We all spoke about dreams and future goals. But one of the lady’s told me ” Honestly, I have dreams only but no goals.” I asked what do you mean? ” Well, she said: I dream that I win the lottery. Then buy a big building, and then live off the rent. That’s all I want”.
This other guy quickly spoke and said that dream is the dream of half of the population here. Everyone wants to buy a building and live off it. I asked her about her plan B, in case that didn’t happen. She had nothing. Now, this isn’t new to me. I’ve heard this plenty of times here in the gulf. I just never understood it. WHY? HOW?
You see I never grew up having a maid, and for that I’m grateful. Maybe it’s how you’re brought up? But it wasn’t enough for me. Why are you all so lazy? How did you make it here? How did fashion, gossip and doing your nails sustain your brain.
So I asked more people and did a little more digging. You see, before all the women, girls, sisters, daughters, aunts, etc pitched in to help with the household duties. Girls got into the kitchens with their mothers and both spent socializing chatting about their day and baking, kneading bread, etc.. The mothers taught their daughters how to cook, clean, do household stuff, they helped baby sit siblings, daycare was unheard of, you normally had an older sister, cousin, aunt, granma that was more than willing to babysit for you..
This age of oil during the late 50’s and 60’s made a crop of spoiled parents that now give their children everything they didnt have.I know and have some girl friends that have now, never set a toe into a kitchen. they wouldnt even know how to boil water. Much less run an oven or stove.All they can do is paint their nails, discuss fashions, shop for more clothing, etc..
Yes some do get more educated, but this is book knowledge, they still dont know their way about the house. With a marriage proposal and high dowry ( greedy girls/parents ) they want houses, maids, drivers, cooks, nannies all guaranteed prior to saying “I DO”.
Here’s what’s unbelievable. Not having a maid is looked down upon. You’ll see some young couples who I know are struggling to make ends meet, but they have that maid/nanny in toe behind them. The parents dont even want to hold the child, even push them in the stroller, its beneath them.
And let’s not even mention the travelling part. It’s a cultural thing here to travel and leave your kid behind for months ( at times ) with the nanny ( At the parent’s place of course, but their with the Nanny really) . Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think travelling with your loved one is wrong, just as long as the kid is in safe responsible hands. Not the maids!! And not for over 2 weeks!! This isn’t just a woman thing of course. The male issue here is a whole post on it’s own. I’ll just focus on women for now since I already started there.
I actually know of a real person, who said: “When I have kids, I’m going to travel like Sarah and leave them with the Nanny, I want to live my life “. No comment. They’re fantasising about travelling and leaving their children with the maid. It’s an actual fantasy.
Another reason is the fact that many arabs here already have a secured job in the near future. Whether it’s because of their father, or through contacts. Making them dramatically lack motivation. Do you see what’s happening here? No one is educating anybody anymore. It’s all being passed on, and people actually think they are privileged or deserving of it.
People here think that they are owed lands, jobs and and so much more from the government. A main issue here is how much the government ISN’T giving them. They want free homes, secured jobs ( Not just any jobs, they all want to be managers and have fancy offices ) and for the roads outside to be air-conditioned.
Where do we start to correct this?
I wouldn’t know but my guess is that we need a cultural shift. We need education. We need to lose all of that oil.