How they digged their own graves

There he was. Smoking his way to the grave. A pretty good way to go if, if you ask me. If you enjoy it. Until you’re almost at the grave and then you really don’t wanna go. It’s not that you just don’t want to go anymore, cause who does? It’s what happens to you before you go. He was detoriating slowly. Deteriorate here means die slowly and painfully without you having any control over it and no amount of painkillers can stop it, but maybe deteriorate it even more ( make it slower ) which is bad news really. You’re just staying alive to be punished. Maybe that will make it easier after you’ve died already.

I asked him after his second diagnosis of confirmed cancer if it was from all the smoking, but he was quick to reply “NO”. I’ve been smoking all my life, can’t be it. If it was, it would have killed me a long time ago. But his premature aging and wrinkly cheeks were signs that this was coming sooner or later. Bless him.

This other guy I knew was convinced that he’s healthy and that his oversized gut was genetic and that it runs in the family. After a stroke he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol ( heart disease) and high blood pressure. He was later served the same food he always ate and refused to make any dietary changes or take medication because he was healthy and the stroke was just an incident that had occurred and was unavoidable. The next stroke he had numbed half his face leaving him partially blind and they had to amputate one of his legs due to poor blood circulation. He wished the stroke took him all the way to the grave instead of the emergency room.

What did these 2 stubborn but loving men ( to their families ) have in common ?

Well for one they became a damn burden to their loved ones and society as  a whole. They were living on the concept that if we have all done this for a long time then it’s perfectly fine. Their loved ones now had to take special care of them.

I like how the word “special” can mean the exact opposite depending on context. You’re a special boy, can mean you are mentally retarded ( literally and/or figuratively) and it can mean you’re wonderful ( Extraordinary). Their kind of “special” treatment led to others being handicapped by serving them in “special ways” no one had the pleasure of doing.

What does this teach me though?

It teaches me to look past culture and society. It teaches me that cultural habits can be very damaging if done long enough and it can damage myself and others around me in the long run. It teaches me that to deteriorate through cultural habits is bad. It teaches me to have an open mind when someone tries to teach me or even tell me something new and not be dogmatic about it. It teaches me also to be bare the pain of seeing dogmatic and stubborn loved ones dig a hole while I can’t do a single thing about it. That’s always the hardest part.

Good news for the diabetic dude though. The next stroke took him. Not sure if it was good or bad news for his loved ones. Maybe a little bit of both. A sort of a mixed feeling.
God rest their souls, and ours too while I’m at prayer mode.Amen.

How I soul create 

As I walk towards the gazing sun with my backpack and tent, I stare at the sun and hope that like in the movies, I’ll hear a voice telling me “H A D Y….Y O U  A  R E   T H E   C H O S E N   O N E” . But instead I taste the salt that’s coming out of me only, and hear silence.

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My eyes hurt now. I haven’t worn sunglasses for over a year, but I’ve never stared at the sun for that long before. I take my cell phone out and start browsing topics I find interesting. I want to be a writer. So I started this blog, in the hope of it taking me somewhere. I already feel better. I wanted to swim in the ocean, so I walked back to my car with disappointment that I will not get to hear my calling in the desert. I drove to the nearest ocean and took off all of the heavy hiking equipment I had on, boots, prescription glasses and just dived right in. It wasn’t really a dive, I had to walk towards the shallow water first and it stayed shallow for quite some time, I was almost going to turn back disappointed but the water eventually had covered me from head to toe. More salty flavor, but this time it wasn’t coming out my body. I guess it was a good idea to replenish my salt stocks.

I didn’t expect the ocean to tell me anything, but I felt liberated. Isn’t that what we’re looking for?. Why did I want to hear my calling from the sun, wearing hard shell pants, a fleece pullover, a hard shell jacket, warm socks, insulated boots, and high gaiters in the midst of summer?  Is that the way that I want to remember my calling? I want liberty, freedom and justice for all. Ok, that’s a little over the top but freedom will do for now. Until my next post.

I was wearing myself down, doing things I didn’t enjoy even the idea, just so maybe I could find out if it was good for me or if I wanted to do that. People go through heaps of trouble and stress to look for what they’re calling is and don’t realize that it can be easier than buying a plane ticket to Ghana for a spiritual hiking trip. I have written about finding our callings previously but this post is an even a shorter cut to that. Makes any sense?

After that ocean swim I decided to mostly  do want I want (having a family prevents you from a 100% freedom but i’ll settle for  75-85%) and in regards to soul searching, I’ve found a cheaper and more efficient alternative to the Ghana trip. And probably safer too.Here’s what I do and my soul has been expanding since.

Stopped stressing about my soul. I stopped looking for meaning outside of my interests. If I don’t enjoy wearing high gaiters, then I decided I’m not going to do something I don’t enjoy to supposedly feel spiritual. I stopped overthinking what I love to do and did more of things I like and enjoy. Like this post right here.

  1. You will not feel awesome everyday. I don’t want to post everyday but I feel better when I do. I don’t want to workout everyday but I feel awesome after I do. The same goes with self love , work, teaching. You are not going to be happy waking everyday to do what you love, you will not love it everyday but you’ll definitely feel better after doing it, and that’s love. It’s messed up. Mood follows action.
  2. Take up a prova. Prova is the Italian word for “attempt”. I once thought I wanted to be a graphic designer because I like cartoons and I have a vivid imagination, so I attempted to take up a graphic design course  and dropped it 20 minutes later ( and I didn’t even get the full deposit back ). It just wasn’t for me. The seat I had to sit in, the boring software. I liked the idea of it but the reality was that it wasn’t my thing. So try things that you think you may like and see how it feels.
  3. Stop soul searching. And start creating. I started looking up classes I wanna take, courses and some I thought were fun, turned out to be a total disappointment of what I had in mind. I started creating content. Youtube, blogs, pictures and anything I could do to create. Then things and people come searching for you. Some want your help, your advice and some want to make a fool out of you. It’s all good.
  4. Create challenges. If there are things I feel good about after doing, then I try to challenge myself to do it everyday for a period of time and try and make a habit out of it. Every time I break that challenge, it’s harder to get back on, but I don’t dwell for too long, just maybe lose sleep for a day or two but then get back right at it.
  5. It’ll take time. Progress takes time, but when I stick I feel better a 100% of the time. Hang on to your happiness and good habits, you’ll be a better whole person for it. And as much as I hate to say this but patience is a virtue when it comes to soul creating. You don’t create in a week or a month. I think 5 years is a good time period to see where I have come. So don’t lose hope and stick stick stick. You fall off the wagon, fine. Cry for a day or two, make your life and everyone else’s a living hell then get back on it and feel better. Others will too.

I follow these simple guidelines for a period of time and I almost always feel better.On to creating some more soul. If you read this and felt like creating a soul for yourself. Let me know how it goes.

 

The time it takes to get fat

27 years has gone by and he’s now 28 years old. He has visited the gym quite a few times in his  life,  once for a week of intensive workouts that completely burnt him out and another time was when he was in his teens when he suddenly wanted to look good, cause you know..it feels good to look good. But that failed him as well, it was just too much work and it was too hard, the programs given to him were not properly designed to sustain, just focused on a lot of hard work too soon.

He has been a fat kid all his life, well, chubby at first and then fat. I remember being with him in the 6th grade and he was already overweight so its been a while, so it took him around 12-13 years to become overweight and he has been maintaining that ever since.

Last year, he was 27 and he was just as fat, maybe a little less or a little more. He finally decided that its time to change for good. NO more Mr. fat man, no more Mr careless eater and NO more junk food. He finally realized that he had missed out on so much in life and had the strong urge to look and feel good. It’s been a long journey for him but it was time to switch lanes.

So he decided to lose weight, the only issue was that he wanted that change to happen NOW. He starved himself, over trained, ate tasteless food (aka healthy bland food ) , but it just made him go back to square 1. He had to find a solution, so the easiest way was to take it one step at a time. He set a realistic goal and took it easy, and made small changes to his diet, exercised moderately avoiding injury and burn out and has lost 15kg ( 33 LBS ) since the last year. He looks better now, healthier for sure and is very optimistic of what more he can accomplish.

How to lose weight long-term:

  1.  Take baby steps. We have abused our bodies for years and years and years, and expect to fix that in a month, that is not sustainable, logical and will cause more harm than good. It will take at least a good 2-3 years to rectify all of the damage done to the body. So embrace the journey, be patient with it. As much as we have damaged it, it will take half the time to fix that but at least give your body half the time to do wor its magic.
  2. Don’t diet : Don’t put a lot of restrictions from day one. Take out one bad thing/habit ever week and take it from there. Ease into it, your body will be in less of a shock and you’ll be able to absorb the changes gracefully.
  3. NO 10-30 day challenges : This is not a crash course on losing weight, this is a journey, the new you. Someone you’re going to want to get to know and live with for the rest of your life, not for 10-30 days. So skip the bikini body challenges and the fad diets and do what’s good for you. recreate yourself and become a new you.

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These are my few tips on to lose weight term for overweight people and this applies to anyone wanting to live a better and healthier lifestyle. More to be posted on this but for now, lets take baby steps and ease into it.

To life, health and vitality.

Let me know your thoughts and criticisms.