Question part 3

We all thought that Haddaway solved the million dollar question. We were all shaking our heads to it after all.

What is love?
Baby don’t hurt me
Don’t hurt me
No more

But no.

He only said it how he saw it. But that song was very popular not only because we saw Will ferell shaking his head to it but because it was good music that was super relatable. Love is pain right?

I asked someone very dear to me, what is love? They said you are love. As flattering as the answer was, I don’t think I’m completely pain. So what am I then? Am I pain, pleasure and a little bit of awkwardness thrown in the middle?

Some say that Love is indescribable and there have been amazing love stories out there and songs. We all know John Lennon when it comes to love. Ah yes! All you need is love la la la la …All you need is love, love, love love is all you need. This is the same guy who beat both of his wives, abandoned one of his children, verbally abused his gay Jewish manager with homophobic and anti-semitic slurs, and once had a camera crew film him lying naked in his bed for an entire day. There you go ladies and gentlemen John Lennon has defined love for us.

All you need is Love is just too easy because Love wont put food on the table, love won’t helps us stay committed. Saying all we need is love is pure lazy. I’m getting off topic here. We still don’t know what love is.

Is it Romeo and Juliet where if my wife happens to poison herself I follow. Or is it Gandi’s love for his country that made him starve himself till they all listened to him. Some even go as far to say that Love is a choice and we have a say in whether we fall in love or not. Contrary to popular belief where you don’t choose who you fall in love with.

So what the heck is going on here and who do we listen to? It all seems to extreme but our society idealizes love and the problem with idealizing love is that it causes us to develop unrealistic expectations about what love actually is and what it can do for us. These unrealistic expectations then sabotage the very relationships we hold dear in the first place.

It’s a very very hard question where many great people have taken the liberty of answering this question where we all supposedly know what it is.

There is no one answer for what is Love. This question like my other questions here and here is very subjective. Love comes in all forms, shapes and sizes too. There’s that popular but shaped heart, and then theres the real heart that looks pretty messed up. It comes with pipes around it and stuff. Nasty stuff. But there’s a lot of love in there to give.

Love meaning care. Meaning understanding at the hardest of times. Meaning let downs and forgiving. Love is responsibility. Love can be blindsided by lust, fame, money and other interests that come in handy for each individual.

What is love to you ?

It’s what you say

I was walking by the coffee shops with a friend and we meet an old friend of mine. We greeted and caught up a little. All I remember from the conversation was that it ended by her telling me ” You’re not a very nice person”. The rest is all cloudy.

I tried to remember the conversation and trace what I could have said  offensively. That was a problem, I didn’t know what I said until “You’re not a very nice person ” came out. Fortunately I had my friend with me to tell me what happened. He went over why she got upset and what I shouldn’t have said. I still wasn’t convinced that I was wrong. But Im sure glad he was there.

It’s not up to us to decide how we are sometimes. I have recently began owning how I am ( at least most of the time). Before when someone told me “You’re a prick”,  I would say ” NO, I’m not”. Well it’s not up to me is it? It’s like me telling someone you have something on your face and they say “NO, I DON’T” . I’m owning it and will analyze ( again, a lot of the time but not always ) it to see how I got there.

We all see through different lenses and when a majority of the people tell you, that you’re behaving like a @##$, then maybe and just maybe they may be right. Who knows? Give it a minute and think about it. I want to be silent for a second or two now when someone asks me something. Take a deep breath, think about the question, then think about what I’ll answer, freak them out a little and then answer. I’m really working on it and it’s a work in progress.

I very very rarely mean to offend or hurt somebody. But I still do, its something that i’m living with but I always have the best intentions in mind. Some people are more sensitive than others, and others more tolerable. Nothing you can do about that. The right people will stay and the sensitive will have people with a higher tolerance level… Sorry, I mean patience and compassion. This was just an example of how my words go wrong.

It’s a work in progress. Are you working towards something too?