The stalker I wasn’t

I was the one who’d walk in Universal city alone. It’s called Universal city because it’s a very universal place. People from all over the universe come to walk there. I was seen with some people but not a lot and was always finding something new to do on social media.

I later got a message saying this, :I . That is what they call a neutral smiley. I replied back saying Hi? . Then got nothing back. Told her I missed her and it’s been a while.  I asked “are you okay?” She replied a day later saying “LOL”. It was a Friday night. and she asked me why was I texting her on a Friday night, lonely much? She must have been confused about who text who. I said that I replied to her message and that’s why I’m texting. She then told me that my loneliness has turned me into stalker and I should stop stalking her. That was the end of the conversation.

I began wondering why would anyone in their right minds say such a thing? I did put in the probability that she wasn’t all there. But what if she was all there? Was it maybe because I walked a lot at Universal city alone?  Or it was because  it is a Universal place and I shouldn’t have been there alone? Maybe I wasn’t all there.

Then I deviated away from the stalker part and thought about how lonely people can be interpreted. Not just as a stalker but many sort of things as well. Weird, lonely ( which has become a modern day curse word) , loser, freak, loner?! 

We nowadays have become terrified of being alone not just because it’s scary but because of the way its perceived . Its looked upon as wrong, bad and very antisocial. It’s why many are depressed, stressed and in extreme cases suicidal. We don’t know how to be alone and that can be a dangerous thing.

Here are 7 things I do when I’m alone to keep from not being a stalker :

  1. Turn off all social media. When I’m alone being on social media is like calling depression my way. It’s just bad. When we’re alone and we see people supposedly living such brilliant, amazing shiny lives. How would that make me feel? I start wanting to visit countries, be places with people, marry celebrities and own a mansion. Staying away from social media is something I do for the sake of sanity. Phones all turned off and signed out of everywhere. Its toxic I tell you
  2. Write. Or type, I’m a horrible writer, I have really bad hand writing and when I start writing and look at my handwriting, it just discourages me and I stop. So I type instead. Type about what I’m feeling, things I want to do, make plans. Just open up an empty canvas and type. I guess that makes me a typist.
  3. Read. I read up on about how to be lonely better. I read interesting stories. What I always suggest to my students is to find something they’re passionate about and read up on about it. There’s no such thing as I don’t like reading. We all have an interest that we would LOVE to read about. Cars, football, games, self help ( don’t know why its called self help if the book is one that’ll be helping you. How about help book? ) . Maybe pick up a magazine, search blogs, just try it. Or ask a friend to lend you a book, sometimes helps in starting you off with reading.
  4. Call my best friend. Whenever I’m bored or have nothing to do, I end up calling my best friend and we just talk and talk and talk. It’s amazing what wonders friends can do. And if you’re really lonely and don’t have a best friend or your best friend isn’t much of a talker then don’t do this point. Or shoot me an email.
  5. Ponder. It’s nice to have some quiet time to myself, where I just wonder about the future, think of tomorrow and it’s amazing benefits. Or just sit in silent and see what ideas come up. If anything is great, I write them down so I can write about them or talk about them even.
  6. Walk. Walking is always a great thing to do when I’m alone. Especially when the weather is good. You just can’t beat a good old walk.
  7. Movies. If I have something good to watch a movie works like a charm on me. I put it on and it’s just me and the movie. Or even better, I go to the movies, get a large popcorn just for ME and enjoy. Why do people even go the movies together when you can’t even talk. Some people won’t even go the movies alone? Really? You want someone you know sitting beside you? Lone-a-phobic much?

And those are the main things that I do to not stalk my fellow social media people.

Now I really want to go to Universal city.

city walk

What tomorrow brings.

I skipped the institute that day and I knew I was going to get in trouble. I just wanted to be out for christmas. Not that I even celebrate christmas,but that was the excuse I gave myself at the time. It was christmas and I wanted to be out and not in class.We all took our chances and all of our parents were called. No one but my parents took this seriously. I remember going to the institute the next day asking,” so who got whipped?”. They all had a very ordinary day. But I felt better already since I was talking about it the next day.

I once injured my foot during a very hard trail race, went back home limping. The next day it was slightly worse, I had to take some pills for the swelling to decrease faster and I hate medication. A couple of days later I felt better.

I once got in trouble at work for leaving early without an explanation. My boss started calling me at 5:15, and I was already at the movies. I finish work at 5:30. I assumed that like every other day I won’t have anything to do so took off. But that one day where I actually took off….Life. I really wasn’t looking forward for the next day. I had to call him after the movie and make up a stupid lie. He told me that he’ll be giving me a warning letter first thing in the morning. I quit that job the same way. I just took off. It was refreshing.

When I sit myself to recalculate how I have been behaving with myself or others, I always look forward to tomorrow. I have hope for tomorrow. Some tomorrow’s are worse than the others, like the time I was expecting a warning letter. But the day after tomorrow was better. And the time I injured my foot, a few tomorrow’s later and it was all good.

They say live in the present. But I at the present moment am not in the best state of mind, or in my best behavior. I am slacking off life at this present moment. I should be producing, but i’m not. So I always look forward to tomorrow. When in pain and in doubt, I think of the sun coming up tomorrow and how much hope, probability and good could come out of tomorrow. So if you’re having a bad day, stop living in the present please and think of tomorrow. Sometimes the present is filled with pain, uncertainty, and total uncoolness.

If today hasn’t turned out to be your day then live for tomorrow my fellow readers. Live for the sunset, that in itself is a miracle happening in plain sight. Tomorrow always gives me hope.


Back to the future!

I look back to the past and think man those were the days!!! NOT. I didn’t really enjoy my past and I’m having so much more fun now. And that’s the point right? To be happier and to be content with where you are now. I watched back to the future on video (VHS ) but now I can watch it on blu ray! And I can hoover board if I felt like it. Back then I used to have to do homework..well, let me rephrase that. I used to pretend to do homework. I had a gift of staring at the ceiling as told by my parents. I think back and say wow.I’d actually sit in my room for hours and do nothing and I still didn’t get any homework done.

School work was boring for me, but I sure loved school. It was the highlight of my day everyday until the weekend came, then I was probably grounded for something I did a while ago or I wasn’t allowed to go out after 9 etc .Then the week started and I’d go kukoo on my teachers and everyone else. But no homework for me please.

I have seen michael J. Fox’s transformation from a healthy good looking guy/actor to a Parkinson’s patient.The bright side is due to this he now runs the Michael J. foundation for Parkinson’s research and they have an awesome goal which is “The Michael J. Fox Foundation is dedicated to finding a cure for Parkinson’s disease through an aggressively funded research agenda and to ensuring the development of improved therapies for those living with Parkinson’s today“. Maybe you should donate and maybe I will too. I think I most definitely will, It’s nice to do something good for the good of humanity and its even nicer when you’re not affected by it, but out hearts still go out to those suffering. I don’t think I’d ever donated to a cause I had nothing in common with nor do I have much knowledge of and don’t personally know anyone suffering from it. I usually pay to get some sort of raffle or I’m getting something back like entry to a carnival.We all change, some for the better, some for the worse and some for the better in certain aspects of their lives and some for the worse in certain aspects. I’d like to think I changed to the better… I think. No, I’m sure, I certainly do not agree with a lot of what Hady Jr did. But would I change any of it? I don’t think I wanna answer that. What’s the point. I would have been someone else. And you wouldn’t be reading this. Then you’d all be missing out on a pattern-less post. You’d probably yell something like “BACK TO THE FUTURE HADY”