The one

I’ve been feeling down at times and wondered why me. Sometimes only.

Around me I look at huge corporations, philanthropists, artists, athletes and great authors. All making a difference and reaching hundreds and some millions of people. It saddens me how little impact I’m making. I want to be out there shooting stars and making a change in a humorous but effective way. I want to live life on the edge where others can recognize what I’ve done or am doing for them.

I walk by and see great impact happening. But none by me. I go back home and sit in sorrow while others fight to make a living. I don’t want to make a living. I’m already living. I want to make a change. A revolutionary change. I moan and whine about how unfair it is.

I get an email that same day from someone telling me how I have changed his life and he has now embarked on a journey to health and adventure. He started a business and told me that he has changed people’s lives through his company and wants to thank me for doing it.

I go out for a walk in the rain and look at labors working in the rain and one of them was sitting there and he looked cold and tired. I went up to him and asked him how is he. He said fine but a little hungry. I went bought a meal and told him “here have this”. It wasn’t much but it was all I could offer. He got up but nearly slipped cause of the wet floor. I grabbed him and held him up. He told me from now on he’ll carry extra food with him so he can help someone. He never wants anybody to be in such a situation again. It was windy so I left.

Three years later I look at the papers and see a face I recognize. It was a very familiar face but I couldn’t remember where or how I knew him. I read the story in the hope that I may know who he is. Maybe by name or profession. The title of the piece read: ” Man feeds 300 labors per week all over the Gulf”. I read the piece with such amazement and the story read that he himself was a labor who was once fed by a stranger and he took it upon himself to help as many people as he could. He made it his life mission to feed labors who didn’t have enough to eat. The emphasis were on construction labors. They usually suffered with low wages and had to live off low salary income and they always faced trouble with food.

I remembered him. I teared up. I was still feeling hopeless and suddenly realized I was calculating it all wrong. It was all a big miscalculation and I was in it for the wrong things maybe. Did I really want impact? Did I really want change or did I want fame maybe? Luxury? appreciation? recognition?  Not that anything is wrong with those but maybe I wasn’t true to myself. I cannot feel miserable because I don’t reach millions. I can not feel miserable because I am not recognized for my so called noble acts.

I then went out and started doing what I do. I just wanted to reach one person a day. Just one. It was less overwhelming. Less stressful and a lot more fulfilling. I want one person to be changed by me. I want one person to be touched and that is my mission. Just one. That’s all it takes to change the world.

If you are reading this then I am happy. Thank you. And I hope that I have touched you in a positive way. Please do come back. You’re the only one I need.

The stalker I wasn’t

I was the one who’d walk in Universal city alone. It’s called Universal city because it’s a very universal place. People from all over the universe come to walk there. I was seen with some people but not a lot and was always finding something new to do on social media.

I later got a message saying this, :I . That is what they call a neutral smiley. I replied back saying Hi? . Then got nothing back. Told her I missed her and it’s been a while.  I asked “are you okay?” She replied a day later saying “LOL”. It was a Friday night. and she asked me why was I texting her on a Friday night, lonely much? She must have been confused about who text who. I said that I replied to her message and that’s why I’m texting. She then told me that my loneliness has turned me into stalker and I should stop stalking her. That was the end of the conversation.

I began wondering why would anyone in their right minds say such a thing? I did put in the probability that she wasn’t all there. But what if she was all there? Was it maybe because I walked a lot at Universal city alone?  Or it was because  it is a Universal place and I shouldn’t have been there alone? Maybe I wasn’t all there.

Then I deviated away from the stalker part and thought about how lonely people can be interpreted. Not just as a stalker but many sort of things as well. Weird, lonely ( which has become a modern day curse word) , loser, freak, loner?! 

We nowadays have become terrified of being alone not just because it’s scary but because of the way its perceived . Its looked upon as wrong, bad and very antisocial. It’s why many are depressed, stressed and in extreme cases suicidal. We don’t know how to be alone and that can be a dangerous thing.

Here are 7 things I do when I’m alone to keep from not being a stalker :

  1. Turn off all social media. When I’m alone being on social media is like calling depression my way. It’s just bad. When we’re alone and we see people supposedly living such brilliant, amazing shiny lives. How would that make me feel? I start wanting to visit countries, be places with people, marry celebrities and own a mansion. Staying away from social media is something I do for the sake of sanity. Phones all turned off and signed out of everywhere. Its toxic I tell you
  2. Write. Or type, I’m a horrible writer, I have really bad hand writing and when I start writing and look at my handwriting, it just discourages me and I stop. So I type instead. Type about what I’m feeling, things I want to do, make plans. Just open up an empty canvas and type. I guess that makes me a typist.
  3. Read. I read up on about how to be lonely better. I read interesting stories. What I always suggest to my students is to find something they’re passionate about and read up on about it. There’s no such thing as I don’t like reading. We all have an interest that we would LOVE to read about. Cars, football, games, self help ( don’t know why its called self help if the book is one that’ll be helping you. How about help book? ) . Maybe pick up a magazine, search blogs, just try it. Or ask a friend to lend you a book, sometimes helps in starting you off with reading.
  4. Call my best friend. Whenever I’m bored or have nothing to do, I end up calling my best friend and we just talk and talk and talk. It’s amazing what wonders friends can do. And if you’re really lonely and don’t have a best friend or your best friend isn’t much of a talker then don’t do this point. Or shoot me an email.
  5. Ponder. It’s nice to have some quiet time to myself, where I just wonder about the future, think of tomorrow and it’s amazing benefits. Or just sit in silent and see what ideas come up. If anything is great, I write them down so I can write about them or talk about them even.
  6. Walk. Walking is always a great thing to do when I’m alone. Especially when the weather is good. You just can’t beat a good old walk.
  7. Movies. If I have something good to watch a movie works like a charm on me. I put it on and it’s just me and the movie. Or even better, I go to the movies, get a large popcorn just for ME and enjoy. Why do people even go the movies together when you can’t even talk. Some people won’t even go the movies alone? Really? You want someone you know sitting beside you? Lone-a-phobic much?

And those are the main things that I do to not stalk my fellow social media people.

Now I really want to go to Universal city.

city walk

How I stay trim year round

I’m trim all year long with sometimes little to no exercise. I remember winter last year I was super busy and was ordering and eating out every single day, and of course what do we do on the weekend? You guessed it We eat out some more! I gained 8 kilos, and no not muscle but by fat! Fat that gave me man boobs, a horrible belly and maybe a cute butt.

It was a harsh time. Then I cut down eating out to 90%, eating the same exact foods I eat out but home made. I lost half the weight. I was shocked. I’m eating the same amounts and eating the same type of foods, why did I gain weight at the time? It’s the sh** they put in our foods. That’s what got me big. I really hated my man boobs. I’m glad to have regular boobs right now. Really puts me at ease. Then came ramadan and I went like 80%-90% raw and lost all the weight that I put on. I was literally stuffing myself with bananas, mangoes, avocados and watermelon. What a beautiful month of raw foods. Miss it. I vlogged about it almost daily on my Youtube channel, you can check out the series right here

So what do I eat to stay lean all year round? And mind you, I’m a foodie. I’m all about the vegan dishes that make you go…mmmmmm mmmmmm mmmmmmmmm. Here’s a typical day in the life of what I eat. In the morning I always start with a liter of water. Then depending on if I’m working out or not I eat. If I am then I just have a date or 2, or nothing. Smash in a liter of water while and then hit breakfast. Breakfast consists typically of fruits. I usually make a smoothie in the morning. Here’s a recipe that’s a staple for me. Coconut water/milk or regular water, 12 bananas, blueberries and chia seeds. The base is always at least 10 bananas, the rest I just throw in what I have that day.

Lunch would be a cup of rice ( a cup of rice is what some cook for a whole family of 4) , some steamed veggies, or a vegan stew along side that.

Dinner maybe another 10 bananas, or some baked sweet potatoes. Sometimes around 3-4. It’s great with cinnamon and brown sugar. Ahhh man, I’m drooling.  But here’s the thing most of my food has very very very little to no oil or salt on it. We condiment our food using spices, herbs, lime, homemade sauce/dressing etc. My food is always naturally low in fat, and high in carbs. I don’t mean processed carbs, but whole food plants. All from mama nature. Mother’s always got it right.

This is a typical day for me and slightly varies from time to time.

Welcome to the high carb world where restrictions of portions isn’t just in my dictionary. To see more of what I eat or my shenanigans, follow me on Instagram @elcotth or add me on Facebook: Hady Elcott. Here’s also another way I stay lean.

Cut carbs Cut life.

 

 

How I soul create 

As I walk towards the gazing sun with my backpack and tent, I stare at the sun and hope that like in the movies, I’ll hear a voice telling me “H A D Y….Y O U  A  R E   T H E   C H O S E N   O N E” . But instead I taste the salt that’s coming out of me only, and hear silence.

hike.jpg

My eyes hurt now. I haven’t worn sunglasses for over a year, but I’ve never stared at the sun for that long before. I take my cell phone out and start browsing topics I find interesting. I want to be a writer. So I started this blog, in the hope of it taking me somewhere. I already feel better. I wanted to swim in the ocean, so I walked back to my car with disappointment that I will not get to hear my calling in the desert. I drove to the nearest ocean and took off all of the heavy hiking equipment I had on, boots, prescription glasses and just dived right in. It wasn’t really a dive, I had to walk towards the shallow water first and it stayed shallow for quite some time, I was almost going to turn back disappointed but the water eventually had covered me from head to toe. More salty flavor, but this time it wasn’t coming out my body. I guess it was a good idea to replenish my salt stocks.

I didn’t expect the ocean to tell me anything, but I felt liberated. Isn’t that what we’re looking for?. Why did I want to hear my calling from the sun, wearing hard shell pants, a fleece pullover, a hard shell jacket, warm socks, insulated boots, and high gaiters in the midst of summer?  Is that the way that I want to remember my calling? I want liberty, freedom and justice for all. Ok, that’s a little over the top but freedom will do for now. Until my next post.

I was wearing myself down, doing things I didn’t enjoy even the idea, just so maybe I could find out if it was good for me or if I wanted to do that. People go through heaps of trouble and stress to look for what they’re calling is and don’t realize that it can be easier than buying a plane ticket to Ghana for a spiritual hiking trip. I have written about finding our callings previously but this post is an even a shorter cut to that. Makes any sense?

After that ocean swim I decided to mostly  do want I want (having a family prevents you from a 100% freedom but i’ll settle for  75-85%) and in regards to soul searching, I’ve found a cheaper and more efficient alternative to the Ghana trip. And probably safer too.Here’s what I do and my soul has been expanding since.

Stopped stressing about my soul. I stopped looking for meaning outside of my interests. If I don’t enjoy wearing high gaiters, then I decided I’m not going to do something I don’t enjoy to supposedly feel spiritual. I stopped overthinking what I love to do and did more of things I like and enjoy. Like this post right here.

  1. You will not feel awesome everyday. I don’t want to post everyday but I feel better when I do. I don’t want to workout everyday but I feel awesome after I do. The same goes with self love , work, teaching. You are not going to be happy waking everyday to do what you love, you will not love it everyday but you’ll definitely feel better after doing it, and that’s love. It’s messed up. Mood follows action.
  2. Take up a prova. Prova is the Italian word for “attempt”. I once thought I wanted to be a graphic designer because I like cartoons and I have a vivid imagination, so I attempted to take up a graphic design course  and dropped it 20 minutes later ( and I didn’t even get the full deposit back ). It just wasn’t for me. The seat I had to sit in, the boring software. I liked the idea of it but the reality was that it wasn’t my thing. So try things that you think you may like and see how it feels.
  3. Stop soul searching. And start creating. I started looking up classes I wanna take, courses and some I thought were fun, turned out to be a total disappointment of what I had in mind. I started creating content. Youtube, blogs, pictures and anything I could do to create. Then things and people come searching for you. Some want your help, your advice and some want to make a fool out of you. It’s all good.
  4. Create challenges. If there are things I feel good about after doing, then I try to challenge myself to do it everyday for a period of time and try and make a habit out of it. Every time I break that challenge, it’s harder to get back on, but I don’t dwell for too long, just maybe lose sleep for a day or two but then get back right at it.
  5. It’ll take time. Progress takes time, but when I stick I feel better a 100% of the time. Hang on to your happiness and good habits, you’ll be a better whole person for it. And as much as I hate to say this but patience is a virtue when it comes to soul creating. You don’t create in a week or a month. I think 5 years is a good time period to see where I have come. So don’t lose hope and stick stick stick. You fall off the wagon, fine. Cry for a day or two, make your life and everyone else’s a living hell then get back on it and feel better. Others will too.

I follow these simple guidelines for a period of time and I almost always feel better.On to creating some more soul. If you read this and felt like creating a soul for yourself. Let me know how it goes.

 

10 things you can do when you’re broke.

So here I am looking at my bank statement. I haven’t put money in there for ages. I have been using cash only and have refrained from using the bank, just because its a hassle and plus I don’t have enough to actually hide from anyone. It’s just a means to an end every single month.

The bank then later on explains to me that I have insufficient funds, I tell them I’m aware of that. She then calmly tells me that we will be charging you for that. I told her that I’m not intentionally broke to mess with her or the bank. I’m genuinely broke and mean no disrespect. They decide to deduct money anyways and give to someone who has thousands in the bank, “Here you go Sir, you have a shit ton of money and deserve more for being that way, here’s Hady’s too while you’re at it”.

So i’m broke and worried. How am I going to pay the rent, pay the loans and be cool. I then take a moment to think about how bad this is. I feel slightly better and make a list of things to do when in broke in winter. Here it is:

  1. Chillax: Which also means to chill out and just relax. The panic button just doesn’t work when you’re broke. You begin to act stupid and irrational. Next thing you know, you’re selling weed to strangers. And it happens to be grass from your lawn. Keep your cool, think straight, figure out why you’re broke, how can you avoid this from happening again and make a list ( while you’re chilaxed)
  2. Be grateful: Chances are you’re reading this through a smart phone or a laptop. You’re a special kind of broke that has fancy things you can’t afford anymore. Enjoy it. Enjoy your room, your car, your handbags, your video games, your clothes, your shoes, your food. You are literally rich with nothing to worry about…for now at least.
  3. Revisit the past and how you ended up this way. What are you doing wrong? What’s sucking you dry month after month after month?
  4. Write down monthly expenses and see what you can discard. Are you paying a hefty gym membership? Maybe its time to change gyms, cell phone plans, or maybe even move apartments if rent is becoming an issue. Make a clear list of everything you pay on a monthly basis and start deducting garbage from there.
  5. Go for a long walk. Hey, its November. Get out there and enjoy some good scenery. You’re broke remember, what else are you going to do?
  6. Download a movie. Stay home on the weekend, invite friends over, foods on them and movies on you.Or watch it with your loved ones. May I suggest a 2010 movie called “Super” ( Warning:Its rated R) or maybe “Alex and Emma” or maybe even a 1975 Jack Nicholson classic “One flew over the cuckoos nest”. Most movies I’ve seen not many have, at least the people I know personally haven’t seen them, those are some good movies.
  7. Start a blog. Or just write for God’s sake. Write about why are you so miserably broke.
  8. Call up an old friend. Not the best idea, unless you have actually kept your cool. You don’t want to start crying at their shoulders about how you’re broke and lonely.
  9. Cook. Or learn to cook a meal since you don’t have much of a choice.How about starting with a smoothie, all you really have to do is peel. Rice and steamed vegetables?
  10. Avoid loans.You see h0w I wrote avoid and not refrain. Unless you’re really needy and you’re going to starve to death without borrowed money. I say suck it up and find a way to make it work till you get paid next. You don’t want to go broke faster next month

So hope this list helps you feel less miserable. It surely slightly does it for me. I sleep better at night knowing richer people get my money too. They’ve definitely worked harder than me. Some of them at least.

How I learnt to need human beings less and make friends with freaks like myself.

It’s 4am and the sun’s coming out. It’s a Friday morning and I have been sleepless for a couple of days now, apart from the power naps I take while I’m in the office or doing something important. Why don’t we ever fall asleep that fast when we’re at home, tired and exhausted ? Probably cause I had the latest iMac and was too excited to sleep, even though id regret it in the morning.

I’d wake up drained and as the English say it “Knackered “. I’d wake up feeling very needy and would crave some attention from other fellow humans. I’d make up scenarios in my head and fantasize about how good friends/buddies we are.

I’d constantly call people and would like to do something, I needed the attention, I had so much to say, so much to give but I couldn’t get any sleep. I was constantly depressed. I saw a therapist and asked for a solution. She told me to love myself and get to know me!

I thought I knew who I was, I just needed to share it with someone, the therapist refused I call after working hours, unless I was willing to pay a certain fee. I couldn’t afford it, so I was back to square 1. Why can’t I sleep, make lots of friends and influence loads of people ?”

So I started a daily practice, and slowly did things that helped me be a better person to myself and be less of a drain to others. I started asking myself “what do you want?”  I need people to like me “why?” . There lied the answer! Why would anyone like me?  What do I have to provide? Friendship isn’t enough! How about money with that? When I finally decided to pay my therapist to call after working hours, that was also refused. So I guess money is out of the equation too.

I began to learn new skills, read a few pages every night and found passion in sports. After, a while I enjoyed being with myself. I slept!!! I slept, oh man did I sleep! I no longer needed anyones attention, I shared the knowledge I learnt and that was enough, and then I finally knew how to choose my friends.  Here’s what I learnt:

  1. You have to give to take back : I was always such a drag and had nothing valuable to give sometimes, add that to lack of sleep and I could be a very unpleasant person to be around.
  2. Trust human beings: trusting that others will love you for who you are, letting everything else go. I just had to trust that my friends would want to hang out with me again, so I learnt to be patient by doing things I’m passionate about ALONE.
  3. Believe in yourself: “If you won’t then who will?” Just kidding, that a cheesy motivational meme I read. Believe that you possess the skills to keep yourself happy ( at least for a while ) and believe that you have the power to do amazing things while in solitude, just with a little focus and sleep.
  4. Choose wisely: if you’re circle of friends aren’t fueling you with passion, humor and acceptance, then its time to get out of the bubble and maybe draw a square to get into, and invite only those who are worthy of your weirdness.

I’m sleepy now, the lights are dim and I don’t want to need you more than you need me. It says that you’re on 33%, but I’m on 18%. Sorry laptop, but I can’t give you 33% This is a give and take.

needy