The crowd. We all want to be a part of it and we simultaneously don’t .
It’s a really funny thing. We spend half our lives trying to fit and the other half resisting fitting in and then we die.
I think you should always be part of the crowd, I think the crowd is good. I think with the right crowd, you’ll be a better you.
- We are social beings, we thrive on each other’s energy and existence. Being a part of a crowd helps you have a sense of direction and more importantly belonging.
- Care and love. Who are you going to care for and more importantly how are you going to be cared for or feel a sense of recognition if you are not part of a crowd.
- Opportunities all come through the flow of people. We need each other, anyway we grow is through empowering or feeling empowered. How can you not do that if you aren’t part of a crowd?
- Support systems are key. Support systems are what helped me make it out of very difficult situations in life. The good thing about those systems is that you can always keep modifying them. You can change, exchange and discard. So create a beautiful support system of great humans that will only bring the best out of you.
- You don’t want to die alone. Even if you have a family of your own, families grow, move out and change to create crowds of their own. Family is overrated when it comes to support systems. They’re great, don’t get me wrong. I love families and the whole idea behind it but they shouldn’t be your only support system rather part of a support system.
- You get to create in a crowd. Create futures, art and a lot creativity. The creative juices are always better in groups, just google ” brainstorm”. It should be called brains storm
- You get free therapy when you’re in a crowd. You get to laugh you problems away or maybe even talk about them, but the important thing is that you’re in the right crowd that’s elevating your soul and enriching your life. Or else modify
- Compete, contrast, compare and continue forward. In a crowd you can always be checking yourself, comparing yourself and sharing constructive criticisms. It’s something you can measure up against. Be in or create a crowd that are always moving forward , talking ideas and push each other closer to the edge.
- Lower chance of heart disease dude. Your heart is a fragile thing that pumps blood and does a whole of miracles. So keep it in check. According to science friendships extends life expectancies and you get to not die with a failed heart. OR at least not as soon as that other guy who isn’t in a crowd.
- You will be less lonely when you’re part of a crowd. It’s always nice to know when there’s someone or more that are willing to go through thick and thin with.
I want to end this by stating the obvious.
Use your best judgement. Not all crowds are healthy, create one that inspires you and be open to the universe and all it has to provide.
Most people I’m surrounded by like the idea of rain but don’t really like like rain.
If you want to become a rain lover, there are certain things you have to do to proof to yourself that you love, appreciate and enjoy the rain. Here are 10 things I think of doing when the rain showers upon us, which is a very rare commodity ( in this part of the world )
- Stand outside and just wonder while you’re being showered with purity. Get wet, and do not fear it, for it is only water. We are mostly of it, so do not fear it. But be like it, for we are one.
- Hydration by rain. Take a bottle water with you and place it under the rain. Place it into a bowl, boil it, then drink it. This is an odd one.
- After doing number 2 you could also make tea with rain water.
- Go out and run under water, oh my God the exhilaration. How often does that happen? Please make use of this free shower while you run. This right here is a runner’s dream
- Walk under the rain like there’s no rain falling. But there is. But you don’t care because you are a true rain lover. Aren’t you?
- Do I have to state the obvious about you taking selfies and all kind of crazy rain photography. But seriously I have taken some great rain shots. Mostly post rain, here’s one for more awesomeness just follow me on instagram y’all @elcotth. Just get creative.
- If you have boots you don’t wear often or even better rain boots, then wear them and start jumping on paddles like a mad person, I would say madman but wouldn’t want to offend anyone. This point doesn’t apply to me because I don’t have any kind of boots .
- Plan out to go with a friend on a rain photoshoot and do the craziest stuff. How often do we say silly, creative rain poses. It would be an epic day to remember and you could start a new trend or your very own personal tradition
- Sit at an outdoor but covered cafe. Have a cup of coffee with maybe a delicious pastry while you hear the meditative sound of rain. It’s such a stress reliever.
- I’ve always heard of dancing in the rain but I wouldn’t know much about that now would I ?
I think by now we are aware of what happiness really is. It’s a state of mind.
But we don’t buy that. We don’t want to buy it and we will not buy it.
It’s too easy, too lazy, too simple.
Where’s the drama? Where’s the complexity? Where’s the hardship?
We like to complicate matters and dramatise every situation to feel more relevant and to feel like we matter. We create scenarios and turn little situations that aren’t considered situations into shit parties so we can feel sorry for ourselves. We also like to have an illusioned goal of what happiness is. So we aim towards nowhere and then complain some more.
It’s sad, it’s tiresome and it’s consuming. I was there for a long time. I was always chasing. I’m almost teary thinking about what I thought happiness was.
I mean we all know, and we all share happiness quotes
I’m usually a happy person but I chose to write this today because I was feeling beat down, tired and a little unhappy but then I remembered what happiness was. I remembered how happiness mattered most when I thought I was unhappy. Here are 10 ways I get that happiness fix ASAP.
- I am not unhappy. I am tired. I am listening to the wrong voices, the wrong people and the wrong messages. I assess my situation and turns out I’m one of the luckiest people I know. What is your current situation? Do you have food, water, shelter, limbs, health, smart phone, tv, laptop, car, pocket-money, friends, family, a fully functional brain? If you answered yes to most then you should be a happy and grateful little bunny.
- I am in charge of my happiness. I am the one who decides what will affect me ( for the most part at least ). This is a tricky one that requires a lot of mental work. I know it’s hard. It’s very hard. We have been programmed to complain, whine and protest. So imagine against what you know your whole life. Scary. When you go out with friends, do you talk happiness and blessing or complaints and curses? You know the answer to that.
- When things are out of control and overwhelming and I can’t seem to make anything right. I stop. I breathe. I do nothing and give myself that space to breathe and do absolutely nothing until I get my senses back and tackle one little thing at a time or not. It may just go away.
- Movement has always made me feel better for as long as I can remember. Walking, jogging, swimming, cycling, lifting weights and jumping. 10 minutes of time for myself to do what I need. Happiness comes when my body and mind are moving forward. Moving towards a better bod and a better mind. Moving towards a bright future. Moving towards happiness.
- Contrary to popular belief, talking about my problems don’t make them better. At least not anymore. In the past I used to always think that talking about my problems would make things better. This can be true for specific scenarios only. Like talking about why I treated or was treated with a certain manner and so forth. But talking about general problems make me delve deep into the fact that I have a ” problem ” and think problem problem problem. No more. If something is bothering me and I have a ” problem “. I talk about solutions solutions solutions. Say I have a fitness problem. I don’t tell myself that or talk about that, I think about my next workout session and that only. Money problem? Think of new projects to take and clients to take on. No problem here. Relationship problem? Love more, do more, kiss and hug more. Done. No problem here. It’s all good. I focus on the good I will get more good. I focus on the issue then it becomes a bigger issue.
- In the grand scheme of things, I really have no control. I don’t control how you’ll react to this post, whether or not you’ll hate or love it. All I have a little control over are my actions and reactions. Now that I know how little control I have. What am I really worried about. God has this. I’m in good hands. I believe and trust in the process. There’s nothing more I can do but act and react. I am happy now that I don’t have to control so much. What a blessing.
- I don’t listen to problems. People who tell me how I have to take this seriously bla bla bla are people I don’t need to be talking to. Or people who constantly complain about the littlest of things are those I avoid like the plague. If you have problems you’d like to talk about it, please see someone else or see a shrink. You can on the other hand come talk to me about ideas, opportunities, happiness and love. I’m all ears.
- I think of my happy place. I think of my wife, children, friends, camera, computer, movies, books and of course fruits. I think of what makes me smile and happy. I think of the state we are all in. I think how we are all in one piece. Happiness. I also think of the weather, the people around me. It’s all beautiful. Happiness. Not many people have access to clean air and water. How can I not be happy? I feel like it would almost be a sin not to be.
- I look up to the sky and see God all around then I look down and see the same thing and I then remember, “God does not burden any human being with more than he is well able to bear:
in his favor shall be whatever good he does. ” I’m good dude. There’s nothing I’m thrown at in life that I won’t be able to conquer. It’s why it has been given to me. Because I can.
- Every experience is a positive one. Every barrier is a lesson, every argument is a chance to learn more about yourself and be a better debater and every downfall is a chance to pick yourself up and be a hero like Batman did. It’s all good. It’s all good, it’s all good.
I stared losing grip of it all, and what’s worse was that I was seeing others losing grip of it and that wasn’t helping. I somehow felt like I was part of a community, meaning if they got sucked into they I would too.
But that wasn’t the case. I didn’t have to join the falling crowd. I have no problem of being a sheep if we’re all moving forward, being open to new ideas and opportunities. Heck, being part of a tribe, community and society is what we have been built for. So, sure I can be a sheep as long it serves me spiritually, physically, financially and mentally.
But this wasn’t serving me. No it wasn’t. I needed a way out.
NOW. I couldn’t wait any longer. I have 2 babies. I have bills. I am an adult. What more proof do I need to convince me that life is moving forward with or without me, and that I will be worm food any minute now. I can’t have this take over me. Here’s 10 things I did to be as productive as I can and combat the social media virus.
- Lock dow. I locked my apps. Yes, I put them under arrest so that I could rest, and take over this whirlwind that was passing by. It’s taken so many around me, I wasn’t going to to just stand there and have it take me along for the ride. No way Jose. I use ” Flipd ” for this. The beautiful part is that you can’t even unlock the apps until their time is up. Beauty at it’s fiercest.
- Snapchat didn’t serve me, Linkedin didn’t serve me, Facebook is almost not serving me until I started writing again. Anything that didn’t serve me I deleted off my phone. I share these posts only using my laptop on Facebook.
- I was always alert and as conscious as I could be when I was using social media. Every time I’d be using I would be checking myself and checking what I was looking at and why. Why am I reading about this particular subject and how’s it going to leave me feeling
- No games ever. EVER. My wife has become a prey to these games, and I sometimes can’t help but feel a little sad. Until I find myself on Youtube like a madman. Games suck the living life out of you, leaving unfocused, frustrated and goal ( less )
- Turn off notifications. Doesn’t really help if you open your phone every 2-3 minutes, but hey it was a start.
- No phone rules. While out with family and friends. I’d make sure to indulge and be 100% present when I’m out and about with other human beings. On some weekends I even leave my phone in the car and go about my day. So liberating. Until my wife yells at me, because we can’t be separated at the mall without wasting so much time. Suddenly liberty ceases to be.
- Scheduled time to use social media. I now Have a dedicated time to use the mindless. Now, I have to be transparent and say that on days I’m more active than some only because social media is my career. It’s how I make a living and provide. But that still doesn’t mean that it has to take over my life.
- Carry a book with you everywhere. I now buy a book I really want to read and replace that with that ” smart” phone of mine that isn’t necessarily making me any smarter. Any time I have, I open the book and read. You’d be shocked at how much you end up reading and how good you feel about yourself. I feel pretty darn good.
- Carry a notebook with you and write. I write down ideas that I get, write down how I’m feeling, write down how this experience is going for me. Hell, I can even write it down to share on social media and hopefully inspire others to escape their roles on The walking dead season 14. Like this post 🙂
- Stay woke. Be alert, conscious , and aware of how much our attention spams are shrinking. Protect yourself, love yourself, love your environment, love your friends, children and fellow humans. Stay woke.
After hours not being online, I go on it and find that nothing has really changed and that I didn’t really miss anything. What I really was doing was missing out on my own life. Sad but true.