Someone somewhere, but unknown!

Somewhere, sometime ago a very influential person said to himself “Hey, I should do it this way”.

Somewhere else ( or maybe even the same place ) a rich person who was liked by a lot of people ( probably hated as much ) who owned half a country did things a certain way.

On another day he got together with his friends and decided to cook a meal a certain way. The whole tribe he was with liked it ( or were just suck ups) and then every time they’d meet they’d cook the certain dish in a certain way. And that was that. The tribe then decided this was the best and ONLY way to cook this dish.

One fine day some lawyer in the 17th century I think decided to get rid of his lice infestation, so he shaved his head completely. Being quite wealthy, he bought a wig. He kind of liked how it looked so he decided to wear it everyday. And suddenly his friends loved it too. Since they could afford it, they all decided to buy a bunch of them and that was when it became a status symbol that only the rich and educated could afford.

I remember I had a driving test in 2008. My first one ( I failed it 3 times ). So I went with shorts on. I have never worn shorts to driving school but for some reason wore one on test day. As I entered the officer told me you can’t enter like that. As I look beside me a woman wearing a shorter skirt than my short and was ready to go. I asked him, what about her? He told me “shorts are not allowed”. I also think that for this specific law  a group of suit/thobe wearing men had a nice chat while having tea, and one of them suddenly stood up and yelled “Men shall not wear shorts. But skirts….” Silence”…….Women shall wear”. Everyone else staring at him and they all yell “YEAHHHHHH”. NO SHORTS  NO SHORTS  NO SHORTS  NO SHORTS. ONLY SKIRTS  ONLY SKIRTS ONLY SKIRTS ONLY SKIRTS ONLY SKIRTS .

And that was that.

My point is this. For cultures to cultivate, someone had to have started doing it first. Someone with power, money and influence. You see, it’s almost never the poor or the middle class that will come up with a trend or a new habit that millions will follow blindly. Who are these people and why should we follow them? And why is only that considered correct? So many questions. But again, my point is that someone somewhere out there had to start doing something and we simply followed. I do not tend to live this way.

This post was inspired by something I read on one of my buddy’s Facebook post. I read it and it just got me thinking. Here’s what he wrote, ” What if I told you that you aren’t the one who adapts to the environment; you change it.”

What if?  What if you simply have a better way? A better alternative? A better solution. What if I told you THIS isn’t the ONLY way.

What if I told you: ” You don’t know why or what you’re doing? ”

What if I told you that, you could think a little for yourself. How would that make you feel?

It’s a scary thought I know, but once you hold on to it for a little while, you’ll feel liberated and you will be criticised to death.

God speed my readers. God speed.

Advertisements

Do I have to agree with you?

They looked me in the eye and told me. ” You’re wrong”.

I’ve finally given up and caved. I said “okay”

You’re right. But I’m not going to do it. They still didn’t like that. I remember living most of my life having to agree with the status quo. I just agreed with it. I didn’t really think much about it. I just happened to say “yes” or ” no” when it was required of me ( Rarely, but I tried )

But now I say NO. I don’t think you’re right but let’s agree on that. It’s just not that easy. When I think of disagreeing with somebody I always think of myself first. Would I want someone meddling in my affairs and telling how to run things? . So I simply back off. I just listen and listen and then I listen some more.

It’s very interesting when you sit back and actually hear the whole story versus attacking per paragraph. At times it mind boggles me what the other person even has to say. I just sit there in “awe”. Thinking “really? WOW, I can’t even give you anything” . However, there are those times where you really listen, put yourself in their shoes and really dig deep into what they’re saying. You my not agree with it but you get it and you have to let them walk their walk.

After all, we all feel differently, we all have different needs, likes and dislikes. We are not all on the same journey. Whatever I think works for me may not even comprehended by the other party. The simplest example could be dietary lifestyle. A lot of people in this community cannot even fathom what it means to eat the way I do. Extreme? Not to me, but to others it is. On the other hand I may think that a finishing a pack of cigarettes a day or eating food like substances are extreme. But to others it’s not.

agree

That’s when I learnt to judge less and keep to myself. I don’t need anyone shoving opinions down my throats ( especially when they think they have the ultimate solution and its their way or the highway)

The other day I was having a conversion with someone and they told me how food must be only cooked and eaten a certain way. Any other way would be  blasphemous . You see this person grew up in a place where other food varieties weren’t options like we do. They don’t have Chinese, Italian, Mexican food options. All they know is the food they have. So telling someone who has eaten the same meal, the same way for 40+ years to try it in a different way is complete insanity. You just can’t disagree with them, so you treat them gently and let them cook the only sacred way they know.

We are blessed with the internet and I am blessed with living in such a multi cultural country where I meet people from different walks of life. I try and use it to my advantage. It’s very tiring walking around thinking ” Oh, poor him. How pathetic. I feel sorry for.. If they only knew how life would could be better etc.” It’s too much to carry around in my brain. I need to empty space for better brain waves to come.

My opinion is that having an open mind, being accepting of others, trying to put your self in someone else’s could be the healthiest thing you can do for yourself and your community as a whole.But who am I to say, you can disagree with me.

The evolution of words

I remember back in the day when words we all commonly use now were banned from using at home or were considered offensive.

With time some words have evolved into almost everyday words that would be used in today’s context. Now let me start with words that I remember using  that weren’t offensive and are now offensive.

I remember as an innocent little boy in school I learnt that “ass” meant donkey. Now ass means your rear end apparently. Also, dick is a name. Specifically one character in our school’s book was named Dick and every time anyone would say it I’d have to grin. Even if I didn’t want to but if felt like I had to. ” Dick woke up early morning”  *grins* ” and went to the store” . ” When Dick found out that..” * Grins again *

But now to get down to the slightly technical part.

Words have its ways of evolving. Mostly to the worse. It evolves when enough of us decide ‘cool’ means ‘hot,’  that’s when change happens.

Here are just a few words that have been abused.

Literally: literally sucker punched Leena and ripped out her heart when she misused the word literallyLiterally!!!

Hyperbolic use of the word literally is becoming an accepted practice (just ask Merriam-Webster, who seems to be going soft, if you ask me)

Like: And she was like, wow. I like that. Another fail. I just use it to get me out of a stutter, can’t imagine why it’s common for ordinary people. Like I just don’t get it.

Unique: That guy I met the other is “kind of unique”. The word unique isn’t so unique anymore. It used to be an absolute which meant one of a kind. But in the 1800’s its meaning became diluted as people started to use it to mean unusual or uncommon. And to make matters worse, they started adding modifiers such as prettysomewhat, and kind of. How can something be kind ofunique? You can’t kind of be one of a kind. Either you is or you ain’t.

Those are just some of the words that hit me as I typed this.

Words change, they modify ( mostly to the worse) and we have to adapt to this millennial of lazy slang words

Peace OUT yo!

I’ve fallen behind

So I committed to a 90 day streak. Which I’m obviously behind. Very behind.

How do I feel about that?

Not very apologetic Actually not apologetic at all.

I set a goal and I didn’t reach it. Sure I don’t feel great about it. But it’s definitely not stopping me from writing. Nothing will.

I may have some bad days but what matters is that I keep going. Just keep pushing. Keep failing . I’m so glad that I failed. I wanna fail more. I think I have started to fail on a daily basis. Way more than I used to. Before I’d fail every once in a while but now it seems like I’m failing way more than I’m succeeding. And it’s a good place to be at.

Today I went to deliver an order to a friend who’s also on customer and we talked for a bit. He’s a pretty successful dude. He told me something that stuck with me all day today. ” You’ll get there, you just have to fail so many times before you make it. So keep failing and you’ll get there”.

I’ve been doing that on default already. And it’s HARD . It’s HARD. It’s painful. But it’s a relief as well. To not follow the status quo. To fail on your own terms.

It’s still hard . But here are a few things that make me feel better ( In no particular order)

  1. Being outside ( That almost instantly helps)
  2. Being present and quiet. There’s almost a holy feeling about that
  3. Exercise. When I’m in a hole, it must be rigorous as hell.
  4. Writing
  5. Playing with my baby.
  6. Turning off social media
  7. Reading
  8. Watching a movie.

But those things aren’t easy to do when you’re in a hole. I, at times don’t even find the time to do 6 or 7 of things on this list.

That even becomes a struggle.

But I’ll keep writing and the streak goes on. On the 3rd of November I shall share with you my results

Keep doing things you love, regardless of the situation.

Keep pushing the envelope.

I just got off my period

I’m male.

I’m 5’11”

I’ve past my age of puberty ( I think this is as far as it goes , not too sure about that).

I bleed. Don’t we all bleed. Well..unless you’re

bleed

Apart from him, I think we all pretty much bleed!

I didn’t bleed in that area. so take a chill pill. All I’m doing here is stating facts. Almost every month I kid you not, or every other month. I get into this phase for a couple of days, maybe even a week or two when it’s really bad.

I’m a pretty happy dude overall. I mean, I do mostly work I love, surrounded by people I love and make time for other stuff I love. ” So what’s with the mood swings you little *****” That’s just me talking to myself out loud.

After several of those phases, instead of just giving completely into them and being sucked into my unknown misery. I looked around me. I looked at men I know. I saw if there were any mood swings I’ve noticed. To my luck, some of them had it pretty bad.

One of my ex bosses, is the moodiest people I know. 5 days a week he’d come in with a long face to work, being irrational and just being a complete power trip douche bag. And around once a week he’d show up with smiles, compliments. It was scary. After seeing the other him, you’d think he’s on blue crystal.

Then I began to notice more men and how they all had mood swings. Most more then women. So this is what we go through: Irritable Male Syndrome (IMS). It’s official. We have man periods.You see now why men can be little whiney babies.

They even made a study and some of the men described themselves as suffering from man periods would spend an extra £81.53 a month (about $124.72) on purchases to satisfy their food cravings than men who do not.

IMS is characterized by depression, anger, fatigue, moodiness, anxiety, lethargy, low libido, and confusion, which “can wreak havoc with a man’s closest relationships.” BOM BOM BOM

I was going to end it with ” So ladies, have mercy at times”. But could you imagine the kind of reaction they’d get? Now they also have to deal with us having our periods?
I mean if I were a woman I’d probably tell the dude writing this article to please grow some b***

The End

 

Let me tell you a story

In one of my classes, I decided to change things up a little. So I told them to continue each other’s sentences. You know. To make an interesting story. Now this story makes no sense and has no value in it really But It was odd. I just felt like sharing.

John woke up.His friend Ahmed came over. They went to the gym. They exercised together. Then John left the gym ( without Ahmed apparently) because Ahmed would have wreaked. So John went home to have a shower. He later came back to pick Ahmed up. Since Ahmed wreaked of sweat, they drove with the windows open.

They crashed because John lost focus. They then went to the hospital and the doctor asked them for their symptoms.

Just think or just move?

I know this girl. She’s a big liar. Not in a bad way. Just in the sense that she doesn’t believe in herself or she doesn’t want to share any of her efforts with anyone else. Not a problem. Just a personal thing. Every class we had I’d ask her if she prepared? She’d answer ” NO! I don’t know what I’m going to do….etc etc” By the end of the class I’d see that she not only prepared but even thought of each and every thing that may or may not happen.

I remember last year’s Ironman where I had done nearly ZERO training for the event but thought that I could finish it and finish it well as well. I failed miserably. I tried to enhance myself using some sort of supplements and that just killed it for me. I thought I could do it though.

I remember years ago when I was thinking of starting my smoothie business. I made a few smoothie samples and started giving it out. That set me in motion. From that sep itself, things began to manifest on its own. Not by thinking about it but by taking that first step.

I remember running every morning when I was in university. I would run just to stay fit and nothing else. I then heard of the Bahrain Road Runners  and signed up for a race. I really just want to take part and finish a running race really.

won

YEAH I WON A CUP. I had no idea I had it in me to even finish. Now here’s what I had in mind. I though I may not finish. I thought I’ll DNF. I was just happy to be able to make it to the finish line. But I didn’t I won. You see where my mind was and where was I? Two opposites. Who won though?

The general rule is: show don’t tell. In real life, we call this: walking the walk, not just talking the talk. Just as writing the part can be challenging, so is living the part. It requires fortitude. This is known as “character development.”

Saying, “Let’s do lunch,” ostensibly means there will be no lunch. The gesture has been made and in making the gesture, the act of actually having lunch together is moot. The power has been diminished, so why even bother? That’s what makes clichés, when they are often said but seldom acted upon. We know not to take these things seriously and that’s because empty vessels make the loudest noises.

Now that doesn’t mean we don’t have to announce our goals and ambitions to others. Sometimes that’s the one thing that keep us honest and on track. Cause we put it out there, some people hold us accountable and some of us need that. But the whole romantic idea where you are what you think, I think is very misleading and quite frankly destructive and lazy. Thoughts are definitely important, but what are they without implementation? Merely hallucinations.

Action expresses priorities. I read that somewhere. Don’t remember where. But it’s true. Ever since I’ve switched to an action mindset, things have began manifesting and it’s been  beautiful. That’s my experience at least.

What do you think though?

 

The choice

I either write this post or scroll around my phone not really being useful.

Everyday I wake up, I get out of bed. Then get dressed according to what I have to do. I either get ready for work, or put on some shorts to exercise or stay how I was and sleep in a little more. Those are 3 options right there. Three choices right when you wake up in the morning.

After that I go into the kitchen. Blessed to have a kitchen full of fruit, hummus, peanut butter, bread, oatmeal and a blender. I then have to decided whether its oatmeal, raw fruits or a smoothie. Or maybe a pb sandwich. Maybe a  hummus wrap. Choices.

I then get into my car and then have the choice of driving quietly, making a phone call, listen to a podcast/radio/music or dangerously look through my social media while I drive. Choices.

Then I get to work and I have the choice to either get down to work, talk with colleagues, procastrinate doing useless stuff. Choices.

Then I have a lunch break where I get to decided to either eat rice, okra, salads, beans, or rice, lentils, peas and hummus. Choices

Then I have half an hour to think about new upcoming projects, look up new leads, waste my time looking at Instagram photos or post an epic photo myself. Choices

Today while working out. I had the choice of either doing the whole hour or stop at 23 mins and declare ” too tired to push”. I pushed through and that had me going with a smile all day for the rest of the day. Just had to put that out there. :). Choices

I now had a choice to either continue this post or continue watching Narcos. I am faced with choices almost every minute of everyday. And it’s amazing. Every choice we make determines how our day will turn out like. I always prefer to choose wisely and when I do I call it ” The choice”.

Making choices every couple of minutes is hard but it’s an art and if learnt well, oh are we in for a heck of a life.

CHOICES

 

That lady’s dream..

We all spoke about dreams and future goals. But one of the lady’s told me ” Honestly, I have dreams only but no goals.”  I asked what do you mean?  ” Well, she said: I dream that I win the lottery. Then buy a big building, and then live off the rent. That’s all I want”.

This other guy quickly spoke and said that dream is the dream of half of the population here. Everyone wants to buy a building and live off it. I asked her about her plan B, in case that didn’t happen. She had nothing. Now, this isn’t new to me. I’ve heard this plenty of times here in the gulf. I just never understood it. WHY? HOW?

You see I never grew up having a maid, and for that I’m grateful. Maybe it’s how you’re brought up? But it wasn’t enough for me. Why are you all so lazy? How did you make it here? How did fashion, gossip and doing your nails sustain your brain.

So I asked more people and did a little more digging. You see, before all the women, girls, sisters, daughters, aunts, etc pitched in to help with the household duties. Girls got into the kitchens with their mothers and both spent socializing chatting about their day and baking, kneading bread, etc.. The mothers taught their daughters how to cook, clean, do household stuff, they helped baby sit siblings, daycare was unheard of, you normally had an older sister, cousin, aunt, granma that was more than willing to babysit for you..
This age of oil during the late 50’s and 60’s made a crop of spoiled parents that now give their children everything they didnt have.I know and have some girl friends that have now, never set a toe into a kitchen. they wouldnt even know how to boil water. Much less run an oven or stove.All they can do is paint their nails, discuss fashions, shop for more clothing, etc..
Yes some do get more educated, but this is book knowledge, they still dont know their way about the house. With a marriage proposal and high dowry ( greedy girls/parents ) they want houses, maids, drivers, cooks, nannies all guaranteed prior to saying “I DO”.

Here’s what’s unbelievable. Not having a maid is looked down upon. You’ll see some young couples who I know are struggling to make ends meet, but they have that maid/nanny in toe behind them. The parents dont even want to hold the child, even push them in the stroller, its beneath them.

And let’s not even mention the travelling part. It’s a cultural thing here to travel and leave your kid behind for months ( at times ) with the nanny ( At the parent’s place of course, but their with the Nanny really) . Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think travelling with your loved one is wrong, just as long as the kid is in safe responsible hands. Not the maids!! And not for over 2 weeks!! This isn’t just a woman thing of course. The male issue here is a whole post on it’s own. I’ll just focus on women for now since I already started there.

I actually know of a real person, who said: “When I have kids, I’m going to travel like Sarah and  leave them with the Nanny, I want to live my life “. No comment. They’re fantasising about travelling and leaving their children with the maid. It’s an actual fantasy.

Another reason is the fact that many arabs here already have a secured job in the near future. Whether it’s because of their father, or through contacts. Making them dramatically lack motivation. Do you see what’s happening here? No one is educating anybody anymore. It’s all being passed on, and people actually think they are privileged or deserving of it.

People here think that they are owed lands, jobs and and so much more from the government. A main issue here is how much the government ISN’T giving them. They want free homes, secured jobs ( Not just any jobs, they all want to be managers and have fancy offices ) and for the roads outside to be air-conditioned.

Where do we start to correct this?

I wouldn’t know but my guess is that we need a cultural shift. We need education. We need to lose all of that oil.

 

 

Don’t force it

I have almost reached the verge of imploding.  It is not pretty. I haven’t written for days and it has bothered me. But I think I know why now.

When I run out of ideas to write,  I take out my pad and take a look at all of the ideas I have written in it, then I choose one. Now most times this works, but sometimes it just doesn’t. There’s just no juice for that particular topic. I have tried to write about a specific topic for the past 4 days now and I have written just shy over a 100 words!! To give you an idea of what a 100 words are, this post has already reached 117 words.

Every day I’d come back to it and sit in from of my computer and stare at it. Just stare. Maybe write a sentence or two and then freeze. I did that for 4 days. It felt like one of my old jobs. As soon as that hit me I stopped. I drafted it and moved on. This isn’t a forced job, I’m not getting paid for it and I’m not asked to write about that specific topic. Then WHY was I stuck on it ? Here a few reasons why I may have been:

  1. I didn’t have a better idea: So I just decided to stick to this until something better came along maybe.
  2. I felt obliged: I may have had the ” finish what you started” mentality at the time. I think that mentality can be very unhealthy. I mean look at what it did to me ( nothing tragic really, I’m just being over dramatic right now, but some people do tend to take it way more serious than I do and stay stuck for a lifetime trying to finish something poor that they started,  I don’t want to live that way) I wasted 4 days, meaning at least 4 posts could have been posted, but NOOooooo. I had to stick to it.
  3. I didn’t have the best setting: Usually when I write, I like it to be quiet. I like to be isolated. Like now. It’s 6:57am. Just finished a run, everyone’s asleep and I have the morning all to myself ( till 7:30).

After that experience it really hit me.I shouldn’t have forced it. Why?

Life’s too short to force ourselves to do things that aren’t part of our flow. God knows we do enough of that already in a lifetime. Anything that I do for me, shall not be forced. If don’t want to ride my bike. Fine I’ll run. I don’t want to write about X, fine I’ll write about Y. I don’t want to eat bananas, fine I’ll eat figs. As long as I keep moving. I shall not force myself to do anything I don’t feel natural . I’ll go with the flow. Something a lot of us are resisting.

I’ll let the wind be my guide for when I’m uncertain, stuck or feel obligated.

Now imagine being carried away by the wind. What beauty. No control, just submission .

wind