I’m afraid a lot

I’m driving down the road and I’m afraid.

I go to work and I’m afraid

I go to meet a new person and I’m afraid.

I’m always a little scared.

Never of life. Well, rarely at least. I’m mainly afraid of myself.

I’m afraid of the harm I could do. Of someone’s feeling I may hurt, am I over stepping anyone, am I cheating my way through life with methods such as lies, deceit, and indirect bribery. Those things haunt me and sometimes even keep me up at night.

I want to be better. I want to be at service. I want to like everyone and be liked by everyone in return. It’s hard. But everyday I work at it. I start my day with gratitude and always think how I’d like to be treated and treat others in return.

I’m not afraid of risks, or afraid of what people say, think and react. Most of the time at least. If you know me or have been following me you’ll  know that I’m pretty fearless and live my life pretty close to the edge.

After having 2 kids I thought my life was over as I knew it. But I started taking greater risks. It’s scary but it is paying off. I feel like now more than ever, I need to do what I think is right. What my gut thinks is right. What my heart thinks is right. What kind of role model would I be to my kids if I didn’t?  Or to my wife?

I want to raise the bar. It’s scary. I need to do it with caution. A year ago, this post would be super scary. But now. I have raised the bar. I need to constantly keep doing this. You need to too.

I need you to be afraid, then I need you to do it. But with caution. We all need you more than ever now. Follow your heart and gut. Don’t you dare correct it after you’ve heard it the first time.

As a teacher I always find that the students get the correct answer the first time in the exam and as soon as they revise it, they rub it off and choose the wrong answer. Now I always tell my class, please answer it once and leave it. You’re heart knows best. Your gut knows best. You know best the first time. It’s when you over analyze what your insides are trying to tell you and try to navigate away, it fails you as well.

One shot. One life. Just once.

The stalker I wasn’t

I was the one who’d walk in Universal city alone. It’s called Universal city because it’s a very universal place. People from all over the universe come to walk there. I was seen with some people but not a lot and was always finding something new to do on social media.

I later got a message saying this, :I . That is what they call a neutral smiley. I replied back saying Hi? . Then got nothing back. Told her I missed her and it’s been a while.  I asked “are you okay?” She replied a day later saying “LOL”. It was a Friday night. and she asked me why was I texting her on a Friday night, lonely much? She must have been confused about who text who. I said that I replied to her message and that’s why I’m texting. She then told me that my loneliness has turned me into stalker and I should stop stalking her. That was the end of the conversation.

I began wondering why would anyone in their right minds say such a thing? I did put in the probability that she wasn’t all there. But what if she was all there? Was it maybe because I walked a lot at Universal city alone?  Or it was because  it is a Universal place and I shouldn’t have been there alone? Maybe I wasn’t all there.

Then I deviated away from the stalker part and thought about how lonely people can be interpreted. Not just as a stalker but many sort of things as well. Weird, lonely ( which has become a modern day curse word) , loser, freak, loner?! 

We nowadays have become terrified of being alone not just because it’s scary but because of the way its perceived . Its looked upon as wrong, bad and very antisocial. It’s why many are depressed, stressed and in extreme cases suicidal. We don’t know how to be alone and that can be a dangerous thing.

Here are 7 things I do when I’m alone to keep from not being a stalker :

  1. Turn off all social media. When I’m alone being on social media is like calling depression my way. It’s just bad. When we’re alone and we see people supposedly living such brilliant, amazing shiny lives. How would that make me feel? I start wanting to visit countries, be places with people, marry celebrities and own a mansion. Staying away from social media is something I do for the sake of sanity. Phones all turned off and signed out of everywhere. Its toxic I tell you
  2. Write. Or type, I’m a horrible writer, I have really bad hand writing and when I start writing and look at my handwriting, it just discourages me and I stop. So I type instead. Type about what I’m feeling, things I want to do, make plans. Just open up an empty canvas and type. I guess that makes me a typist.
  3. Read. I read up on about how to be lonely better. I read interesting stories. What I always suggest to my students is to find something they’re passionate about and read up on about it. There’s no such thing as I don’t like reading. We all have an interest that we would LOVE to read about. Cars, football, games, self help ( don’t know why its called self help if the book is one that’ll be helping you. How about help book? ) . Maybe pick up a magazine, search blogs, just try it. Or ask a friend to lend you a book, sometimes helps in starting you off with reading.
  4. Call my best friend. Whenever I’m bored or have nothing to do, I end up calling my best friend and we just talk and talk and talk. It’s amazing what wonders friends can do. And if you’re really lonely and don’t have a best friend or your best friend isn’t much of a talker then don’t do this point. Or shoot me an email.
  5. Ponder. It’s nice to have some quiet time to myself, where I just wonder about the future, think of tomorrow and it’s amazing benefits. Or just sit in silent and see what ideas come up. If anything is great, I write them down so I can write about them or talk about them even.
  6. Walk. Walking is always a great thing to do when I’m alone. Especially when the weather is good. You just can’t beat a good old walk.
  7. Movies. If I have something good to watch a movie works like a charm on me. I put it on and it’s just me and the movie. Or even better, I go to the movies, get a large popcorn just for ME and enjoy. Why do people even go the movies together when you can’t even talk. Some people won’t even go the movies alone? Really? You want someone you know sitting beside you? Lone-a-phobic much?

And those are the main things that I do to not stalk my fellow social media people.

Now I really want to go to Universal city.

city walk

How they digged their own graves

There he was. Smoking his way to the grave. A pretty good way to go if, if you ask me. If you enjoy it. Until you’re almost at the grave and then you really don’t wanna go. It’s not that you just don’t want to go anymore, cause who does? It’s what happens to you before you go. He was detoriating slowly. Deteriorate here means die slowly and painfully without you having any control over it and no amount of painkillers can stop it, but maybe deteriorate it even more ( make it slower ) which is bad news really. You’re just staying alive to be punished. Maybe that will make it easier after you’ve died already.

I asked him after his second diagnosis of confirmed cancer if it was from all the smoking, but he was quick to reply “NO”. I’ve been smoking all my life, can’t be it. If it was, it would have killed me a long time ago. But his premature aging and wrinkly cheeks were signs that this was coming sooner or later. Bless him.

This other guy I knew was convinced that he’s healthy and that his oversized gut was genetic and that it runs in the family. After a stroke he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol ( heart disease) and high blood pressure. He was later served the same food he always ate and refused to make any dietary changes or take medication because he was healthy and the stroke was just an incident that had occurred and was unavoidable. The next stroke he had numbed half his face leaving him partially blind and they had to amputate one of his legs due to poor blood circulation. He wished the stroke took him all the way to the grave instead of the emergency room.

What did these 2 stubborn but loving men ( to their families ) have in common ?

Well for one they became a damn burden to their loved ones and society as  a whole. They were living on the concept that if we have all done this for a long time then it’s perfectly fine. Their loved ones now had to take special care of them.

I like how the word “special” can mean the exact opposite depending on context. You’re a special boy, can mean you are mentally retarded ( literally and/or figuratively) and it can mean you’re wonderful ( Extraordinary). Their kind of “special” treatment led to others being handicapped by serving them in “special ways” no one had the pleasure of doing.

What does this teach me though?

It teaches me to look past culture and society. It teaches me that cultural habits can be very damaging if done long enough and it can damage myself and others around me in the long run. It teaches me that to deteriorate through cultural habits is bad. It teaches me to have an open mind when someone tries to teach me or even tell me something new and not be dogmatic about it. It teaches me also to be bare the pain of seeing dogmatic and stubborn loved ones dig a hole while I can’t do a single thing about it. That’s always the hardest part.

Good news for the diabetic dude though. The next stroke took him. Not sure if it was good or bad news for his loved ones. Maybe a little bit of both. A sort of a mixed feeling.
God rest their souls, and ours too while I’m at prayer mode.Amen.

The movie that distracted me from writing

It’s one of those movies where you can’t turn down or if you’re reading the book then can’t put down. I have run out of words to put in a good post recently but will write regardless.

It’s about.. well it’s about a lot of stuff. Patriotism, friendship, pride, love, family and career. It’s a great combination of events going in, its fast paced but at the same time it gives you a little time to get you emotionally involved with the characters.  Now I’ve seen hundreds and hundreds of movies and will continue to watch even hundreds more. I love it. It has my attention and it gives me something to think about. I think I’ll start writing about movies that are worth writing about and that can be seen by all ages. And that probably has a good moral.

So what movie/book am I talking about?! kite

Have you guessed it yet?

runner

Ok you may guessed it and you may have not. It’s kite runner!! The reason I write about this movie was because I just happen to watch while I was writing up a blog post and it completely deviated me from typing anymore. I mean completely. I watched this movie with ads. I forgot how good it was and I never watch movies ads. Yuck ads!!

Anyways, for those who may have seen or read, then you can read along. Those who haven’t if you don’t like spoilers then don’t I guess. But please watch or read it. Like for real.

The story takes place in the 197o’s in Afghanistan when it was all sunshine and rainbows before the war and the Taliban. It’s about 3 characters mainly, Ameer, Baba and Hassan. As children, Ameer and Hassan were inseparable; their long days under azure Kabul skies often spent getting into innocent mischief or preparing for the highly anticipated kite-fighting tournament. When the day of the tournament arrives, however, a glorious victory is quickly offset by an act of betrayal that ultimately serves as the catalyst for catastrophe. Not long after that fateful day, Amir moves away to America, leaving his old friend behind just as the country turn into a war zone. Two decades later, Amir returns to Afghanistan to find his beloved homeland has now fallen under the iron-fisted rule of the Taliban. Still, all hope for redemption hasn’t been lost just yet, because now that Amir stands face to face with the irrepressible secrets that he struggled so vigilantly to bury, he will receive one last chance to make peace with the past, and lay the groundwork for a brighter future.

Now, I haven’t read the book but some say that the movie is soulless compare to the book! WHAT?!. Man, then the book is definitely bound to turn me into a 13 year old girl. If you’re into reading and have the time. Buy the book, read it, get soft and feel better for you have read a masterpiece.

Not enough time and prefer a movie, watch it, turn into an 18 year old literature student that may or may not feel this emptiness in his/her heart towards the end of the movie. The movie is a little fast paced, and I’m sure by now tons of people have already watched it. But watch it again, just do it.

” For you readers a thousand times over”

Watch/read it and you’ll know what I mean.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How I stay trim year round

I’m trim all year long with sometimes little to no exercise. I remember winter last year I was super busy and was ordering and eating out every single day, and of course what do we do on the weekend? You guessed it We eat out some more! I gained 8 kilos, and no not muscle but by fat! Fat that gave me man boobs, a horrible belly and maybe a cute butt.

It was a harsh time. Then I cut down eating out to 90%, eating the same exact foods I eat out but home made. I lost half the weight. I was shocked. I’m eating the same amounts and eating the same type of foods, why did I gain weight at the time? It’s the sh** they put in our foods. That’s what got me big. I really hated my man boobs. I’m glad to have regular boobs right now. Really puts me at ease. Then came ramadan and I went like 80%-90% raw and lost all the weight that I put on. I was literally stuffing myself with bananas, mangoes, avocados and watermelon. What a beautiful month of raw foods. Miss it. I vlogged about it almost daily on my Youtube channel, you can check out the series right here

So what do I eat to stay lean all year round? And mind you, I’m a foodie. I’m all about the vegan dishes that make you go…mmmmmm mmmmmm mmmmmmmmm. Here’s a typical day in the life of what I eat. In the morning I always start with a liter of water. Then depending on if I’m working out or not I eat. If I am then I just have a date or 2, or nothing. Smash in a liter of water while and then hit breakfast. Breakfast consists typically of fruits. I usually make a smoothie in the morning. Here’s a recipe that’s a staple for me. Coconut water/milk or regular water, 12 bananas, blueberries and chia seeds. The base is always at least 10 bananas, the rest I just throw in what I have that day.

Lunch would be a cup of rice ( a cup of rice is what some cook for a whole family of 4) , some steamed veggies, or a vegan stew along side that.

Dinner maybe another 10 bananas, or some baked sweet potatoes. Sometimes around 3-4. It’s great with cinnamon and brown sugar. Ahhh man, I’m drooling.  But here’s the thing most of my food has very very very little to no oil or salt on it. We condiment our food using spices, herbs, lime, homemade sauce/dressing etc. My food is always naturally low in fat, and high in carbs. I don’t mean processed carbs, but whole food plants. All from mama nature. Mother’s always got it right.

This is a typical day for me and slightly varies from time to time.

Welcome to the high carb world where restrictions of portions isn’t just in my dictionary. To see more of what I eat or my shenanigans, follow me on Instagram @elcotth or add me on Facebook: Hady Elcott. Here’s also another way I stay lean.

Cut carbs Cut life.

 

 

5 days to ironman 70.3 Bahrain

I’m sore  and haven’t tapered yet. Ordered top of the line nutrition and a wrong order arrived. I have been swamped with work and cannot say no to it, because as a freelancer you just can’t refuse work, not at this stage of my life at least.

I’ve trained for this race for under a month. My longest run was the 10k I wrote about around 3 weeks ago. And it wasn’t even fast. I’m trying to sleep more, but it can be challenging.

I have a few ticks up my sleeve and will see how it goes. Humble goal: 6:30, non realistic goal: beating last years time of 6:10 ( which I was kind of in shape for ) and the  unattainable goal under 6 hours.

For now, eat super well, try and get as much sleep as I can and easy workouts. Work load is increasing by the day. That’s good if it was any other time. But that’s life. Throwing curve balls at me. Just have to me focus and deal with it the right way.

To all you tapering. I salute you. See you at the start line.

How to find our callings in life

We all want to do work that matters, work we love and work that just gets up in the morning ready to kick some ass!

BUT…. we aren’t. We drag ourselves out of bed and do what we have to do in order to survive. Here’s the thing, its hard to find it out and even if we do, we may not able to always do what we love. I for one think that one of my callings are to race in an  F1 Ferrari car. As hard as it calls me, all I can do is go karting and let my imagination do the rest. The truth is that discovering your life’s work is a challenging journey full of twists and turns. Along the way, you might need help knowing where you are and how far you have left to go.

Here are 5 ways that may help you know what your callings in life are:

hearing

  1. People see it in you without you necessarily seeing it yourself: I have been told on several counts to be a comedian, but I don’t think that I’m that funny or that I have the discipline to write material, I’m just straightforward and honest I guess. People have also told me to get into teaching and I have. I have been praised as a teacher ever since I was 19 and Its something I passionately do now. Listen, to what people tell you and what you’re made for, it may just be one of them.
  2. It’s not easy doing what you’re born to do but it comes naturally: I was almost gonna cry when I was doing the body pump module ( which is course where I get trained to be an instructor for body pump ) but I didn’t quit and it came quite naturally to me eventually. Teaching is not always easy but I do it with passion and that comes naturally cause I love doing it.
  3. It’s full of failure: My placement test to be an instructor at an international center was so hard and I failed it miserably, I then begged them for a second chance cause I was good at it but was a just a little rusty. Then, after being hired I was evaluated and failed that as well. As I was being evaluated I left the class to drink some water cause I was just drying up due to all the pressure, that really messed it up for me. But I didn’t give in, cause I wanted to be a teacher so bad from all my heart and now I’m pretty darn good at it.
  4. It’s not just one thing but plenty of things : A calling is more than just a job or a career track. It’s your whole life, and it tends to integrate into everything else that you do, not competing with but complementing your values and priorities. If a calling takes you away from your family or loved ones too much, it may be more of an addiction than a vocation.
  5. It’s not just what you do but what you leave behind: Your calling must be so big that you leave an impact behind for the world to praise, live on and maybe even continue after that you’re gone. Examples may be leaving behind great children that will impact the world and leave it better than how it is ( my parents have already played their part with their calling and can now enjoy retirement) , or leaving behind a great business that will benefit society through employment and great service or a great book that will entertain or change lives.

Look for you calling, and don’t settle. I used to think a calling was simple and easy. Now, I understand that it’s so much more. It will take my entire life to find my callings, but the destination will be worth the journey. May the same be true for you, as well.