Question part 3

We all thought that Haddaway solved the million dollar question. We were all shaking our heads to it after all.

What is love?
Baby don’t hurt me
Don’t hurt me
No more

But no.

He only said it how he saw it. But that song was very popular not only because we saw Will ferell shaking his head to it but because it was good music that was super relatable. Love is pain right?

I asked someone very dear to me, what is love? They said you are love. As flattering as the answer was, I don’t think I’m completely pain. So what am I then? Am I pain, pleasure and a little bit of awkwardness thrown in the middle?

Some say that Love is indescribable and there have been amazing love stories out there and songs. We all know John Lennon when it comes to love. Ah yes! All you need is love la la la la …All you need is love, love, love love is all you need. This is the same guy who beat both of his wives, abandoned one of his children, verbally abused his gay Jewish manager with homophobic and anti-semitic slurs, and once had a camera crew film him lying naked in his bed for an entire day. There you go ladies and gentlemen John Lennon has defined love for us.

All you need is Love is just too easy because Love wont put food on the table, love won’t helps us stay committed. Saying all we need is love is pure lazy. I’m getting off topic here. We still don’t know what love is.

Is it Romeo and Juliet where if my wife happens to poison herself I follow. Or is it Gandi’s love for his country that made him starve himself till they all listened to him. Some even go as far to say that Love is a choice and we have a say in whether we fall in love or not. Contrary to popular belief where you don’t choose who you fall in love with.

So what the heck is going on here and who do we listen to? It all seems to extreme but our society idealizes love and the problem with idealizing love is that it causes us to develop unrealistic expectations about what love actually is and what it can do for us. These unrealistic expectations then sabotage the very relationships we hold dear in the first place.

It’s a very very hard question where many great people have taken the liberty of answering this question where we all supposedly know what it is.

There is no one answer for what is Love. This question like my other questions here and here is very subjective. Love comes in all forms, shapes and sizes too. There’s that popular but shaped heart, and then theres the real heart that looks pretty messed up. It comes with pipes around it and stuff. Nasty stuff. But there’s a lot of love in there to give.

Love meaning care. Meaning understanding at the hardest of times. Meaning let downs and forgiving. Love is responsibility. Love can be blindsided by lust, fame, money and other interests that come in handy for each individual.

What is love to you ?

what I do when I can’t produce well

There comes days when I don’t have it in me to write. It’s either to late and I’m not in the right state of mind to post anything with good structure, or I didn’t prepare anything mentally because its been such a fast paced day.

I still want to write though, but it will not be as good as my other structured posts. Funny enough its the unstructured ones that get the most views. Most of the times at least. So here’s what I do when I can’t think of anything good to write.

  1. I read blogs. Reading is what helps me become a better writer, so when I’m all dry. I start reading content that interest me or bloggers who I enjoy reading. My current top 2 bloggers are James Altucher’s  blog and Mark manson’s as well. Those 2 are my go to when I’m just out of it.
  2. I read books. I pick up a book and just read through it. It must be a book I enjoy or else I’ll never read it. I like delving into other books and read into the writing style and get some new insight.
  3. Watch a movie/tv series. At times I’ll watch something of interest. I’m a sucker for good quality movies and tv shows. So when I can’t produce any content I go look at content and just immerse into that until the next best thing pops into my head.
  4. Talk to people. I’m lucky to have interesting people to talk to. That in itself is a very rare thing these days. I’m lucky I live with an intellectual human being and work with people that can simply mind boggle me. I love it.
  5. Sleep. When I’m all dry and have the attention spam of a fish, it’s maybe time to hit the sack and restore some more brain cells. I used to sleep 5-6 hours a day. Now I say 8-10  to be on your sharpest. You can absolutely feel the difference. Whoever tells you 5 hours is enough, please slowly back away from them, turn around, walk and don’t look back. Or look at what they have accomplished in life (usually tells you a lot) and are they living to their full potential.

When you find something you love. Surround yourself with it. Even If I can’t write, I look for ways to be better at it without actually writing. If you enjoy building legos then read books on that or watch videos of people playing with legos. If you’re into cooking, then surround yourself with chefs, people who enjoy cooking and watch some good cooking shows.

Surround yourself with what you’re passionate about and it will take care of itself, even when you’re not passionate about doing it everyday.

I’m now feeling the number 5 symptom.

 

JE SUIS HADY

The worst carnage occurred at Bataclan, with at least 80 left dead. A journalist who was at a rock concert there escaped and told CNN: “We lied down on the floor not to get hurt. It was a huge panic. The terrorists shot at us for 10 to 15 minutes. It was a bloodbath.” Julien Pearce didn’t hear the attackers speak, but he said one friend who escaped heard them talk about Iraq and Syria. Later, he said the men were speaking French. Two men dressed in black started shooting and after wounded people fell to the floor, the gunmen shot them again, execution-style, he said.

So this is all the world is talking about lately. Today I was having dinner out and someone nearby was talking to his friend and having a heated conversation and he clearly said: ” Well you know what, f*** France”. It didn’t disappoint me at all. I was more disappointed at the flags being put up. I thought to myself why are we putting up flags? Why is Facebook and Youtube supporting France like no other country? Is their cheese that good?. And why are only certain causes being supported. First it was all about the homos and now this. Who’s deciding what’s important and what should be talked about? AMAZING! how it all works. Yes, I am amazed.

A couple of days ago Beirut had a terrorist attack and no one said a word. Palestine has been through hell ever since people have been calling it Israel. Syria has been through hell for 5 years now. I just can’t keep up anymore. I realized what I was pissed at. I was pissed at the hypocrisy, at the racism, the exaggeration, and how we’re being branched apart. It’s the media I’m pissed off, but there’s no surprise there, we have been brainwashed for years about everything we do. From what we eat to how is the best way to sleep at night.

And no, who ever is terrorizing France will not give two shits about us uniting through Facebook ( sorry, I had to take a second and laugh about that. I pictured them all in a cave looking at Facebook yelling ” THERE’S NO GOD BUT ALLAH, WHY ARE THEY SUPPORTING FRANCE??” If anything I feel that  may actually provoke more attacks, but what do I know I’m not a terrorist. I just terrorize dreams and people’s sense of what is true. I now lost my train of thought)

Let’s not be a herd of sheep and try to think. Lets not follow the trend cause chances are we’ve been told to follow it. Let’s not rush into fitting in. Lets take a moment and pray to be more self aware and for those who don’t pray take a moment in utter silence and figure sh*t out.

Je suis Hady

What tomorrow brings.

I skipped the institute that day and I knew I was going to get in trouble. I just wanted to be out for christmas. Not that I even celebrate christmas,but that was the excuse I gave myself at the time. It was christmas and I wanted to be out and not in class.We all took our chances and all of our parents were called. No one but my parents took this seriously. I remember going to the institute the next day asking,” so who got whipped?”. They all had a very ordinary day. But I felt better already since I was talking about it the next day.

I once injured my foot during a very hard trail race, went back home limping. The next day it was slightly worse, I had to take some pills for the swelling to decrease faster and I hate medication. A couple of days later I felt better.

I once got in trouble at work for leaving early without an explanation. My boss started calling me at 5:15, and I was already at the movies. I finish work at 5:30. I assumed that like every other day I won’t have anything to do so took off. But that one day where I actually took off….Life. I really wasn’t looking forward for the next day. I had to call him after the movie and make up a stupid lie. He told me that he’ll be giving me a warning letter first thing in the morning. I quit that job the same way. I just took off. It was refreshing.

When I sit myself to recalculate how I have been behaving with myself or others, I always look forward to tomorrow. I have hope for tomorrow. Some tomorrow’s are worse than the others, like the time I was expecting a warning letter. But the day after tomorrow was better. And the time I injured my foot, a few tomorrow’s later and it was all good.

They say live in the present. But I at the present moment am not in the best state of mind, or in my best behavior. I am slacking off life at this present moment. I should be producing, but i’m not. So I always look forward to tomorrow. When in pain and in doubt, I think of the sun coming up tomorrow and how much hope, probability and good could come out of tomorrow. So if you’re having a bad day, stop living in the present please and think of tomorrow. Sometimes the present is filled with pain, uncertainty, and total uncoolness.

If today hasn’t turned out to be your day then live for tomorrow my fellow readers. Live for the sunset, that in itself is a miracle happening in plain sight. Tomorrow always gives me hope.

tomorrow

Wine and swine ( why I should be mocked )

I walk into the hall and they sit in pairs while I take a seat next to the sofa right next to the window. No one dares to choose a seat, they just take the first seat that meets their knees. Yes, the seats reach their knees. As I glance outside, I see no scenery. Just mud and dirt. I hear whispers all around me. They’re probably discussing why I walked in with 20 bananas. Wouldn’t you be thinking the same thing?

A smoker walks in and tells me how those bananas can kill me and then proceeds to the dining table to have a bacon and cheese sandwich. Good for the heart. Good stuff. I then start recording my surroundings and explain what I’m seeing here is an example of mass hypnosis. Some laugh and some were furious with me. A person told me that if I didn’t delete that video he’d never talk to me again. I then post it on Youtube and he’s quiet about it. We still talk. He just says I should have asked him first. I tell him that I’m trying to do others a favor and create awareness about the condition he is suffering from. “That’s not nice” he says. Did I just say that out loud? I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. Alright fine mock me.

I go to see my friend. He tells me that he’s throwing a party. I say “cool”. But I can’t come. His wife insists she serves flesh and wine. I can’t be around that? “What kind of flesh are we talking about,” I ask? Swine. Okay, that’s okay. And what kind of wine? Alcoholic. I can’t make it. It’s a matter of principle. Then why do you hang around us then? It doesn’t mean that I have to let go of all my values cause I hang with you people. I’ve already given up a fair portion of values being your friends. I think I said that out loud. That wasn’t very nice.  I just don’t do wine and swine.

I later walk into the kitchen and make a nice concoction of fresh produce with some super seeds. I try to feed the baby hanging at the side of the kitchen and the parents run to stop me. They tell me their kids don’t eat that stuff. The child looks confusingly at the parents, so he scares away from the fresh blend I’ve made. The baby then puts up a face and it’s one of those faces that you know tears may come next. So they hurry up, grab a small carton of chocolate milk, pop it and give it to the baby. The baby is fine now. For dinner I made a spinach artichoke olive avocado salad. The baby then walks towards me and gives the salad a curious look and has never seen anything like this before. I take the fork and poke a few leaves of spinach, but make sure it grabs an avocado slice and an olive on the way down. Then slightly dip it on my homemade raw honey mustard dressing with mango. Heading towards the baby’s mouth in slow motion pretending its an alien’s aircraft landing into space for the first time, it is then shoved away by the parents telling me I’m no longer to ever feed the baby again. They then fry up some sausages and feed it to him. I take off.

I decide to go home and cry it out. But my spirit wont let me. It tells I have comprehended far too much for me to be put in tears. So instead it tells me to ask for more. I go out the next day, and look at the world around me. Their spirits are tinier than mine. Shocker. I am beginning to see through. I see spirits. I then remember the scene in the sixth sense where the boy tells Bruce willis ” I see dead people”

dead people

I see spirits. And mine tells me that the same way little kids cannot simply comprehend what adults are going through on a day-to-day basis that the little spirits cannot simply comprehend the transformation that it has made inside me. I look around and I humbly fall on my knees, knowing I have to be gentle. And I have to be mocked, hated and misunderstood If I want to try and grow other spirits.

Stay strong it tells me.

The one word that keeps us from greatness

He was having a smoke. It was the weekend and he was out. It’s called social smoking nowadays. It helps with blending in also helps in striking a conversation with strangers, (e.g. do you have a light? oh! Zippo, nice. Where’d you get that one from? Or would you like a light? ). I was having a hamburger and it was the weekend and I was entitled to it. I deserve it, don’t I? I eat healthy all week long and I need my weekly treat. But I wake up feeling horrible the next morning. Heavy and sluggish, maybe cause I ordered the triple whopper with cheese and bacon. But it’s my treat and I only eat that once a week so I might as well go all out. That was 2012 though, I’m sure i’d feel the same now if I did so.

The B student keeps getting B’s cause he just can’t bothered to push through and study more. That isn’t his goal in life. But my goal is to be as healthy as I can . What about my treat? You know what they say : ” Everything in moderation”. That right that’s a recipe for disaster. Actually no, wait its not a disaster, its balance. It’s just a recipe for mediocrity. You wont be at your very best, but you’ll be okay. It’s fine if you don’t want to be world class but what if you want to be really good at it? And better than everyone else? Then moderation is what’s keeping you from it.

So finally the World health organization (WHO) has linked the consumption of meat with cancer and various diseases. But the media tells you, “like my grandma used to say everything in moderation”.

I eat 99% plants ( which means fruits, vegetables, legumes, grains and seeds ). I have never felt better, sharper and conscious. But they tell me to have some animal products, you know moderation. Why would I want to eat something that may or may not cause cancer ? Would you tell someone smoke in moderation? Drink in moderation? Sleep in moderation? Watch tv in moderation? . Probably yes. That’s why we’re not at our best. Quit smoking. Quit animal products. Quit late nights. Quit Tv and watch as you flourish and rise above mediocrity. Every time I stay true to myself and stick to committing a 100%, I feel better a 100%, as soon as I fall back to moderation and tell myself, it’s okay, stay up and watch tv, browse longer, I end up feeling not a 100% and that’s not how I want to function in my life.

So, if you want to be average at anything then do it in moderation.

What is balance anyways? Who made the rules? What’s balance for you isn’t balance for me, it all depends on our life goals. I want 100% a 100% of the time, I just have to stick.

Another death post…and the comfort of it.

death2

So when you die, will they cry for you?

Here’s an example: “what if your best friend died. and you had to…”
These are usually the examples that I give my students and they absolutely hate it. I tend to enjoy these examples because it makes you think in the worse case scenarios and how to deal with them. No, I don’t only look at the negative side of life or the dark side, but I strongly believe that the most difficult parts of our lives are the most defining moments. So when I tell somebody, “when/If  your loved one dies, how would you react?” I expect a very raw and heartfelt reply.

I expect language to come singing out of their soul, and it has happened a lot of the time. Now, most of the time I get the usual ” let’s not talk about such bad things” but really think about it. Death is defining and really makes you think and think deep.

I believe that something beautiful awaits me after death, and I have faith and I think that the more I welcome it, the better quality of life I have, I don’t welcome it in the sense that I cross the highway without looking. NO. I am a pretty sensible guy, most of the time at least and I am cautious and I do care about my health ( those of you regular readers should know this by now ).

I’d love to reach my near death and smile with a high :D…because I’ll want to meet God and because I’d want to meet him then I’m pretty sure he’ll want to meet me too. But we all hate death and death is such a hard thing, I don’t wanna die just yet, but I’ll want to be ready for it, so hope all this mental prep work helps.

To those non believers and to those who feel like what I wrote above is nonsense, well I hope you feel what I’m feeling right and that’s all I can say but I have a little something for you as well ;).A beautiful poem I came across by Chief Tecumseh that I’d like to share with you. Read till the very end.

“So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.

Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none.

When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself.

Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools
and robs the spirit of its vision. When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.”

Happy reading.

About Bob

Everyone loves Bob’s parties.

Even before you got there you knew it was going to be great.

Bob would always call you the day before to check you were still coming and to make sure you knew that you could bring someone with you if you wanted to.

bob phone call

Bob would always greet you at the door with a big smile and introduce you to everyone in the room before leaving you to talk to someone who had similar interests.

minion smile

Not only did Bob manage to pay attention to me but he also managed to spread himself around the group.

Minions people

I was amazed at the wide variety of people Bob attracted to his parties. His parents and their friends were always there and there were always plenty of children crawling through adult legs.

He always got a DJ who managed to keep everyone happy. One minute we were dancing to “Rock around the clock” and the next I was singing along to my favorite new releases.

minion dj

I watched Bob at parties and was always amazed that he was ‘in the moment’ and had focused whoever he was with.

Bob was not a host who was always looking over the shoulder of the guests.

Nothing ever seemed to be too much trouble for Bob.

If you needed something, a drink, anything, he had an uncanny talent for anticipating your needs and turning up just as you were about to try to find whatever you needed.

dirnk

At Bob’s parties everyone felt special.

minion special

Bob certainly held awesome parties. He seemed to get a real thrill out of seeing everyone else have a great time.

A little something I learnt from my Les mills Body attack training. Try and be your best most authentic self and you’ll always make others feel just as special. Cause when you’re feeling good, you just can’t help but spread that vibe.

Do you need to be like Bob in any aspect of your life? Work? family? business?

I’ll always think of Bob when I’m teaching classes, coaching, and running my food and smoothie business cause Bob knows that the people are our life blood and the more attention we pay to them, to more special we make them feel, the better we do in life. So Bob is my bar. I wanna be like Bob.

The people in our lives

The older I grow ( and put in mind I’m in my mid twenties now, but if you are reading this in 2030, then I’m older and this post will sound wiser ) the more I realize how temporarily most things are, especially the people in our lives.

As an expat here, I mainly mingled with locals at first but  as I became an instructor at an international language center I have come to know many amazing people who have touched my life in many positive and a few negative ways ( the negative ones are great life lessons).

Being an expat and working with expats has left me with so much disappointment up till now cause of us leaving and traveling back home or just traveling but that has taught me so much and because of that I’m more compassionate now.

People are just in and out my life, like it’s a doormat for God’s sake. Students I like, colleagues I like, people who wash my car and cut my hair. What is this life? But again, I have embraced that now and come to terms that we are not here to stay. Not for our families, friends and not to this dear and horrific world. ( Read my post on death here) .

I now try as much as I can to positively leave a good mark on the people I meet and to be some sort of inspiration and impact them in a positive way. After losing a few good people to life ( not death ) I now know that time is even more scarce than I’ve realized. I wanna be like a positive beam of ray to the people I encounter and I want to be remembered in a positive way.

I do have haters, and I know it, and they’ve exposed themselves but that’s great, and I have embraced them as well. I’m very controversial and I invite debates most of the time, so that’s alright, if I’m hated for that then I’ll live and probably have a goodnight’s sleep as well.

Be a beam of positivity and sunshine to all those you meet. Keep an open mind, praise when needed, hug more often, smile 24/7 and turn that facial expression into a contagious sick smile that everywhere you go, you leave as if it’s a joker’s asylum.

people 2

This is another short post and hope you’ve all enjoyed it. Now go and be awesome.

Healthy Hack

One simple hack that will get you healthier.   
Here’s one super easy and effective way to get healthier and that is ………*drum roll*……… Don’t buy unhealthy food for your home 😊😄! 
Boom! Done! You’re healthy! 

Let me emphasize a little more, what you keep around you is what you go for, so how about having some healthy foods around you all the time. 

If you’re going to buy an unhealthy snack, then buy it, eat and get it over with but do no under any circumstances take it into your home.
Here are some guidelines you can follow to NOT getting any junk to the house : 

1) As mentioned above, eat your unhealthy snack outside the house: when you crave something and it’s driving you bizarre, then buy it, eat it and keep it away from home so it doesn’t stay there for you to look at again.
2) Do not bring back unhealthy leftovers: if you ordered a Molten chocolate lava cake for your cheat meal, and you happen to eat half only, good for you, throw the rest. More good than harm has been done ( I, in no way advocate throwing out food unless it’s damaging and the food contains minimal to none nutrients) . If a birthday was celebrated at home and you happened to have a huge remainder of the cake, then by all means “sharing is caring” . (Note: only serve a slice per person)
3) Avoid the mega sale dessert bargains that always happen to be there weirdly! : Please don’t think efficiency but instead think diabetes, obesity, lethargy and non nutrient dense at all. 
4) Buy this instead: what I mean is for every unhealthy food you avoid, try and substitute it with a healthy alternative. (E.g canola oil instead vegetable oil, fruits instead of candy, water instead of soda etc)

 
   

Hope this post helps! Here’s to a healthier you! ✋🏻