I’ll have a burger when I finish my diet

Its 9:49 pm now and I need to go to bed early so here’s 15 minutes of my time.

A client called me today and told me she wanted to try my smoothies but was on a diet and she was going to finish it in a week and she’ll call back then. I was silent and said “okay” . I can’t emphasize stronger on how a “diet” is just such a waste of life.

For the Love of God, just eat real whole foods. Do not go on a diet PLEASE! Stop eating crap, stop drinking gas, stop drooling over fake saucy food and start eating food that was intended to be eaten by human beings. SIMPLE!

It’s so simple that we complicate it and tell ourselves “No, no, no… I have to diet”.  I have to eat cucumbers for breakfast, carrots for lunch, drink diet coke and then binge on packaged foods when I’m done. Yes, that’s what will do.

Here’s a tip for you all that has done wonders for me: When you start a new dietary lifestyle, binge, binge and binge some more on the good stuff. Eat till you’re gonna explode and once you look at your favorite chocolate bar, you’ll wanna puke. It helped me, try it.

Here’s what happens and I’ve seen it over and over and over and OVER again. Mr Jon decides to go on a diet, has a meal plan. Follows it for a month and does great, and now its time to go back to eating what he ate cause he deserves it. Oh, and guess what happens, he blows back up. Ever seen a Mr Jon ?

Here’s madame Tussade and she wants to go on a diet. So she goes to a nutrionist and she gets a super blunt meal plan that she absolutely hates. She follows it and loses weight, feels better but can’t bear any more cucumbers with chick peas for dinner, so goes back to being the madame Tussade we all love and starts feeding us her yummy oily cooked food with extra salt to hit the spot.

How about Mr yasser!? He starts eating nuts for dinner cause he wants to lose weight and then just gets a shawarma again.


it’s 10:06 and I took a break to burp the baby, not bad!