How to be pure

He was staring at me non stop. It was probably my man bun. I was looked at in weird ways by abusers, liars, hypocrites, cheaters with a few thieves thrown in. But they were better people than I was. They were the chosen ones, all hand picked by God himself. Anyone to forfend by what they believed was wrong, were WRONG. There was no messing with those people.

I was covered in shame, trying to hide my face using my hair. Since they weren’t pleased by the man bun, I untied it and let my shoulder length hair cover my face so I could hide behind it. I took a peek through the layers and they weren’t happy at all. It felt like they were casting me out of heaven forever. I left there with hate and promising to grow my hair even longer. I have now become stubbornly hateful because I was jealous of those who had the key to heaven. Since I was out anyways I was gonna be bad to the bone.

After watching Terminator 2 for some motivation on being bad to the bone I got even more upset because the bad guy was liquid metal and there was no way in hell I could be like that. Great, now hell too.

I took a good look at myself in the mirror and realized that I wasn’t casted our of heaven yet. I am not dead yet. I have time to redeem myself and have a clean bun instead of a messy one.I figured I’d start there. I felt better about myself. I went in to work lifting my bun with pride. It was all neatly tucked in and I was getting less dirty look and more clean looks.

I then saw someone walk in with an undercut. How dare he walk in here looking like that?!!! Where does he think he is? This is the middle east. Then walked in a women with a pierced lip. HOW DOUBLE DARE YOU? You both ought to DOUBLE DATE. I then remembered how I was casted out of heaven with mere judgmental looks. I stopped casting them out and smiled at them. They looked at me weirdly. I smiled even more hoping they could the read the smile, which read ” It’s okay, I understand. I know what you go through sometimes. And I’m not casting you out of heaven, don’t worry.” They walked out and we lost 2 potential clients. But at least they walked out knowing I was with them.

I made another decision , to never try and cast anyone out of heaven again or give them judgmental looks. We are all going through our own journey and kindness always wins. I was gentle with myself and It worked. The gentler I became with people, the more they accepted me and I them. I formed a bond with myself and a pact to never judge anyone based on appearance, race, color or food choices ( I’m working on this one ) .

And how did I get my self out of hell after being casted out of heaven?! It was one good decision. And I think that’s something I ought to work on more often. Making better decisions.¬†

I have rid myself out of the purist mentality a long time ago and have met and made more friends with people from all walks of life. Some who didn’t even walk much. And I’ve accepted them in my heart. It all started with a better decision. So the next time I make a move, I’ll think of the better decision and take that one step forward. We will always be on a high horse and look down at other, the purer we are. Lets rid ourselves of purity. It’s non existent. Making a better decision exists and the next good decision will be to post this.

DONT BE A PURIST. MAKE BETTER DECISIONS ( Note to self )

 

Do you have this sleeping problem as well?

I woke up at 6am and started my day. Drank water, exercised, prayed, read, and went to work. I left the house and it was absolutely hot, I hated myself. The sun was bothering me, the cars were getting too close to me and the traffic lights seemed to be making a practical joke out of me.

I slept at 12 am and woke up at 6 am. Pretty good right? Every time I get 5-6 hours of sleep, I end up making the worse decisions and get annoyed at uncontrollable things like the sun. I don’t function with coffee and/or tea, that’s not the way I roll. If I did have any then I’d be anxiously annoyed at all of the above. I also realize that I don’t handle conflicts well when I don’t get enough sleep. For instance, a student asks me a question in class and I get annoyed. Why are you going off-topic? I also become a little melodramatic, If I hear two people in the teacher’s room whisper I feel like shouting at loud “You’re talking about me aren’t you?, Just admit it. Aren’t you? Huh?”

Today I had 9 hours of sleep and I left home and stared at the sun for a couple of seconds, and smiled. The traffic jam seemed enjoyable and I used the time to calmly listen to podcasts. The traffic lights opened up its arms to me and said ” You have smiled upon us and for that, we give you the green lights”. I go to work and look at paper work and say “that’s it”.

I think most if not 99% of society is under slept due to distractions or in my case because when I come back from work at 9:15 pm I don’t feel like going right to bed. I wanna have a conversation,I wanna read and maybe also write a little. So I end up doing a little of all 3 and hate myself in the process. But last night I slept at 10 and woke and did a little of all 3 and loved myself for it and it’s just 10 am. I can even nap a little too.

I end this with a quote: ” Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you need less sleep, if they do, then walk away and never look back”