Your thoughts are destroying you

I’m going to be unemployed soon. I’ll be buried in debt. My family will probably look down on me and I’ll have low self esteem because of that.

All this is running through my head as I write this from the comfort of my apartment, on my macbook pro, waiting for my kids to show up and hug me and I just got reviewed at work, getting the highest grade I’ve gotten yet. So you see?!

I know now for a fact that the whole ‘you are what you think’ is some pseudo-profound bullshit! 

It gets us all the time. It has taken me 27 years to realise that I’m not what I think. I know, I’m slow. But HEY!! At least I got there. Yes, thoughts play an incredible role in how we feel, act and portray the world. If you’re thinking sunshine and rainbows then you’re most probably going to be feeling better than some one thinking corruption, pollution and global warming. But. But, that doesn’t take away from the fact that life presents itself to us in a way and we have to be a little realistic if we want to roll with it and really be self aware.

My friend Ali thought he could enter his first ever Ironman 70.3 and finish in under 5 hours. I told him, “are you serious? “. He was convinced he could do it. Being the person I am, I didn’t want to crush that dream he had, so I’d let him do it and see what happened. Heck, I don’t even expect that much from myself. Anyways, he finished in 7:55.

I think dreaming big is beautiful, courageous and grand. But I’ve come to realise that my dreams are merely dreams unless I…Well, unless I do something. Anything.

One of my favourite quotes I’m going to steal right now from the awesome Ryan Holiday: ”  Be humble in your aspirations; Be gracious in your success; And be resilient in your failures.” 

I’m not one for quotes because as you know, we are currently living in the” quotes ” era. But man does that quote speak to me from miles and miles away. It slaps me right in the face and puts me in place. I want to be a successful filmmaker and writer. And maybe even athlete, I don’t know yet. I wanna wear many hats.

4 years I go I decided I’m going pro as a triathlete. I made up my mind and had already told my wife how. My wife not knowing jack about the sport encouraged me. Needless to say I not only failed but was humbled by the work I had to put in and the crazy base I needed to not only go pro but to win as a mere age grouper in this island where athletes are killing it day in and day out. WHAT WAS I THINKING?

After several larger than life dreams that I crushed I now know how to think better and  I think it’s good. I’m more self aware now. It’s not that I don’t dream big anymore it’s just that the whole idea of dreaming big is just bloated and apparently everyone is dreaming big somehow and not doing anything at all.

I feel like we have to admit it and realise that those who dream big and ACTUALLY make it are a handful. And we’re not all like each other. We’re not all Steve Jobs, Bill gates or Mohandas Gandhi. I actually read the Steve Jobs biography and all he wanted to do was sell enough computers. He was humble in his aspirations. Prince was a janitor and did all he could to record music with crappy equipment. Those are all the examples at the back of my head now but unless you’re already loaded or have a rich pappy/grand pappy. You’re just not going to make it BIG at once. I’m not too, don’t worry. I’m not what I think. If I think big, I’m surely not necessarily going to make it big and vice versa.

Travis Barker, the drummer of Blink-182 grew up in a lower middle class family. He could read musical notes at the age of 4 and became obsessed with drumming. He moved away from home to pursue his dreams of playing the drums. That’s how far his dream extended to, just playing the drums and nothing more. He worked as a garbage man and lived in an apartment with a bunch of friends. . He is now worth 45 millions dollars. Some websites even say 85 million dollars. Are those numbers making any sense to you?! A pure example of being humble in your aspirations. In his head all he was a good drummer. His head was wrong. His thoughts were wrong. He wasn’t his thoughts. He was so much more and at times so much less.

Big dreams are scary and definitely don’t motivate most of us to get out there and be the next Picasso, Einstein, Tom cruise, or Steve Jobs. I’m more interested in everyones failure now than anything else. I’ve become obsessed with FAILURE.

I now just want to make films, write posts, be fit enough to be adventurous and be a better me than I was yesterday. You know, humble. I’m trying to have my thoughts align with who I am as a person.

I really think this post would be perfect if it ended with the same quote.

Here goes:  Be humble in your aspirations; Be gracious in your success; And be resilient in your failures.



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