Question part 2

He asked me why? And I answered. But why? I just don’t get it.

Somethings we’re just not suppose to get it. We just do it I replied.

It got me thinking late about his questions. They were very good questions. Hard ones, the ones that leave you wondering about your whole purpose.  I wandered in the car that day thinking of nothing but the questions that were asked. But one question stood out. A very easy question that we all had a right to know, since we were all doing it.

What is the meaning of life? That was the question. Easy. Right?!

He was depressed and was looking for answers. He needed something to hold on to.  Life is….I paused. He looked at with teary puppy eyes. A lot of hope were in those eyes. How could I have not answered him.

Life means doing good. Life means purpose. Life means living for tomorrow. Life means surrounding yourself with so much good that you can’t be touched by much bad. Life means to enjoy every moment of every day and every good thing that you have in your life. Life is surrender. Like means worshipping.Life means battle. Life means survive for an even better life. Life is fighting for what’s right. Life is letting go of what doesn’t grow anymore. Life is fear and standing in the face of it. Life is pain. Life is adventure. Life is experience. Life is art and life is creation.

I just kept going and going, I was on a roll. I wanted to give him reason to believe that life is a lot more than what he’s going through. I didn’t want to sound over positively so I added in a little pain to let him know that pain is part of the process and that life is messy but it’s all about how we perceive it and that life comes in many forms. Love, pain, confusion etc.

When I look back at what I told him, I’m proud of how I phrased it all and I he made it out of the that depressed phase he was in. For a while at least.I hope someday when he is feeling down again and life took has become pain again, he can look back at this and realize that there’s so much more to life than pain and it’s all a part of the process.

At least that’s my understanding of life. There are tons of books out there with what life really means but I’m pretty satisfied with what I’ve manifested.

To life *Raises half peeled banana*

How they digged their own graves

There he was. Smoking his way to the grave. A pretty good way to go if, if you ask me. If you enjoy it. Until you’re almost at the grave and then you really don’t wanna go. It’s not that you just don’t want to go anymore, cause who does? It’s what happens to you before you go. He was detoriating slowly. Deteriorate here means die slowly and painfully without you having any control over it and no amount of painkillers can stop it, but maybe deteriorate it even more ( make it slower ) which is bad news really. You’re just staying alive to be punished. Maybe that will make it easier after you’ve died already.

I asked him after his second diagnosis of confirmed cancer if it was from all the smoking, but he was quick to reply “NO”. I’ve been smoking all my life, can’t be it. If it was, it would have killed me a long time ago. But his premature aging and wrinkly cheeks were signs that this was coming sooner or later. Bless him.

This other guy I knew was convinced that he’s healthy and that his oversized gut was genetic and that it runs in the family. After a stroke he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol ( heart disease) and high blood pressure. He was later served the same food he always ate and refused to make any dietary changes or take medication because he was healthy and the stroke was just an incident that had occurred and was unavoidable. The next stroke he had numbed half his face leaving him partially blind and they had to amputate one of his legs due to poor blood circulation. He wished the stroke took him all the way to the grave instead of the emergency room.

What did these 2 stubborn but loving men ( to their families ) have in common ?

Well for one they became a damn burden to their loved ones and society as  a whole. They were living on the concept that if we have all done this for a long time then it’s perfectly fine. Their loved ones now had to take special care of them.

I like how the word “special” can mean the exact opposite depending on context. You’re a special boy, can mean you are mentally retarded ( literally and/or figuratively) and it can mean you’re wonderful ( Extraordinary). Their kind of “special” treatment led to others being handicapped by serving them in “special ways” no one had the pleasure of doing.

What does this teach me though?

It teaches me to look past culture and society. It teaches me that cultural habits can be very damaging if done long enough and it can damage myself and others around me in the long run. It teaches me that to deteriorate through cultural habits is bad. It teaches me to have an open mind when someone tries to teach me or even tell me something new and not be dogmatic about it. It teaches me also to be bare the pain of seeing dogmatic and stubborn loved ones dig a hole while I can’t do a single thing about it. That’s always the hardest part.

Good news for the diabetic dude though. The next stroke took him. Not sure if it was good or bad news for his loved ones. Maybe a little bit of both. A sort of a mixed feeling.
God rest their souls, and ours too while I’m at prayer mode.Amen.

The movie that distracted me from writing

It’s one of those movies where you can’t turn down or if you’re reading the book then can’t put down. I have run out of words to put in a good post recently but will write regardless.

It’s about.. well it’s about a lot of stuff. Patriotism, friendship, pride, love, family and career. It’s a great combination of events going in, its fast paced but at the same time it gives you a little time to get you emotionally involved with the characters.  Now I’ve seen hundreds and hundreds of movies and will continue to watch even hundreds more. I love it. It has my attention and it gives me something to think about. I think I’ll start writing about movies that are worth writing about and that can be seen by all ages. And that probably has a good moral.

So what movie/book am I talking about?! kite

Have you guessed it yet?

runner

Ok you may guessed it and you may have not. It’s kite runner!! The reason I write about this movie was because I just happen to watch while I was writing up a blog post and it completely deviated me from typing anymore. I mean completely. I watched this movie with ads. I forgot how good it was and I never watch movies ads. Yuck ads!!

Anyways, for those who may have seen or read, then you can read along. Those who haven’t if you don’t like spoilers then don’t I guess. But please watch or read it. Like for real.

The story takes place in the 197o’s in Afghanistan when it was all sunshine and rainbows before the war and the Taliban. It’s about 3 characters mainly, Ameer, Baba and Hassan. As children, Ameer and Hassan were inseparable; their long days under azure Kabul skies often spent getting into innocent mischief or preparing for the highly anticipated kite-fighting tournament. When the day of the tournament arrives, however, a glorious victory is quickly offset by an act of betrayal that ultimately serves as the catalyst for catastrophe. Not long after that fateful day, Amir moves away to America, leaving his old friend behind just as the country turn into a war zone. Two decades later, Amir returns to Afghanistan to find his beloved homeland has now fallen under the iron-fisted rule of the Taliban. Still, all hope for redemption hasn’t been lost just yet, because now that Amir stands face to face with the irrepressible secrets that he struggled so vigilantly to bury, he will receive one last chance to make peace with the past, and lay the groundwork for a brighter future.

Now, I haven’t read the book but some say that the movie is soulless compare to the book! WHAT?!. Man, then the book is definitely bound to turn me into a 13 year old girl. If you’re into reading and have the time. Buy the book, read it, get soft and feel better for you have read a masterpiece.

Not enough time and prefer a movie, watch it, turn into an 18 year old literature student that may or may not feel this emptiness in his/her heart towards the end of the movie. The movie is a little fast paced, and I’m sure by now tons of people have already watched it. But watch it again, just do it.

” For you readers a thousand times over”

Watch/read it and you’ll know what I mean.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to be pure

He was staring at me non stop. It was probably my man bun. I was looked at in weird ways by abusers, liars, hypocrites, cheaters with a few thieves thrown in. But they were better people than I was. They were the chosen ones, all hand picked by God himself. Anyone to forfend by what they believed was wrong, were WRONG. There was no messing with those people.

I was covered in shame, trying to hide my face using my hair. Since they weren’t pleased by the man bun, I untied it and let my shoulder length hair cover my face so I could hide behind it. I took a peek through the layers and they weren’t happy at all. It felt like they were casting me out of heaven forever. I left there with hate and promising to grow my hair even longer. I have now become stubbornly hateful because I was jealous of those who had the key to heaven. Since I was out anyways I was gonna be bad to the bone.

After watching Terminator 2 for some motivation on being bad to the bone I got even more upset because the bad guy was liquid metal and there was no way in hell I could be like that. Great, now hell too.

I took a good look at myself in the mirror and realized that I wasn’t casted our of heaven yet. I am not dead yet. I have time to redeem myself and have a clean bun instead of a messy one.I figured I’d start there. I felt better about myself. I went in to work lifting my bun with pride. It was all neatly tucked in and I was getting less dirty look and more clean looks.

I then saw someone walk in with an undercut. How dare he walk in here looking like that?!!! Where does he think he is? This is the middle east. Then walked in a women with a pierced lip. HOW DOUBLE DARE YOU? You both ought to DOUBLE DATE. I then remembered how I was casted out of heaven with mere judgmental looks. I stopped casting them out and smiled at them. They looked at me weirdly. I smiled even more hoping they could the read the smile, which read ” It’s okay, I understand. I know what you go through sometimes. And I’m not casting you out of heaven, don’t worry.” They walked out and we lost 2 potential clients. But at least they walked out knowing I was with them.

I made another decision , to never try and cast anyone out of heaven again or give them judgmental looks. We are all going through our own journey and kindness always wins. I was gentle with myself and It worked. The gentler I became with people, the more they accepted me and I them. I formed a bond with myself and a pact to never judge anyone based on appearance, race, color or food choices ( I’m working on this one ) .

And how did I get my self out of hell after being casted out of heaven?! It was one good decision. And I think that’s something I ought to work on more often. Making better decisions. 

I have rid myself out of the purist mentality a long time ago and have met and made more friends with people from all walks of life. Some who didn’t even walk much. And I’ve accepted them in my heart. It all started with a better decision. So the next time I make a move, I’ll think of the better decision and take that one step forward. We will always be on a high horse and look down at other, the purer we are. Lets rid ourselves of purity. It’s non existent. Making a better decision exists and the next good decision will be to post this.

DONT BE A PURIST. MAKE BETTER DECISIONS ( Note to self )

 

A question to ask our young ones ( and ourselves )

It’s been hectic and I haven’t had the energy to sit and write with focus. I come back home, have dates for dinner. Simplicity is master. As we continue to grow, I remember the one question I’d get a lot as a kid, and that was “What do you want to be when you go up?”. It’s a pretty standard question. We all had that question asked to us by our parents, teachers, relatives, strangers etc.

So as we grow up, we’re in a constant battle with ourselves asking ourselves the same question and I still don’t have the answer. What a hard question. I mean yes, saying doctor, engineer or whatever may sound cool and all, but most of us grow out of it and realize pfft, it wasn’t as cool as it sounded 18 years ago. It’s like the power rangers, at the time it was the coolest thing but once you Youtube it now as I did recently, all I could think was REALLY? power rangers

I liked this? I watched this? pfft, I sure didn’t know better. No disrespect to all doctors and professionals out there who are killing it and changing the world, leaving it a better place than it was. But we average joe’s have no interest in staying up countless years putting up all nighters. We’re just not wired that way. So hats off to all you working professionals. But back to the lame answers we gave ourselves and others to please us all, we realized it’s not what we want and we are under a lot of pressure answering that question. I know I was until recently. “Hady, what do you wanna be when you grow up?” I just wanna sit here play the guitar and read some Archies.

what do I want

Maybe we’re asking the wrong question! Maybe we ought to ask: “Honey, what do you want to do in service of humanity?” BOOM! Nailed it. Ok maybe that question is a little to deep for a 5-6 year old. How about toning it down to : ” Honey, how will yaya help help people? ” or if they’re slightly older: “Honey, what will you do to help people live a better life? Or maybe if you feel bad about erasing that question altogether you ask: “What do you want to be when you grow up and how will that serve humanity?”  When I heard that question, I had soo many answers. Instead of thinking of myself as the dead-end teacher I was now the teacher who was sending out troops of educators out into the world to remove language as a barrier and to save the human race from miscommunication. Maybe then we’d have fewer wars. I was now working with a whole different perspective. It’s not a job title anymore but a mission.

I try to connect that with everything I do. The home business I run is a mission to make this beautiful island a healthier more aware place, the races I do are to maybe inspire a person or two, and to be a fitter and more responsible health conscious person to my community and planet.

I think we’ve been asking the wrong question all along. The question is “What will we do in service of humanity?” “What will we do in service of our planet?” Ask yourself that see how you change the way you see you’re boring dead end 9-5. You’ll suddenly feel like Superman. I sure did, and always try to remember that question when I’m feeling down or having a bad day.