reluctant due to it being dangerous and the weather and and and and ….A little fear kicked in. I also wanted to travel all over the gulf and make a video about it. That’s not a scary thought but it’s scary spending all of that money at times like these.

2. LAZINESS: After I overcame my fear of learning how to skateboard I never bothered looking into buying one. I mean I did ask a friend about where I could buy one but that was about it. I didn’t follow up. I got lazy. I faced my fear but did nothing about it.
I later figured I’d ask companies to pay me to travel and in return I’ll make them an ad. I overcame that fear. One company I approached liked the idea. It just needed 2-3 other videos from me until they could “ok” that one. I beat that fear and still didn’t work on any video for them yet.

Today morning after doing some reading I began to think about my life and how fortunate I am to be alive and living in this part of the world, surrounded with people I love and living a comfortable lifestyle. I then beat laziness. I beat fear as well. Opened this page, said to myself ” Hady, you are going to suck at this post. So do it now and suck less the second time.

Now I really have to go to the bathroom.

bathroom