I’m in the bathroom writing this

I’m now writing this post in a bathroom. TMI I know. But I just had to do it.

I needed to write this. A day cannot go by without me writing. I’m currently working but this is my break. It’s exactly 1:20 am. I get off at 3.

Here’s what I had for dinner. Fresh salad, vine leaves, artichokes, quinoa with corn and hummus. I feel so much better about working at this hour when there’s good food available.

Which got me thinking. If you offer great food to your employees. They will be happy. There’s no 2 ways about it. Food is the true way to the heart.

If you’re an employer or an entrepreneur reading this, please consider feeding your staff well. They’ll appreciate it and probably love you. Just for the moments they eat of course. But still, you get a little smile out of them and you keep them healthy.

My time is up. Hope you’ve enjoyed this bathroom post 🚽

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To dry days

I don’t want to write tonight. I’m dry of ideas, have dry eyes due to a lot of screen time, and also coincidentally have a dry throat but can’t even be bothered to get a cup of water.

But here’s what’s going to happen. I will write. Then I will get up have a glass of water, I’m gonna give my eyes a little rub, getting them a little more circulated and then watch a little bit of Red Dragon before I head to bed. I’m on a mission and I don’t plan to stop anytime soon. A lot of the times I want to but when I don’t I just feel so good.

It’s usually easy to do whatever you’re doing when you feel like it. It’s easy to be nice when you’re in a good mood and had a good 8 hour of sleep. It’s easy to be a good manager when things are going according to plan but what happens when shit hits the fan? I always want shit to the hit the fan. Like now, God I’m even more thirsty than I thought.

I’m about done here, time to quench my thirst.

I have never celebrated Valentine’s day

I remember being 14. I had a massive crush on this older girl. I was always into older girls. I never really was interested in girls my age or younger.

Anyways, I had a pen that had a heart tip on it and every time you wrote, it lit up. It was pretty cool. I gave that pen to her on Valentines. That’s as far as my Valentine’s has ever gone. And that time I just wanted to score with that girl really. Deep down I didn’t care for it. I was already self aware about it’s propaganda techniques.

I’ve always managed to successfully convince whoever I was in ” love ” with about the evils of Valentines and it’s been a success so far.

It’s a difficult time for many people. Singles and couples alike. Singles are being shoved the idea of relationship, togetherness and lovey dovey in their faces while couples are pressured into doing something special, and it better be more special than your wife’s/girlfriend’s friend’s celebration. It’s a pretty brutal day. And corporations and all kinds of establishments are making a KILLING out of that one day.

Please take sometime to consider what Valentine is and has become. A vain celebration of ” love” . They even now hit singles with offers such as ” love yourself ”  slogans. Come celebrate valentine with your single friends bla bla bla. What a f****** joke.

If I did offend who’s celebrating Valentines today, I really hope you’ve read this with an open mind and heart. It’s Valentine’s. Show me the love.

meval

5 things I learnt in my 28 years on this earth

  1. Life is never a constant. You’re never gonna be always happy and never gonna always be sad. Here’s a quote I read today that I’d like to share with you.“Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing.We think that the point is to pass the test,

    or to overcome the problem,

    but the truth is that things don’t really get solved.

    They come together and they fall apart.

    Then they come together again and fall apart again.

    It’s just like that.

    The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen:

    room for grief,

    for relief,

    for misery,

    for joy.”

    ~Pema Chodron

    2. Say yes, then learn how to do it. If I tell the story of how I happen to teach at one of the best and if not the best language centres on the island, you’d be shocked. I just went for it. Didn’t know what I was doing. Got rejected. Did a test, failed it and called back going them great reason to hire me. I probably stole this point from Richard Branson, but I was doing this way before I even read his autobiography.

    3. Life isn’t fair. You probably have a lot more than you need and you’re also way worse than a lot of people that have less. You’re pretty privileged and that’s not fair. That goes both ways. So I try to be as grateful to God as I can and always remind myself of it too.

    4. The secret to energy is passion. I surround myself with the energy I want to be. Be it people, community, books and movies. That’s what makes me the best me.

    5. To get, you gotta give from the same currency. I have realised one thing recently, if I want more love, I gotta give more love. If I want more money, I gotta give more money. Whatever it is I want, I should give it out and it’ll come back in doubles.

    meb

An open letter to all on the day I was born

Today on the 12th. I write this whole heartedly. No sarcasm, no puns unfortunately and no humour. Maybe just a little humour.

Usually on the 12th I don’t feel my best self and I’m usually overwhelmed with the idea of being forced to be happy. It was a lot of pressure for me. And I kind of hated my birthdays in a way, apart from the gifts. It was emotionally hard. I don’t know why  but I hated it for a few years.

Today though, I surrendered to the day. I didn’t force anything and my wife understood me so didn’t really push anything unto me. I woke. I ate and I did. Just like everyday and reacted to however the day was being with me.  I must say it was a lovely day and I cannot be mad at it. Instead of overwhelming happy forced feelings, I was a little overwhelmed by the love I was getting all around me, even strangers.

I was basically working all day and just celebrated during lunch but as I was out, a stranger told me in the parking lot that he watches my vlogs. My wife got me organic jam and baked me a vegan cinnamon roll cake , my office celebrated me while I wasn’t there, so they took a video of it all and sent it to me. I got 2 upcoming gigs that I actually enjoy doing. I had a raw vegan pie delivered to me. I could keep going on but as I’m typing all of this I realised how blessed, lucky and fortunate I am. I want to stop here and tell you that  I’m paying it forward. I’m doing it as much as I can every single day. And I acknowledge you for even reading this.

Thank you from the bottom of my circulatory system.

bdayme

Death is inevitable

I turn 28 in an hour or so.

Today has been a very long day. I had a 13 hour work shift. I’m exhausted and emotional.

I don’t know why. But today’s work was rewarding. I got to be a mentor for a team of 7. I guided them to create a movie. 7 people with no relevance or experience in filmmaking created a 2 minute movie. One of my team even won best actor.

I’m so happy about that. I’m just usually emotional this time of year. I’m getting closer to my goals and freedom. I’m also getting closer to death. It’s liberating.

When I feel this way, I think of a picture that I saw a while ago about how the earth looks like from far far away. It’s like this overhead shot of the planet earth and it looks very small.

It’s a tiny hole. What am I worried about?

We are tiny specks walking around. We are miracles bossing each other and being d**** to each other.

I like to think of that picture, it calms me. I also like to think of Jim Carrey’s crazy concept  of we don’t exist. This isn’t real.

The other day I had a really shitty day. I just said to myself ” Hey, I don’t exist. This isn’t even happening 🙂 “

How to voice yourself in 4 easy steps!

Do you have anything to say?

Anything to contribute?

Here’s how you can put yourself out there.

  1. Start a blog
  2. Start a youtube channel
  3. Post instagram rants
  4. Facebook duh

Anything you think you think you need to voice, do it. You may not have much traction but the more you put yourself out there, the more you’ll be heard. The more you’ll attract.

We all have a burning flame inside of us to express. We are after all emotional beings.

It’s not easy. The medium is important, the content, the length, the presentation. So man things to consider.

Start, only then you’ll know your medium, length and form of presentation.

Good luck justice warriors.

Why are we so bad about talking about pain?

A few weeks ago, or maybe months. Time is just flying by.

A fellow colleague of ours lost her husband while she was teaching a class. She didn’t know that she had lost him until she arrived to the hospital. They told her that he fell and is in emergency room. By the time she left her class and got to the hospital, he was already dead.

I was a little shaken up by that. I mean people die everyday, every minute and probably every second. But people who are close to you, its different. She came back to work pretty quick. In around 2 weeks or so. Maybe she needed the money, or maybe she had to get out of the house because there was nothing she could really do. I don’t know.

We all expressed our condolences and that was pretty much the end of it. At least for me. Every time I see her I feel awkward. I’m not sure whether to smile or say hello and walk away or ask her about her feelings. I don’t know. I’m afraid she doesn’t want to be reminded and also afraid that she thinks that I’m being an insensitive prick. And I really don’t which one I am. Maybe I am one.

In my heart, I don’t want to hear about it because I haven’t been trained to deal with such grief. And also don’t want to. I’m a busy person. And plus I see her in between classes, wouldn’t that be awkward to talk about her husband’s death which may end up a disaster and then we both have to end up going to a class. Me writing this makes me feel like I’m not the best person in the world right now.

The world is full of pain and suffering but we don’t talk about it enough. We kind of have 2 sides. Too much pain and suffering and too many masks on. We all know that someone who constantly complains about every single damn thing. I honestly think they ruined it for me because I usually think keep that s*** to yourself.

But not every problem is s***. Not every problem should be neglected. Some need to be dealt with. Some need love, care, attention and pretty much a support group.

I have so made so many assumptions about my colleague’s feelings that I didn’t stop and just ask her. I did once and she said ” good good”. I said good, I’m glad and quickly walked away before she said anything else and possibly break down in tear. It’s messed up.

I now want to sit down and have a heart to heart with her. If she cries, she cries. She can tell me if she doesn’t want me to bring it up. She can tell me.

She can tell me.

Why? How? What?

There have been times I ask myself why? How? what?

Most of us have these words stuck in our heads.

Why me? or why am I doing this? Why is this happening to me? Why do I have to do it?

How can I even do it? How to begin? How?

What to do? What do I do with my life? What am I even doing? What does it all mean?

Let’s begin with the ” why “.  Look, the world isn’t fair. The world isn’t gonna give you a hand out so deal with that. Don’t shoulda woulda coulda yourself. If you really think otherwise, write a book about it and name it ” How the world should be ” by ME.

Stop asking the wrong questions, or questions such as why am I here?

I will not give you a religious or spiritual answer to that because to each their own but you’re here to feel. That’s as easy as it gets. To feel and to live and by living that means also being conscious of those around you. You cannot get anything done on your own.

And no one is self made. That’s a lie. You probably worked very hard. You did a lot of things others wouldn’t but you were helped from those around you, that’s a given fact whether your ego accepts it to not. That even goes for Mr. Mayweather the self made man.

So why? Just shut up, feel and do better for yourself and those around you.

How do I do what I want to do?

If you can think it, you can be it. Wrong.

You can only do what you are able to do with the tools and resources that you have.

For example, I think I can be an astronaut because I was told I could be anything I wanted (  I was told the opposite but you know what I mean ). That’s false. I have no science knowledge that could help me get there, no networks, base, or interest. Therefore , a very stupid statement in my head.

The how is answered by simply doing. Doing, doing, doing and doing some more. This goes for everything and everyone. Even unemployed people. You apply, apply, apply and apply some more or break out and apply your skills in an area where it’s needed and make yourself some extra income.

That’s how you do it. Or build up to it. You know the drill. I’ve written about this before but don’t remember when, so ain’t gonna link it.

What? Just do what’s available. Do 1,2,3, jobs. Do them all, then only you’ll know.

Nothing is beneath you and nothing is above you. Do it and you shall experience, feel and do some good.

I hope this was somewhat clear.

Oh, pro tip: If you’re doing and you love it but somedays ask yourself how and why?

Just go to sleep. Sleep on it. You’re just tired.

Why I wake up early?

When I’m up early tired, exhausted and fatigued. I look around me

The darkness, the stillness, the quiet. Maybe to whoever reading this, this is a normal scenario for you, but to me it’s very rare. I get to type in serenity, stretch in serenity, breath in serenity and use the word serenity in my head over and over and over.

I get to think about how I’m going to deal with today, how I’m going to deal with the s*** I may face, and write down 3 simple goals or tasks I’d like to achieve today. Easy but extremely essential.

I get to witness darkness turn into light. Or light turn bright. I get to sip on water while typing this. Squeeze in a workout. By the time it’s 8am I have lived significantly and can now move forward with what’s about to come. Anything and everything.

Waking up to chaos is the one of the worst feelings ever.

Thank God for mornings. I’m yawning already though and beginning to see things a little blurred. Maybe it’s time for a nap.

morning